Tuttle & Kline
Award winning morning radio partners for 25+ years, Tim Tuttle and Kevin Kline share stories and insights through organic conversation and natural humor.
Tuttle & Kline
Ep #9: Embracing Fate, Family, and Comedy with Tuttle & Kline
Join us this week for a roller coaster of musings, from the uncanny "Tuttle and Kline curse" where our idle chatter seems to predict everything from show cancellations to celebrity passings, to the touching moment Tuttle shared with Fred Goldman, father of Ron Goldman. We navigate through the complexities of existence and human connections, embracing the humor and gravity of our shared journey.
Thank you to our sponsor: Air Innovations
https://www.airinnovationsllc.com/
Life's unpredictability serves as the canvas to our latest episode, where we candidly discuss everything from the trials of aging to the costs and joys of raising kids. We even venture into the spiritual realms, comparing notes on our individualistic takes on Buddhism, and share a laugh over the universal annoyance of that unrequested U2 album on our Apple devices. We even get a surprise visit from Col. Todd Tuttle from the Appalachian Trail as he hikes it for Warrior Expeditions.
Rounding out our eclectic conversation, we tackle the lighter side of life's profound questions, such as debating the most valued non-vital body parts. We also celebrate the healing aspects of creativity, from Tuttle's leap into stand-up comedy to Kline's mental health struggles.
Welcome to the Tuttle and Klein show.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, it's Kevin Klein on my screen.
Speaker 3:What's going on? Not much buddy. Hey, how'd the Strohs do against the Rangers? You're wearing an Astros shirt.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're actually on the comeback trail a little bit. Okay, a little bit Comeback trail a little bit. So rough start. I mean it's all pitching bro.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this time of year it is.
Speaker 2:It's all pitching, it's our bullpen and you know we don't have any starters left. Everything's decimated. So they're looking for some good arms, Kev.
Speaker 3:Are you available?
Speaker 2:I can be coaxed out of retirement if the price is right. What would that price be? $142 and a couple of hot dogs.
Speaker 3:They can do it. That'll keep them under the luxury tax.
Speaker 2:Astