Tuttle & Kline
Award winning morning radio partners for 25+ years, Tim Tuttle and Kevin Kline share stories and insights through organic conversation and natural humor.
Tuttle & Kline
Ep #16: Neighborhood Tales of Humor and Heroics
Ever wondered how a seemingly innocent pool day could turn into a neighborhood spectacle? Join us as we share some unforgettable tales from our suburban adventures, starting with a hilarious moment involving our matching white shirts and a nod to the movie "Twins." We laugh about the quirks of our fitness routines and the importance of taking it easy as we age.
You'll be on the edge of your seat as we recount a wild poolside incident where a neighbor’s outburst about a potential terrorist threat caused a commotion, especially among the kids.
We dive into the complexities of living in a diverse community and discuss how humor can sometimes be the best tool to diffuse tense situations. Plus, you'll get a kick out of a story about a neighbor who was ready to jump in with defibrillation assistance if needed!
We discuss our Top 3 things we wish we knew but don't. Both Tuttle and Kline had one answer in common. What was it?
All that and so much more.
welcome to the Tuttle and Klein show you got the white shirt memo too.
Speaker 4:Look at us we're all subbed up we're twins yeah, which which one's DeVito and which one's Schwarzenegger?
Speaker 3:Oh, I think we know who that is your Arnold Kevin Kline. But I get free Jersey Mike subs if I'm DeVito, so hey, that's a pretty good tradeoff. At Jersey Mike's they slice your order fresh right in front of you. And let me tell you, watching that can send a rush of emotions through a person.
Speaker 4:It works out to your benefit, without a doubt. How you doing, buddy. I'm doing well, man, I'm doing good, awesome how's the shoulder? Much better. I started working. I worked out three times last week monday, wednesday, friday so I feel much better about myself, even though I'm kind of like slowly getting into it well, that's the way you should do it yeah, yeah, I just you come to a realization where it's like, okay, you can't quite be as crazy as you were before.
Speaker 4:Okay, I mean, I, I overdid it, I mean I was going hard, I you know, yeah. And there there's a point where you're where your body's like dude, you ain't 25 anymore yeah, I mean it's.
Speaker 3:It's that line that you're so apt to quote from Colors. Heard the one about the two bulls.
Speaker 1:Not yet, not yet. Well, these two bulls are sitting on a grassy knoll overlooking a herd of Guernseys.
Speaker 2:And the baby bull says, hey, pop, let's run down and fuck one of those cows. But the popper bull says, no, son, let's walk down.
Speaker 3:Fuck them all. You start back easy and then you know now you're working out three days a week, perfect.
Speaker 4:Yeah, three days a week and you know I'm going to add sets weekly, so I was doing three sets at a time. I'll do four this week.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 4:Hey, I guess we both have some good neighbor stories, like a good neighbor.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, I can't wait to hear yours. I bet you they're more fun than mine.
Speaker 4:Kev. It was a big thing over the weekend because out at the pool there's a lot of drinking.
Speaker 3:OK.
Speaker 4:And things get louder and louder as the day progresses. Right, and I just there was a neighbor, we had a neighbor that just started freaking out about I just know there's going to be a terrorist attack soon. I just know it. You know. He's just like they've been letting all these military aged people from hostile countries coming in over the border the last three years. Most americans don't know it. He's like. He's like freaking out, he's like I just know, you know and I can, I could tell some of these people are at the store and they look at me, and you know, with disgust and hatred and everything like that, and I'm like terrorist, terrorist attack dude. I mean, look at you, you're more likely to be attacked by your heart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4:Than a terrorist attack. Plus, you know, dude, from what I hear from the neighborhood, you've got a big heart, so you're even more susceptible man. You got to watch out. I was trying to calm and diffuse the situation with humor a little bit, of course, because some children's were getting scared. Oh really, yeah, some kids were starting to hear it and they were getting that look on their face and some of the other adults and families and everything like that, and I was like man, this is, this is no time or no place for you to be standing on the soapbox. I mean a lot. What you say is true.
Speaker 3:I can't imagine that the suburbs of Houston would be a prime target. The reason it is is.
Speaker 4:you know there are a lot of immigrants in our area. Yeah, there are a lot. I mean, you know you look out at our communities and our neighborhoods here in Fort Bend County. There are a lot, and just some people are like you know, some of these people look at me wrong or just with disgust and hatred. I mean, is it, are they going to come together sometime? And you know, there's there's a lot of, there's a lot of wheels turning.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I get that, I get that a lot. Yeah, yeah, but I was like I was trying to.
Speaker 4:But I was like I was trying to call him and I was like, hey, man, you know, your, your, your heart's going to attack you before a terrorist does, so just calm down there. But and then some other guys, or some other guy, a neighbor heard that and it was like heart attack. Hey, I just want to give you know, just let me know. And he was giving people his number. Wow, he's serious. Yeah, he's like hey, I got, I know how to use it, I got the paddles, I'll help you out, and everything like that. And I was like whoa, okay, so I, I can see why you just ate four hot dogs and two hard-boiled eggs. You don't care exactly.
Speaker 3:Could you defibrillate yourself though?
Speaker 4:yeah, I guess so okay or his wife was just sitting there who was rolling her eyes and on her fourth, uh, white claw is his.
Speaker 3:I guess she's assigned to it yeah, they probably used it for different reasons than medical purposes yeah, yeah, exactly. Break out the toy honey Clear, yeah, clear.
Speaker 4:That's funny. But yeah, that was the big neighborhood hubbub at the pool this weekend.
Speaker 3:How old was this guy that was freaking out?
Speaker 4:Late 30s.
Speaker 3:Really, boy, that is just way too young to be stressing.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I was like, yeah, dude, you got so much other shit that should be on your mind rather than that. But you know, it's the world we're in now. I mean it's chaos. It is. And headlines and everything like that that people read. It's just freak out where if you were, if you really just look at things, I mean, yeah, inflation sucks and shit costs a lot of money now, but nothing really comes and hits home to you. You know, is your life really that different, you know?
Speaker 3:what I'm saying. I know exactly what you're saying. I talk about it in the Fuzzy Mike episode this week.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah, we let too much bother us.
Speaker 3:We really do. We really do, and we've talked about this so many times on our 17 episodes, 16, 17 episodes of the fuzzy mic. Don't sweat the small stuff. If you can't control it, let it go.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean, when you look at it, I mean every you, everybody has their own like groove that they're in. You know I I enjoy, you know, getting up trading my futures, working, working out, being in contact and in touch with my kids, proud of them, proud of their development and their growth and what they're doing out there. And uh, you know, and you know, every other weekend I get dallas and timmy and you know that's a fun blast type situation. You know that that's my groove, that's that, that's what I do, you know what Jonas is doing right now.
Speaker 3:Holy shit, man, is that ridiculous? That kid's going to take over the world.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he's 20 years old and he's just got back. Overnight. They had a late flight. Audrey went with him to San Francisco. He was in an art, an artificial intelligence conference, invited to do a speech, and he did a speech and and Kev I, I, I mean I guess we can post the subject matter of the speech and his three very Asian partners that helped him with the presentation, and if anybody under, if anybody can understand that shit right there, you're way ahead of about 99.99% of the planet.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Did. Uh, was that his first time in San Francisco? Yeah, have you been.
Speaker 4:I have not. I, you know, I I've, I've been there um flying through, but I've never, ever been on the ground there. And I see, you know, like Audrey and Jonas, I mean, they've already buried me in terms of world travel and experiences, and that's something that I'm going to turn around in the next few years for sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know you should. If you have a desire, then you should. I'm going to tell you right now that, uh, it's the best learning experience you will ever get is traveling to go to different cities, to go to different countries. Um, it's my favorite city to visit in america san francisco. It is fucking love that city, but I wouldn't live there. Oh god, no, I wouldn't live there.
Speaker 3:Well, you can't afford to live there right, yeah, that's why you have a lot of homeless people there. But, yeah, you can't afford to live there. But it is such a cool city, tim.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, in and out, but they went to Alcatraz and I thought that was cool.
Speaker 3:We did the night tour at Alcatraz.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and you know they did a lot of cultural stuff and they were on the electric bikes and everything like that, so I thought that was cool. You know, audrey, being an athletic director for a university, you know once graduation comes around she gets a little time to herself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that's why she's going to different places like Costa Rica, and now she went to San Francisco. Yes, they're living the life dude.
Speaker 4:Oh, they, they, they, they are, they're, they're those, those, those two uh are, are uh doing things that I've never even imagined being able to do, like now, much less you know uh, when I was their age so good genes, hard work ethic get you a lot of a lot of places they are uh, they are brilliant. They are uh ahead of the game.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:You know, that's why I I I always uh was okay with you know. Kids being whiners, uh. Kids being entitlement people, kids complaining about stuff, kids being shiftless and lazy Cause my kids are going to kick their ass.
Speaker 3:Always looking on the bright side, Timmy yeah you.
Speaker 4:You go ahead and complain about silly, stupid shit. While you're doing that, uh, audrey's gonna destroy you. You know, yeah, yeah. So, and you know, dallas and timmy are the same way. They they like. They are on the ball, they're smart, they're quick, um, they're gonna be the same from the same mold. They're gonna. They are on the ball, they're smart, they're quick, um, they're gonna be this in the from the same mold. They're gonna.
Speaker 4:They're gonna be ass kickers, while everybody else is a complainer that stems from the top, my friend yeah, we uh, we definitely uh, you know, instilled that uh as a major thing uh for them growing up. We did, okay, yeah, you did, despite our uh, our craziness, uh, you know, you know, um, personal lives and everything like that. They rode, the kids rose above it and um, they, they, they kick some ass and I'm very proud of them. What's going on with your first off? I've never even heard you have interchanges, uh, or exchanges or anything like that with your neighbors at all in the 28 years you and I have been friends and radio partners and business partners and everything like that, and suddenly you're having a run in every other week. What's going on here?
Speaker 3:Well, I think it started a little bit last year. Right across the street from us we have an 82-year-old woman who lives alone and I take her trash out every Wednesday and then bring the trash can back to her porch. I think people see that. And then they see me mowing the lawn and they think, oh well, this guy's approachable and he likes to do shit for the neighbors. So I helped the neighbor move two weeks ago. All right, I had only talked to them once before and the guy didn't even remember my name when he asked me to help him move. But he gave me a sob story. You know, we got to be out in less than 24 hours. We really need to help. So I helped him clear two rooms and then I took off. You want to hear some bullshit about that, tim.
Speaker 4:Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. So you've actually escalated into a moving situation.
Speaker 3:I helped him and his wife move out of their house. Kev.
Speaker 4:Kev.
Speaker 3:What.
Speaker 4:I wouldn't even ask you to move me because I'd be afraid of what your answer is. What is going on?
Speaker 3:here. Well, they were in a desperate situation because they're lazy fucks and they had 30 days to get out of their house and they waited until the last 24 hours to start packing and moving. Oh my God, now here's the shit. Tim, tell me that you wouldn't hire this real estate agent in the future. The real estate agent of the people who bought the house. They were there at four o'clock when they were supposed to move in with their U-Haul truck. The other people weren't out, yet she hired movers out of her commission. The buyer's agent hired movers out of her commission to move these fucks out of their house.
Speaker 4:That's unbelievable man, isn't it though? Fucks out of their house. That's unbelievable man, isn't it, though? That that is. That is so that kev, I I do not understand. Again. That is a lot of that. I'm the center of the universe, uh, everybody else is a two-dimensional cardboard cutout that drops to the ground whenever I leave the room.
Speaker 3:That's that sociopath, narcissist shit yeah, so uh, and the guy was laid off for eight weeks leading up to this and he didn't do anything, you know, and and so I have movers regret now that they were so lazy and I would not have.
Speaker 4:I would have walked in there, looked around and go are you fucking kidding me? Fuck you. And walked out because they're not your neighbors anymore.
Speaker 3:Yeah, very true.
Speaker 4:I'd be like hey, I got to go take a dump, they don't want you to take a dump there. I'll be right back Never.
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, he wanted me to help on Saturday and we were already out of town. But when we came back we turned off our car lights to pull into our own driveway, so he wouldn't notice that we were pulling in Kev.
Speaker 4:that is just awful man. I'm so sorry you went through that.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's okay, it gets better.
Speaker 4:Wait, there's more.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, wednesday and Thursday of this past week the neighbor saw me mowing our lawn and he's like, hey, didn't you say you have a brush hog? I'm like, yeah, I do. He said, can you mow our field here with your brush hog? He goes, I'll pay you. I'm like, okay, well, tim, I didn't know how big the field was and my walk, my, my brush hog is just a walk behind with a 42 inch deck. How many miles do you think I walked mowing this field? 10 over two days. 12, I wish it was 10 or 12. How try? 25.75 miles? You did a marathon. I mowed a fucking marathon wow, why, dude?
Speaker 4:why do you do that, though? Why don't you just go? Hey man, I don't know this much. I'm not doing this shit, hire somebody I didn't know.
Speaker 3:I thought you know what. It's, just straight lines, I can get this. No, dude, there's a hill that was down. I didn't even see that part.
Speaker 4:Kev, we have talked many years about rules of engagement with neighbors. You just don't engage. I try not to rules of engagement with neighbors. You just don't engage. I try not to None Head down. And you have so many different options. Now, kev, you got earbuds, you got AirPods. I don't see or hear anything. I don't know what you're talking about. I walk straight from my car right into my house If somebody's knocking on the door. You know, yeah, sure, growing up. You know, when we were little kids in the late 70s and early 80s when somebody knocked on the door, know, yeah, sure, growing up. You know, when we were little kids in the late 70s and early 80s when somebody knocked on the door, it was a neat thing. Everybody run out and go oh my god, who's here? Who's here? Now it's not that way. Now it's like who the fuck is here?
Speaker 3:it was uh. Comedian sebastian maniscalco had a great riff on that 20 years ago your doorbell rang.
Speaker 4:That was a happy moment in your house. It's called company be sitting there on a Thursday night watching TV. Your doorbell rang the whole family shot off the couch put the lights on somebody's.
Speaker 1:Here we got people nobody looked to see who it was.
Speaker 4:You just opened up the door, you were like oh, my God, look at that. Look at us here. Want a cup of coffee, want some Sanka. Now your doorbell rings.
Speaker 4:It's like what the fuck exactly? And I can remember my mom doing that too well, I just brewed a coffee there, okay. So come on in, yep, and it was like the next thing, you know, you got like eight neighbors in your house. That's right, yeah, okay, yeah. And it just it comes out of nowhere. And that was just the way the shit was. And next thing, you know, you got like eight neighbors in your house. That's right, yeah, okay, yeah. And it just it comes out of nowhere. And that was just the way the shit was done back in the late seventies and eighties. Now it's like I don't want anybody crossing that threshold. Get down, nobody crosses that threshold. Seriously, man, I mean, I, I, I don't. I don't answer doors. You know I don't answer doors. You know I'm cordial if we catch eye, contact, hey how's?
Speaker 4:it going man? Yeah, how's it going man? But that's it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's incredibly ballsy of these neighbors to ask me this without really knowing me. How much did you get paid for the marathon? I'm grateful that he paid me anything, but how much would you have paid?
Speaker 4:Oh my God, at least a hundred bucks.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, uh yeah. The going rate for mowing uh five, almost five and a half acres walking is between 750 and a thousand dollars. Whoa yeah. To mow it with a mower, you know, a riding mower is between 250 and 450. I got 200.
Speaker 4:oh wow, eight bucks an hour fuck him, dude, but do you say anything?
Speaker 3:no, I just say, hope you like it, you know I see that's where you and I differ.
Speaker 4:I would speak. What would you say? Well, I would never. I would never have been in that position in the first place. Okay, I would have been like, nah, it's an extensive job, I'm retired now, I mean, you're retired, yeah, I choose not to. I just choose not to Nothing. Personal man, I wish you the best on it. There are all kinds of different services. Really quick, all you have to do is google. You know, uh, you know extensive uh mowing blah, blah, blah, you know in your zip code and a bunch will pop up and somebody who's paid to do this shit will do this shit. But I'm not going to do that for you.
Speaker 4:I mean you know asking you to do a 25.7 mile walk while mowing Kev. That's like him saying hey, I got some paint in my garage, can you paint my whole fucking house?
Speaker 3:I would turn that down.
Speaker 4:Exactly, exactly. Yeah, that would be a hard. No, kev. You need to come back to Texas, man. Come on, you can come back to Houston, I could.
Speaker 3:You'd love that, wouldn't you?
Speaker 4:You know that'd be all right. I mean, I wouldn't hang out that much. We could do some podcasts like same room podcasts. You know here and there. But you know, yeah, you know, it's not going's not gonna change like how 26 of our 28 years have been together, or it's like later, yeah the.
Speaker 3:The whole running joke was uh, when I retired, I was gonna I was gonna live right next to tim and I was just gonna ride by his house every day and wave to him when he's on the porch and he's gonna to pull out his shotgun.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah, kev, I remember you know, initially we did a lot of shit together. We were we like carpooled and everything like that.
Speaker 3:Oh dude, we were inseparable the first four years.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and then you know it was, it was a, it was a back-to-back thing on Kevin's part. You know, first decided one day I'm not going to carpool anymore, I'm driving separate.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the reason that happened was because I met Chelsea and I was going to the hospital every day after work.
Speaker 4:I think you said it was because you can't handle my road rage anymore.
Speaker 3:Well, there were times. There were times, yeah.
Speaker 4:You're going to get me shot man. I mean, who always gets killed in a road raid's always shotgun man that's right.
Speaker 3:It's always the passenger, it's always the bastard, although there were times where I longed to hear look, kids, it's the north american asshole.
Speaker 4:Explain that, because that was always funny to me oh, I like when somebody was a terrible driver, they'd cut you off or do something stupid, and then, uh, you pass them. You know you got the kids or you in the car, whoever you always go, oh, hey, look everybody, as we're passing them. It's the north, uh, north american assholess motherfuckers. Like you know, we're identifying a species yeah, exactly and I. I would do some different ones every time yeah, it was, that was always fun yeah, yeah, yeah, but you just okay and you know.
Speaker 4:And then, uh, I was like, okay, well, he's got his, he's got his own thing, now he wants to drive, and that's cool. And then the one I really remember makes me laugh is you know we were, we were talking on the air one time about little yippy dogs and I specifically said, man, I don't like those dogs, man I just they. They annoy me a little again. Not a week or two later, kevin kline gets yip and yapped a couple pomeranians yep, two little palms, so Poms.
Speaker 3:So I'm like okay, message received. That idea was spawned when we were working together in Nashville because the lady who lived below us in the apartment every day at 515, when she got home from work she would walk the dogs and there were two little Pomeranians and they yipped and yapped and spun around and jumped and I was like man that would be cool to come home to every day. So that's why we got Pomeranians, okay. I mean my favorite, my favorite dog breeds the GSD German shepherd dog.
Speaker 4:I like how you're spinning these things, so they have no reflection on me whatsoever.
Speaker 3:Those are the real reasons. Oh, come on. No, no, seriously yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, real reasons. Oh, come on, no, no, seriously, yeah, yeah, I trust me. After all these years, there's one thing that I know, uh, about me I can be a little much but still the longest relationship you've ever had yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4:Um, hey, kev, I got this crazy direct message from somebody I didn't even know and hadn't even spoken to in decades, and I didn't even know they were watching or listening to the podcast. It was somebody that I was an altar boy with sixth, seventh and eighth grade. Somebody that I was an altar boy with sixth, seventh and eighth grade. Oh geez, that's years ago.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I didn't even know. I mean, we were, we were, we were, we were pretty tight back in the day and and I didn't even know this person was listening or even like new of my existence anymore. But you know, him and I we would always volunteer to do the extra jobs you actually get paid cash, like the funerals and the weddings and everything like that, and I I was uh always trying to when we like we were doing a funeral, I would always try to stay stuff under my breath that would make him crack up and just be inappropriate at a funeral. And I did it, yeah, I did it a couple times where he literally like it was just, you know, I know, kids are kids stupid yeah, well, it was fun for you yeah, yeah, I mean, that's what I I mean.
Speaker 4:But we were, we were tight, we were buds, but he said hey, hey, timmy, you know, I uh, I was watching your podcast, you know, and and I noticed, I noticed that you know you were talking about your altar boy days and everything like that, and you even brought up father Tom. You even said father Tom, well, did you know that father Tom made the list? No, and I was like what are you talking about, father Tom? What list? What are you talking about father tom? What list? And he was there's like a national registry list of like defrocked uh priests that were caught up in the uh underage pedophile stuff, pedophile scandal yeah, yeah, and I was shocked because a father tom was the last dude that I would ever imagine would be that guy.
Speaker 4:I mean, I, I had like three or four fathers that you know, I when I went to school and when I went to church, everything like that that I would put ahead ahead of him in regards to fiddling with giblets, right.
Speaker 4:So I was stunned and you know, you know I and I cause I really liked the guy. I mean he was the best, I mean he was, he was the best priest, that that we ever had. Wow, like, he like, like was kind and warm and nice and everything like that and you know things they said about Bundy? Well, yeah, oh, he's so handsome.
Speaker 3:Uh well, yeah, oh he's so handsome, uh huh. He's so handsome, he'll fucking kill you. So did your friend get fiddled no, apparently.
Speaker 4:Apparently it was just one like 16 or 15 or 16 year old before he moved to our parish. Oh, okay. All right, and that's that's all they got on them, Cause usually, you know, not not only do they have the defrock pedophile list, but they have the number of victims and their ages and everything like that. Oh shit.
Speaker 3:Can you, can you maybe explain this to me, cause we're both Catholic? I just have never understood this. When a priest becomes a priest, they take a vow to remain celibate all their life. So Jesus doesn't want them having relations with women, but what he's okay with them doing kids.
Speaker 4:No, Kevin, it's just, you know, in all walks of life there are bad people. There's bad plumbers, there's bad radio people I'm probably one of them, you know. There's there's bad lawyers, bad Well, every politician pretty much. But there's just bad people in every vocation. Yeah, and when you have a vocation where you know sex is so verboten and forbidden. Yeah, you know, and they're. You know they're not even supposed to have any at all in any way. Heck, you can't even masturbate in the Catholic church. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3:I know what you're saying. I was born and raised Catholic, that's just unnatural for a human.
Speaker 4:And I'm not trying to rationalize, no, I don't yeah, I'm just saying that you're.
Speaker 3:You create these situations yeah, can you imagine the first priest to approach another priest? Hey, uh, I was reading the the dogma and, uh, I found a loophole oh, don't do it there, father tom don't do it there, Father Tom Don't do it. A lot of them were Irish. Do you have an Irish? We had an Irish priest, yeah.
Speaker 4:As a matter of fact, we had some Irish priests, but Kev Father Tom was. Let me tell you a story about Father Tom. Yeah, we had a basketball team. We're a catholic school and basketball is big and everything like that sixth, seventh and eighth grade team. And you know I was I just started for for the first time playing basketball in sixth grade. Up to that point I was pretty much exclusively a baseball player, a little soccer, and I started getting good, you know, at basketball and you know starter, the guy and everything like that. Well, when I would go and shoot free throws, I would, before every free throw, you know, because I'm a good Catholic boy, altar boy, I would do a sign of the cross. Uh-huh.
Speaker 4:I thought that was a cool thing, you know, right, and I thought that you know the priest and everything like that would be. You know they're going to look at him. He's a devout boy, you know. But I remember one time after a game, father Tom came in it was the first game he ever watched and he comes in and he goes Timmy, that sign of the cross before each three. You can't. You got to stop that. You got to stop that. Oh, and I told him. I was like, I asked him, I was like, father, what's going on? He goes first off. God has a lot more important things to worry about than your stupid little one-point free throw right there. And that's what my teammates did right there too. They laughed and this got the big laugh. And then he goes. Plus, timmy, you're about a 75% free throw shooter, so you're making God look bad 25% of the time.
Speaker 3:That's a cool priest.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I just good point. Good point Because if you're doing the sign of the cross man, that's got to go in, right? If it doesn't go in, people are going like, well, where's God? Where's your God? Where's your God? Where's your God? The public school players that we're playing against? We played against some public school teams. They're probably going where's your. God now. You just had the opportunity to tie the game with a minute 14 left. You did your little sign of the cross and Jesus didn't show up for you. Alter boy, yeah, Right.
Speaker 3:Then at the end, when you won, you were like there's my God, look at your scoreboard.
Speaker 4:Exactly. And now I'm going to go take your cheerleader, girlfriend.
Speaker 3:Hey question, uh, talking about sign of the cross, uh, I was running in the cemetery again the other day and they had a burial with full military honors Okay, 21 gun salute flag over the casket and all that kind of stuff and when I passed I would turn my music down. I would actually just turn it off and every time because I'm, I was, I've never been military, so I can't salute, so I would stop face and do the sign of the cross. Is that, is that, was that acceptable, or should I?
Speaker 4:No, that's cool.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:No, that's cool. I Kev when, when we're um, when you're driving and you, everything has to get stopped because of a military procession or, excuse me, a funeral processional. Yes, I always get out of my vehicle and I'll stand up and if I have a hat on, I'll take my hat off. I always do that. Yeah, I always. I just always do that, or I just if I'm walking, I'll stop and just, you know, bow head and show respect. Yeah, that's, that's what I think, even if you don't know the person, I think that's okay.
Speaker 3:I had no idea who this person was, but they're getting full military honors, so they were somebody important.
Speaker 4:That's it. Well, you know, my dad got the 21 gun salute taps and all that stuff. I did, oh Captain, my captain. And then he had the. Yeah, I read that that was the toughest thing I ever.
Speaker 5:Oh, captain, my captain, rise up and hear the bells Rise up for you.
Speaker 4:The flag is flung for you, the bugle trills have forget about anything that we've ever had to do on the air any stage announcement, any interview. The hardest thing that ever for me to deliver was when I was 28 years old and I had to read oh, captain, my captain, uh, at my dad's funeral.
Speaker 3:I remember you telling me about that. Yeah so yeah, my dad was buried full military honors. I didn't eulogize him, didn't know what to say.
Speaker 4:Well, he hung himself in an extension cord in the basement. That makes it a little awkward.
Speaker 3:Well, no, I just don't know, I don't, I didn't know him. Yeah, well, I just don't know, I don't, I didn't know him. Yeah Well, that's it. He was very secretive, you know. I mean, if we weren't getting yelled at, he was, he was not talking to us. They asked me to eulogize my dad, but I was too torn up man.
Speaker 4:Yeah Well, he was your hero. We say that all the time. I was torn up, I couldn't do it. I feel awful that I didn't Cause I think he does. He deserved my eulogy and I feel some guilt there's some guilt I feel, about that. I'm trying to build my radio career five hours away. I'm in Nashville, he's in Indianapolis and I knew he had cancer, everything like that. I just didn't think it was going to be that quick. I thought there'd be more time. I should have been up there more often on weekends. I regret that. I regret that, but I'm trying to build a radio career. You know, that's how I rationalize in my head. Right, and I didn't eulogize him at his funeral and I was asked because everybody thought you know, timmy's the guy, tim's the guy to do it. I just didn't do it. I couldn't do it.
Speaker 3:Well, here's the thing that's completely understandable about that. Number one you didn't know it was going to be so fast and you don't know how much time. Okay. But number two it's your dad, and your dad's supposed to be invincible and here he is battling this potentially deadly disease and you see him withering away and withering away, and that's not the way you want to remember him well, cab, I, I in all honesty, and I guess I'm delusional, uh, I, I thought he was gonna beat it.
Speaker 4:I thought it was like you're not taking my bad. Oh, you're not delusional, I thought he was going to beat it.
Speaker 3:I thought it was like you're not taking my bad. Oh, you're not delusional. You always have to believe that they're going to beat it.
Speaker 4:I just I never. I kept waiting for the phone call of yeah, he's in remission. He turned the corner.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know what I'm saying. I know exactly what you're saying.
Speaker 4:I just I never imagined until like I think it was two or three days before he died you know, my brother kind of sent a message saying it's grim, yeah, and I didn't even pick up on that. It's grim, okay. Well, you know, I'll come home next weekend or the weekend after or something like that. You know what I'm saying, yeah, next weekend or the weekend after, or something like that. You know what I'm saying, yeah. And then before that, even weekend got there on a Friday morning, I got the call that he was gone and I was like God dang man that. And I just I've been, I, I, I writhed in guilt over that.
Speaker 3:Oh, I can see how you would. Um, but again it goes back to you didn't know it was going to happen so fast and you, you know he's your hero, he's, he's the strength that you, that you get plus, you know, my brother was by his side the whole time and because of that my brother got the, his victory medal for world war ii and his rolex.
Speaker 4:So I got fucking snaked out of that shit, being the oldest son well, it makes sense too, because todd went military, so yeah, what about the rolex cav? What's your answer for the rolex?
Speaker 3:uh, he liked todd better well who doesn't? Yeah, I was gonna say I think dorothy probably had a had a hand in that one too my ex-wives like todd better, todd's the greatest todd is pretty damn cool what was your rabbit hole for the week?
Speaker 4:what did you get caught in last week?
Speaker 3:uh, it was a lengthy rabbit hole and it's not the most pleasant of rabbit holes to get in. But after grayson murray, the pga tour pro that killed uh two weeks ago, um, somebody commented in the uh comment section of the article oh, it was the vaccine's fault. Well, I wanted to find out, and this is what the fuzzy mic is about this week. I wanted to find out the validity of that comment. So what I did was I started studying suicide rates, going all the way back to 1900, just to see how those compare to today. So I spent eight hours looking at suicide rates and methods. Oh yeah, I know Right.
Speaker 4:OK, well, in your conclusion, what was your synopsis?
Speaker 3:Well, the conclusion was that the the highest suicide rates were in years and decades. They do it by decades, and the highest suicide rates were in years and decades. They do it by decades, and the highest suicide rates were in decades where unemployment was high and earning wages were low. Okay, so you got. The Great Depression. 1930 is the highest ever 22 people per 100,000 were killing themselves then. Okay. Now, since in the last two decades decades we've been on a steady increase. The lowest we've ever had was 2 000. What was going on in 2000, where only 10.2 people killed themselves out of 100 000?
Speaker 4:we were in the bubble. We were in the internet uh, stock market bubble and people were making millions. Exactly, so the dot coms and all that. Yeah, yes, yes, exactly.
Speaker 3:So we're at fourteen point two now, which is just slightly above fourteen point one, and then in 2019, when the vaccine first came out we were at thirteen point eight. So we're seeing a little increase, but nothing like what we saw in the Great Depression, nothing like what we saw in the 1900s.
Speaker 4:The vaccine has nothing to do with suicide. The vaccine deaths. That's murder, that's genocide.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:People don't take the vaccine. I hate my life. Now I'm ready to end it all. I'm so tired of everything. Let me go over to Walgreens and get the COVID vaccine. That's not a suicide method, Well no, that guy's comment didn't make sense. Well, no, what they're, what that guy's? That guy's comment didn't make sense.
Speaker 3:Well, that's what I said too. I said it was a baseless and unnecessary comment, but you you commented back. No, no, no, this was in in in the fuzzy mic. I say that, yeah, uh, I and I. What? What this person was saying and what this doctor that I ended up quoting is saying is people think that the vaccine leads to more psychosis, which leads to more PTSD, which leads to more suicide. Oh, there's no proof of that, though.
Speaker 4:Just like there was no proof that the vaccine was actually going to work either.
Speaker 3:No, let me ask you this, though, because I know that you're not down with the vaccine okay, no, did you get a vaccine I got the vaccine and the booster I, yeah, I don't let, I don't let.
Speaker 4:Uh yeah, untested, non-researched um things go into my body. Well, I read that I, I don't trust them. I they have. They have dark and nefarious agendas on the top of the pyramid, power pyramid and a vaccine they're in control of.
Speaker 3:So fuck them well, but I did read that they did test for psychosis and they still continue to monitor that. Now, do you believe anything? You read? Well, that's what I said in the thing. Who do you believe and who do you not believe, don't you? Everything's politicized.
Speaker 4:There's so many conspiracies out there now everybody's lie, everybody's lying to you and even the shit that you see like in the comments. A lot of that is bots, yeah, trying to trying to sway opinion and push. You can't trust anything. And now they have deep fakes where they can take your voice and your image and make you say things that you never said. I mean there's. You can't trust anything anymore, right, nothing.
Speaker 3:But where do you get the answers?
Speaker 4:You don't. You I mean you don't you're, your intuition should be able to tell you when things are right or wrong. You're an intelligent individual. You, you're aware that, okay, these people have an agenda, these people have an agenda, the people that wrote that, the people that broadcast that. They have an agenda. You know you should be. You take that whole cocktail and just get a gut feel.
Speaker 3:Well, here was my conclusion. Okay, my conclusion was that my dad, in 2005, killed himself. He's the latest person in his line of the family to do it, and the four people before him did it. Okay, that's well before the COVID vaccine. Now I have been diagnosed with chronic suicidality, which means I think about it every day. Do you really what?
Speaker 4:You think about suicide every day.
Speaker 3:Every day, every day, yeah, every day. Tim, it doesn't matter what is going on.
Speaker 4:I mean, the smallest thing can upset me and I think that you have the greatest life now, man.
Speaker 3:So do Robin Williams, so do Grayson Murray.
Speaker 4:I know so did. Dan Van Gundy's wife.
Speaker 3:Just don't do that shit. Well, the statistics are that people with chronic suicidal ideation are less apt to do it, because we always think about it and we always know the ramifications. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Ok, but here's the thing. I had the vaccine, I had the booster. I'm chronic suicidality, I'm depressed. I have imposter syndrome. It's a paralyzing condition. I'm still here. Wouldn't I be the poster boy for vaccine suicide? One would think there you go. So that's my conclusion.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I don't know how right or wrong it is, and you jumped into an eight-hour rabbit hole. Yeah, yep, wow, I feel embarrassed. My rabbit hole. I just started binge watching the Office.
Speaker 3:Did you? That's something we've never watched. Is it good?
Speaker 4:It is so good, kevin, I mean you're a big fan of the mockumentaries, like you know, best in Show and Guffman and all of that. The Office is brilliant. I mean the characters are brilliant. The actors, I mean they're riffing their chemistry, their rapport. I mean I even got to the point where I was looking up their bloopers on YouTube.
Speaker 3:Oh, I bet those are great.
Speaker 4:Oh my God, they're awesome, they're incredible. You know people who are like enemies on the show, like Rainn Wilson and Krasinski. You know Jim and Dwight Schrute. They're best of buddies behind the scenes. You can tell from the bloopers I am all about Pilates.
Speaker 5:Okay, there are four tenets. I live by, one lengthen, two elongate. I can do that. All right, guys, I think we all. I'll tell you what. It's not even just about strength.
Speaker 3:I love when that happens, you know I love when they're not faking it. You know, like in suits, guys focus. They're like best friends off screen and it really made for a great chemistry on screen. So that's probably why in the office they have such great rapport.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like you and I would be able to make a killer mockumentary.
Speaker 3:I think so.
Speaker 4:Put us in any scenario and just give us an outline of where you want the scene to go, and we would nail it.
Speaker 3:Well shit, that's what we do here. You give an outline every week of what topics are out there on the table and we just riff. My mother-in-law can't believe this isn't scripted.
Speaker 4:She thinks it's scripted.
Speaker 3:No, she's just like. I can't believe. You guys are so witty, so quick, so talented and so comfortable with each other that you guys don't have to write any of this down.
Speaker 4:Let me talk to your mother-in-law real quick. What's her name?
Speaker 3:Carol. Carol, your son-in-law and I are way too fucking lazy to script things. How true is that that would?
Speaker 4:be a nightmare dude holy crap man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that would be a nightmare.
Speaker 4:I, yeah, there's. I mean, that's all it is is a little bullet. You get the bullet points. That's all we have. That's it. These are the topics we're going to talk about. If we get to them, if we even get to them Most of the times, we don't even get to half of them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because, like what you just did with binge-watching the Office, we just binge-watched the first two seasons of the Mayor of Kingstown with Jeremy Renner. Have you seen it?
Speaker 4:I have not as good I've heard about it.
Speaker 3:You're going to love it. It's phenomenal. And then we just finished the seven episodes of the Queen's Gambit, loved it.
Speaker 4:Oh, I watched the Queen's Gambit.
Speaker 3:It's good, isn't it?
Speaker 4:Oh, it's a brilliant, brilliant show.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was, but you would be good at chess, wouldn't?
Speaker 4:you Because it's a mathematics game. Yeah, I like it, but it's, it's solved. It's solved how it is mathematically solved. Okay, like the most genius minds in the world know everything, you know how to do it and everything like that, yeah, I mean it. It's like it's. It's like poker sit and goes, the mini tournaments they used to have on poker online. Right, they became solved and now they're dead because you know there was a formula there's no more intrigue.
Speaker 3:The challenge is over, it's been done yeah, I can't.
Speaker 4:You knew this. Um, I'd say about 2004 until 2009 I played a lot of online poker because you were trying to qualify for the WSOP. Yeah, I just wanted to play in the World Series of Poker main event without paying my own money.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 4:And I became one of the top five or six ranked in the world 45-person mini tournaments. You know, 325 and 650 buy-ins, because I had a mathematic formula in my head and I won a ton of money doing that and I became top rank. You know shark scope. You know big easy 411. That was my name, big easy 411. You know I was. I was always, you know, top five, six, seven in the entire world in that game because I knew it. And then it turns out, you know a couple of years later that it had been solved and it was pretty much the tactics that I employed, you know, just from my mathematic intuition. And then it's over Once the push bot charts came out, you know anybody can have that up next to them and just follow the charts.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay.
Speaker 4:The best chess players, including the computer ones now that I guess pretty much can beat any human.
Speaker 3:I think so.
Speaker 4:You know, and that shows you right there, that it's solved. Yeah. If computers can beat any human, it is mathematically solved. The game is like technically over, okay, like like even the Rubik's cube. I mean, if you're interested in knowing the pattern, you can solve that too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, people are solving it in three seconds now.
Speaker 4:Cause there's a pattern. I'm the type of person if I ever, like, got into chess, I would become so obsessed with being the guy, the one guy, that could beat the computer. You know, I'm saying that it would completely take over my life.
Speaker 3:So I I fear chest well remember, in the queen's gambit, chest did completely take over her life yeah to be that good you have to be I, I, I fear it, kev, you remember?
Speaker 4:oh, is it 2008 or whatever? Christmas of 2008. Kathy got me Madden. I played for 18 hours a day for three days during Christmas vacation. Here I am, christmas vacation, we're not doing the show. We don't come back until January. I have a seven-year-old and a five-year-old child and I completely ignored them for three days because I was addicted and obsessed with destroying the competition in Madden. I put everything in the box after that third day, handed it to Kathy and I said take this thing back. And she took it back.
Speaker 3:Everything in moderation, Timmy. I'm that guy CB, I'm that guy. Everything in Madden ration exactly, exactly.
Speaker 4:So no, I mean that shit was not for me. I mean that stuff like like, uh, dal and timmy will come over and I'll hear them in the other room. I got an xbox for them and they're playing madden or whatever and I'm just like, don't do it tim, don't do it tim, don't do it tim. You know, because it sounds so fun and they're having a blast and Dallas is really good at being a general manager. You know, because now, now Madden isn't just playing, it's the whole scope of the franchise, you know, being a general manager, making player moves and everything like that. And I Just don't do it Tim, don't do it Tim.
Speaker 3:Well, that's why he was able to break down the draft. Oh my God.
Speaker 4:He was so good at that. Fuck Mel Kiper man. You know, my son, dallas, destroys Mel Kiper. There you go. And yeah, so, kev, I had definitely. I mean, I got them the Nintendo Switch for this TV right here that's the one where you play sports with the wand and everything like that yeah, and after I got that for them two Christmases ago, I took them home and then it's just me and that box is there. I did the golf thing for about eight or nine hours straight and I immediately said don't stop, stop. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I said don't stop, stop. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I, I, for some reason, I have that gene, okay, so I have to be careful what I get into.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. No, I totally get it. I'm just thinking about those people that can do the Rubik's cube in three seconds. How, how many times do you think they would have orgasm during blur song? Too Good one, I know you did right there. Do you remember that fucking thing that we did in tallahassee? Yeah it was so funny, dude, that shit that we did then. Oh, my god man.
Speaker 4:Well, let's, I'll tell you this and we'll put it down for next week, kev. Okay, remind me when we're putting together the battle plan that what we're going to do is do a segment where we tell people the stuff that we did during the golden age of radio that we absolutely could not do these days due to community standards and the new political correctness.
Speaker 3:No, we would be canceled immediately.
Speaker 4:And Kevin, when we start discussing it, we'll put a little explicit warning on the bottom of the screen, so you know what we're about to talk about. Right, there is explicit material.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and for those of you that are downloading and listening only and not watching on YouTube, I'll make a little sound effect for you.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and Kev, you also put in that little disclaimer right there, that specifically saying to Audrey and Jonas that they cannot listen to the next X amount of minutes.
Speaker 3:There you go. Okay, yep, I will do that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, cause they you know they're they're curious. They've heard that their dad did a different show when they were very little kids. They really don't know. They knew it was bawdy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's putting it mildly.
Speaker 4:I mean when you are described as Tuttle and Cline did stuff that would make Howard Stern blush, Mm-hmm. Yeah, they get an idea of where that is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 4:All right, Well so, but no, no specifics, no specifics.
Speaker 3:I'll put that disclaimer up there then.
Speaker 4:Thank you. In the meantime, though, let's do a top three.
Speaker 1:Just when you thought they couldn't count any higher. It's Tuttle and Klein's top three.
Speaker 3:Okay, kevin Klein, I've got um, I've got top three things you don't know how to do, but you wish you did.
Speaker 4:Okay, top three things. It's just like several times over your lifetime, you just wish God dang man. Why didn't I learn that? Why do I not know that I wish I knew that.
Speaker 3:Does it have to be something small or can it be something big? There is no parameters. I wish I knew how to fly a plane. Why, though? You don't like flying, uh? But but, as we talked about last week, I do like speed and I think it would be cool to get in. You know, I I wish I had the the fortitude to get in with one of the snowbirds or the blue angels or the Thunderbirds and do that spin and stuff like that. I can't do it. So I think maybe if I flew the plane, maybe I would have a better chance of experiencing that. I don't know.
Speaker 4:You need to control it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think so, I think so.
Speaker 4:You need to control it, yeah, and if you, let me tell you, flying I guess, if you have that speed buzz, eugene, that you and I have and a lot of people have, flying is a great way to do that, because there's really no traffic up there you can just get off on your own and if you fuck up, you don't kill anybody else, you just kill yourself.
Speaker 3:Oh, I think it would be spectacular to see what Mach 1, Mach 2, Mach 3 feels like.
Speaker 4:Oh, kev, let me tell you what. To see what Mach 1, mach 2, mach 3 feels like oh. Kev let me tell you what I've experienced. Two of those Machs Really, and it is unbelievable. Wow, the full power in a high-powered jet going straight upwards and you're in the back seat is the most unreal thing ever.
Speaker 3:Do you feel those Gs? Oh yeah, it's like you're pressing the back seat is the most unreal thing ever. Do you feel those G's? Oh yeah.
Speaker 4:It's like pressing on your chest right your face yeah. You can feel your face wiggle.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I felt. I felt my face wiggle, it made me tickle.
Speaker 3:That would be cool. It was neat. The second thing I wish I would uh know more about um is probably your best forte economics. I just I don't know how shit works economically demand and yeah I know that, but I mean like, how does a hedge fund work? Why do hedge fund managers make so much money?
Speaker 4:because they get a percentage of billions of dollars. You know, if you have a hundred billion dollar hedge fund and you're clearing 20% a year, you know which is 20 billion a year and you get a quarter of that five billion. That goes right in your pocket. Five billion a year. I just don't like numbers.
Speaker 3:I think that you know. I think there's two people in the world, two kinds of people in the world people who like words and people who like numbers. I like words, I don't like numbers. I think there's other kinds of people People like the ocean, People like the mountain. I like the mountains, Don't like the ocean.
Speaker 4:You know, I guess there's people who like uh the uh the Beatles, or they like Elvis. Yeah. Yeah, I am not either of those people I like Led.
Speaker 3:Zeppelin. I know you love Led Zeppelin.
Speaker 4:I'm just kidding. I like Elvis and the Beatles too. They're awesome. I never understood that You're either the Beatles or you're Elvis. You can't be both, yeah you can Sure you can yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And that brings up my third.
Speaker 4:I wish I learned how to play guitar. I'm talking about like fucking shredding, like eddie van halen dude, that is my number one, play guitar, is it really? I wish I learned how to play as soon as I realized my voice changed and I can't sing and be a lead singer.
Speaker 3:I should have immediately gotten into the guitar, uh-huh, or even even you know, for me, I even drums yeah, drums would be good for you because, number one, it's a lot of math, yeah, and it's a lot of counting a lot of time, and you like aggressive stuff and you could be very aggressive on the drums.
Speaker 4:I, I, I regret not either a guitar or drums.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, people will say there's no, there's no better time to start than now. I mean, we still do have time. I have my own Les Paul left-handed electric guitar, Do you really? Yeah, Trish was going to teach me because she's classically trained and all that stuff. She's like all right, well, let's go buy a guitar. So, instead of buying a $99 Yamaha fucking Fender Squire, I went top of the line and got me a less Paul, left-handed, less Paul, and it just collects dust.
Speaker 4:That's too bad, cav. Yeah, see, I couldn't even have the guitar because, again, my obsession yeah, that's like all I would do. You'd be like, hey, dude, what are we going to do this week on the podcast?
Speaker 3:I'm like fuck you, man. I'm doing smoke on the water. That's an easy one to play. That's one of the first ones you learn. I know that. One Iron man and what's the Chicago song?
Speaker 4:25 or 624.
Speaker 3:Yeah, 25 or 624. Those are the three early ones that you learn, but dude you want to play Stairway?
Speaker 5:Hey, you learn but you want to play stairway, hey, no?
Speaker 4:stairway denied. I gotta, I gotta admit. Uh, one of the reasons like I was like, hey, why don't you live in houston? Is your wife can shred. Yeah, and I probably would like buy a. Come over and say, trish, I don't give a fuck what you're doing. For the next few hours You're going to teach me how to play guitar and she would immediately go. Why did we move back here?
Speaker 3:No, she'd be able to do it and I believe that she would help you more than she would help me, because, number one, I'm not patient. Number two, I play left-handed. She plays regular right-handed.
Speaker 4:That's annoying.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:That's annoying. It's like with Jonas with golf he's a lefty. Oh really, I just didn't know what to tell him.
Speaker 3:Well, you could tell him what my grandpa told me You're going to play fucking right or you're not going to play at all.
Speaker 4:Phil Mickelson is a natural right-hander but he went to left hand because he would just mirror what his dad was doing.
Speaker 4:There you go, it would stand next to each other and he would just do the same thing with his left, which was brilliant, I mean, cause if it's, if you're right arm dominant and that's your lead arm, that that that's actually the way to do it. If I had to do it all over again, I would have been a lefty. I wish I would have like taken, you know, the typing and keyboarding class more seriously, cause I never really learned how to properly type and keyboard and I've had so many ideas and scripts and screenplays and everything, even books and novels, in my head that I haven't been able to get out on paper until now with the whole audio to you know, audio to text. So I mean I remember the class. I mean I sat right in between two beautiful women I mean beautiful women One to the right, one to the left, and I was so distracted. Yeah, if you really look at it, my entire downfall in my life has been a beautiful woman and my weakness for them dating all the way back to high school.
Speaker 4:Oh, even even before then, man, even before that, I was just an idiot, just absolutely an idiot. So I wish I would have, I wish I knew that. But now, with audio to text, I really don't need to. Oh, I get it. Um, and my third one is car engine work oh, that's a good one. Save yourself a lot of money yeah, I would just love to like rebuild a 68 chevelle or something like that oh, that's a beautiful car.
Speaker 3:God, is that a car? That's a muscle car.
Speaker 4:Put one up there, an American muscle car right there. 68, 69, chevy Chevelle, are you kidding me? Look at that fucking thing right there, god.
Speaker 3:Yeah, when I was 16, the guy across the street from us used to tinker with cars and he refurbished a 1969 Chevelle Supersport and it was black with a gold stripes down the hood and he would sell. He was going to sell it to my me for $3,500. My dad said no, no, now that thing will be worth a pretty penny. Oh my.
Speaker 4:God, kevin Kline, wouldn't that be great?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love that car.
Speaker 4:Yeah, someday, someday, someone will get me one of those.
Speaker 3:Are you going to work on it yourself? You could YouTube it Again.
Speaker 4:I can't. Yeah, that's an extensive YouTube. It's a 48-hour file. I guess you could break it down piece to piece. Sure you can. Piece by piece.
Speaker 4:Yeah, who knows? But I, you could break it down piece to piece, you know, piece by piece. Yeah, yeah, who knows? But I wish I would. I wish I've known more, I wish I would have you know, cared more about you know opening up the hood of a vehicle and knowing what the fuck is, what yeah well, you'd be able to save yourself a lot of money, as we, as we already said, yeah, yeah, um kev, what's this about you?
Speaker 4:um, you were, uh you're talking about. Uh, something happened in houston because of the flooding or whatever power lines down. Kind of jumped in your head what's going on there yeah, uh, so it was.
Speaker 3:Uh. The fox 26 has done a new story on this. Uh, khou has, and the houston chronicle has written about it. Uh, two tuesdays ago well, may 25th, I guess it was one Tuesday ago. Excuse me, my concert buddy, morgan Winters. She and I have known each other since I spoke at a suicide prevention rally when she was 18 years old and this was in 2000, 2011, and her son and mother were electrocuted by a downed power line in Willis. It's all over the news. As a matter of fact, here's a little bit of Jonathan Mejia's story on Fox 26.
Speaker 2:After. Tuesday's storm left downed power lines and trees. It was her son and mother who fell victim to severe burns.
Speaker 7:My son suffers about 18% of his body is covered in second-degree burns, whereas my mom over 55% of her body is covered in second and third-degree burns.
Speaker 2:Her mother remains in the ICU while her son has undergone surgery to clean his wounds and have skin graft. It's a hard process to live through, but also to explain to a six-year-old.
Speaker 7:His body hurts. He doesn't understand why doctors are having to come in every day and change his bandages. What?
Speaker 4:exactly happened.
Speaker 3:Well, I don't know, and all I know is that a neighbor came in contact with a downed power line and he was in bad, bad shape, and I don't know if they went over to try and help him or if they touched something that was also in contact. I don't know. I don't know. They haven't released that information, but yeah, it was a downed power line that they didn't see or didn't know it was live.
Speaker 4:Yeah, obviously, kevin, you know that's it's something that's such a freak occurrence and an unusual thing, but it can happen. I just don't think there's like a go-to public knowledge about what to do in these situations. I mean, we know when we're being chased by an alligator, we run in a zigzag pattern by an alligator. We run in a zigzag pattern, you know we. We know when you know this, you know, uh, animal, woodlands creature, we bow up, or we. You know we scream and get loud and try to scare them or whatever. We don't know really what to do if you're walking outside due to a weather condition or whatever. Um, if there there's a power line thing first off, how do you know it's a power line thing First off? How do you know it's a power line? I mean, you obviously know this stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, you know it's a power line because they're normally overhead and if you see one on the ground, you have to assume that it is still live. Now, you assume that it's still live. These normally happen during water-related events. We know that water is a current. For electricity, it's still live. These normally happen during water related events. We know that water is a current. For electricity, it's a carrier. So the best thing to do is just stay where you are. If you're in the house, if you're in a car, stay where you are, call the authorities and let them know. Hey, we have a downed power line. Do not go near it, do not touch it. Do not touch anything that it is in contact with, be it a tree, be it the ground, be it water puddle, don't touch it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and then just tell everybody that may go close. You know, look out the window and go stay away from that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, exactly, that's where you could be the sheriff. That's where you could be the nosy sheriff saving people's lives. So right, yeah, does it have a crackle sound? I mean I, I can remember seeing a down power line one time years ago and I just remember that there's a bunch of power lines, not just.
Speaker 4:I thought there was and I knew right then I you know, just my natural tendency was, hey, I'm gonna stay the fuck away from that. Yeah.
Speaker 3:That ain't natural.
Speaker 4:That doesn't sound like it would do me any good if I got any closer.
Speaker 3:Not at all, not at all. I'm going to walk this way. Yeah, so they've set up a GoFundMe and, uh yeah, morgan is obviously as distraught as you would imagine. Oh totally yeah. So she's got her mom in ICU and her son just got moved up to the pediatric floor at the hospital they're at in Houston and she still has to work. So she goes to work, comes down to the hospital, spends the night down there. It's just. It's such a sad situation.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and you're distraught too, because I mean you've got nobody to go to concerts with right now, because she's obviously not going to go to any concerts.
Speaker 3:No, she's not joining me for any death metal concerts.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you need a new. Do you want to solicit right now for a new death metal concert, buddy or something like that?
Speaker 3:Well, I was hoping you'd step in.
Speaker 4:I got that thing. Oh, you do.
Speaker 3:You know, yeah, well, you, I got that thing. Oh, you do you know? Yeah, well, you know, hey, being my concert buddy is not such a bad thing you get free concert tickets because I pay for them.
Speaker 4:You pay for the tickets, yeah, and I'm gonna need four drinks and a t-shirt, oh, and a t-shirt oh wow, do we have t-shirt?
Speaker 3:Oh wow.
Speaker 4:Do we have?
Speaker 3:a deal. So now I am auditioning for new concert buddies who are a little bit cheaper.
Speaker 4:Hey, Kev, I was walking to my trash can a couple of weeks ago, Okay, and I didn't know that this was still a thing and I don't understand it and maybe somebody can explain it to me. But I had one of those clear plastic trash bags and I guess I didn't even notice it. But a neighbor did and came over to me and said hey, I noticed you have an In-N-Out Burger wrapper that I can see in your trash right there. Why are you going to In-N-Out Burger?
Speaker 2:Why don't you? Well, that's what I was saying. I was like well, what are you going to? In-n-out Burger? Why don't you?
Speaker 4:Well, that's what I was saying. I was like, well, what are you talking about? And he's like I mean you're about as Texan as I can imagine Tuttle. I mean, when I think Texas, you know Tuttle. When I think Tuttle, I think Texas. Why are you not eating Whataburger? And I was like I eat water burger too. I enjoy their jalapeno. You know very, very good burger. I like that too. And for some reason there's this if you do not have water burger and have in and out and I guess five guys is under that umbrella too you know, because that's an out-of-state burger that you are not being true to the Republic of Texas.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you just hit the nail on the head. They're out-of-state burgers. I mean, there is nothing more as far as fast food burgers go, there is nothing more Texas than Whataburger. Okay, there's nothing more California than In-N-Out Burger Atlanta five guys. So yeah, it's very state-centric.
Speaker 4:I don't get that. It doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, they're all delicious burgers. I mean I would punch a baby in the face to get one of any of them.
Speaker 3:Wow, punch a baby in the face. They're delicious. That's how good they are.
Speaker 4:By the way, I was joking right there. I would never punch a baby in the face. Yes, I could already see the hypersensitive type.
Speaker 3:No, I was joking he knows he would be in and out of jail. Yes, exactly, not just the burger I would absolutely care.
Speaker 4:Seriously, though, if you look at those three burgers are so good and so juicy I would literally choke a puppy oh, puppies now people get so. People get so outraged over words yeah, he's not serious yeah, you'll have kev.
Speaker 3:You'll have to run a you know something after this saying no puppies were choked or babies punched during this episode or the views and opinions expressed by Mr Tuttle are not the views and opinions expressed by Tuttle and Klein.
Speaker 4:Well, that should be in every episode.
Speaker 3:I don't know why you haven't done that now, because you know when, when they, when they start rounding people up for the rehabilitation and re-education camps you're on the list now because of me, sorry, uh, if they're, if they're willing to teach me things I don't already know, maybe I'll just sign up. Do they have a t-shirt? Exactly it? Will there be death metal concerts?
Speaker 4:no, but I, I seriously, oh, yeah, I, we, why we only do that with burgers too. You know, it's kind of like that whole concept of, uh, you know, I, I, you know I only watch, you know, like the rock, duane johnson movies. That's the only movies I watch you know? No, you're missing out on a lot of other great ones with still a lot of movies, because he's in every other movie. But you know, people like ryan reynolds are making great movies too.
Speaker 3:You know, you know I know yeah, so I I just don't understand that it goes back to what we were talking about earlier. You either like the Beatles or you like Elvis, and if you like one, you can't like the other. It's bullshit. I like them both.
Speaker 4:Exactly. It's okay to like them both. You know you could listen to me. You could be born in our great public state of Texas. You know you could be one of those people with the sticker that says native Texas. You've seen that sticker before.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 4:Where they're celebrating the zip code of where their mom's womb was when they were born. Yeah, and you know, your last name could be Houston. Your last name could be Crockett. Whatever, it's okay to eat an In-N-Out burger. It's okay.
Speaker 3:Well, and the other thing that you could have just said was it was a one-time thing. Everybody's been raving about it. I had to try it just to see how it compares to Whataburger. No comparison, no, you could have done that.
Speaker 4:Kev. Actually I like the in and out burger. It's not as good. Five guys is a better burger, though five guys is the best burger what makes it, what makes it better?
Speaker 3:I don't know oh, I don't I don't know, I don't know what it is, I just, I just the five guys is my favorite burger the best fast food burger I ever had and I don't even know if they make it anymore was the hatch chili burger from whataburger freaking that's a great, I love that one kev and I love whataburger too.
Speaker 4:I, I I literally have this feeling that that so many of our podcast listeners and viewers just are like what are you talking? It's all about, uh, water burger.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love water burger but I like other stuff too. It's okay to like other stuff. You know how you expand your knowledge.
Speaker 4:That's how you expand your, your palate yeah, I mean, I like mint chocolate chip ice cream, but I'll also have some butter pecan.
Speaker 3:You know, I know yes. Okay. I'm the same way I have favorites, but I'll expand every once in a while, exactly.
Speaker 4:Thank you.
Speaker 3:You're very welcome, sir, we have.
Speaker 4:We have Whataburger here in in Springfield now and see that's a thing, too, is like you're so Texas centric with the Whataburger they're. They're not, as you know, Texas centric as they used to be. They're all over the place now.
Speaker 3:Exactly right. Exactly right, the ones in Missouri. 90 percent of them are owned by Patrick Mahomes, are they really? Yeah, well, that was his favorite place to eat when he was a Texas Tech Red Raider, and he's now five hundred million dollars net worth. And he's now $500 million net worth. And he's diversified his portfolio and he's become a majority owner in all of the Warner Burgers in Missouri.
Speaker 4:Now Kev. That would lead a lot of people watching this podcast or listening to this podcast to think well, they probably only give franchises to people with Texas roots.
Speaker 3:That could very well be. I don't know. That could be. Yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I would like to apply for some franchises and for some Whataburger. All right, you ready for your Texas test, son? Just how Texas are you, that's right?
Speaker 3:You sound like one of them camifornians camifornians, well, you know. And also, though, I can buy whataburger ketchup at walmart now exactly anywhere in the country I buy the spicy ketchup, so it's the best.
Speaker 4:Yeah, buddy, I even put that on my chicken sometimes I put that on everything, do you?
Speaker 1:yes, I do, it's the best. Yeah, buddy, I even put that on my chicken sometimes I put that on everything, do you?
Speaker 4:Yes, I do. It's that damn good.
Speaker 3:It is good.
Speaker 4:And I know that the label says, you know, for your fries or your, your burgers or whatever, but I'm just like I put it on my chicken.
Speaker 3:And if you have a Whataburger spicy ketchup police force, I mean I'd imagine they're going to knock down the door sometime and bust me for that, but until then it's going right on the chicken buddy until then.
Speaker 4:He's a rebel. Exactly, he's a rebel. He eats five guys and in and out burger and put spicy ketchup on his chicken.
Speaker 3:He's so crazy.
Speaker 4:We better watch this guy, yes indeed. All right, Kevin Kline, this has been a blast. Do we have anything else going on?
Speaker 3:No, I don't believe we do have anything else going on. When do you start shooting your TV show?
Speaker 4:It's been backed up a little bit. Everything is by ear now, okay, so I'll let you know, okay. Okay, there's been some production issues. What do you have on this week's Fuzzy Mike podcast? You alluded to it earlier.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we basically talked about it already, but it's about my new diagnosis of imposter syndrome. And then we talk about the Grayson Murray suicide, Stan Van Gundy's wife Kim's suicide and we go into depth for suicide rates, back all the way to 1900. Not a very entertaining episode, but Trish watched it last night and she said it is very enlightening.
Speaker 4:You have imposter syndrome. Yeah. So that's where you feel like you don't deserve what has happened for you or to you.
Speaker 3:Basically, the layman's breakdown of it is all external measurements of success have been met internally. You feel like you're a fraud. I know, I know exactly where where it started from. I know I can trace it to the exact, uh, the exact moment. And yeah, no, I I talk about I would love to get back into radio. I don't think I'm good enough anymore. Why do you say that? Cause I've been out too long. Don't know. Don't know if I'd be good enough.
Speaker 4:Dude radio is riding a bike man.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:If you heard some of the talent out there now, you'd be like, oh really.
Speaker 3:Oh no, I have. I've heard some of the talent out there now and, yeah, no, it's a, it's a. It's a sad state of affairs in the radio industry across America right now. But I'd also like to do something special for my 55th birthday. I'd like to do a special run. I'm about 10% committed, which means I won't do it, and I'm 100% positive that if I did try to do it, I wouldn't complete it. So that's imposter syndrome.
Speaker 4:Do they have a pill for that one?
Speaker 3:No, they don't. It's called therapy. I gotcha yeah yeah, I gotcha.
Speaker 4:Let me tell you this, kev. Just like Chevy Chase once said, and it applies to you too- you're a tremendous slouch don't, I know it.
Speaker 3:Alright, man, what are you doing this week?
Speaker 4:I don't want to say anything right now. What are you doing? What are you doing this week? What are you doing this week? I don't want to say anything right now, but I will give you an update, if it happens, on our next episode. How's that?
Speaker 3:Okay, all right. Did you qualify for the US Open?
Speaker 4:I did not qualify for the US Open. Wouldn't that be great.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, dude, dude. How about that 15-year year old girl at the women's US Open?
Speaker 4:It's unbelievable man.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God.
Speaker 4:It's. I was thinking about that over the weekend. I'm just like when I was 15 years old, I didn't even have the psyche to do anything near that. You know what I'm saying. Oh, I know. Yeah, that kind of pressure, that kind of crowd, that kind of attention or something. I would have just been a jackboot, an idiot in front of the camera and everything like that. These, these, these people are cut from a different jib man.
Speaker 3:I know, I know you're you're ready to wrap this up, but I I, now that we bring it up, let me ask you this question Okay, what, what entity, what spirit do you think is behind the perfection of this girl? I say that she's 15. She was in contention after two rounds for the US Women's Open. She's cute and she has a very, very marketable name. Her name is Asterisk Talley. Can you imagine the first time she wins a major. Put an asterisk by it? There's. Imagine the first time she wins a major. Put an asterisk by it.
Speaker 4:There's all kinds of slogans, yeah.
Speaker 3:But where does that perfect combination come from?
Speaker 4:you know, Sometimes the stars align man.
Speaker 3:Isn't that right?
Speaker 4:I mean, look at Tiger Woods. I mean that's a great name too and the story's great. He's half black, he's half asian, you know I mean just sometimes, just everything just works out.
Speaker 3:The universe just says we're gonna, we're gonna sprinkle a little pixie dust on this right here I, I think it happened for you and I, I honestly do totally, yeah, yeah, totally so, but it's just it. It's such a perfect storm of success, you know yeah now you got.
Speaker 4:The thing you got to watch out for is is can she continue it?
Speaker 3:because we we've heard these stories of these these uh uber kids before and they fizzled out I know I in reading articles and listening to interviews with her, I think she does have the stuff. Now that you've finished your first US, Women's Open. How awesome has this entire experience been.
Speaker 6:It's crazy. Nothing like I imagined before. You know, I imagine it being like super fun, but it was even better than I thought. You know, even with the bad around in there, I still have the time of my life yesterday and today and it was still such a fun week.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, she'll be interesting to watch really will be.
Speaker 4:Yep, all right, brother. Uh, hey, make sure you like, follow, download, subscribe, give us a rating. Check out our merch. It's so cool. Look at the color coordination, the logos on our merch right there. Please buy our stuff. Go to the Tuttle and Klein Facebook and Kevin Klein, you have yourself an outstanding week. You do the same buddy and I will see you have yourself an outstanding week you do the same buddy. And I will see you next week.
Speaker 1:That's it for this episode of the Tuttle Klein Show. See you this Wednesday for an all new episode. Also, you can catch Tuttle on TV. He is a handsome man, and you can get more Klein on his podcast, the Fuzzy Mike, with new episodes on Tuesday. Stay fuzzy, friends, and thanks for listening to the Tuttle Cline Show. Yo, all right, take the yo out.
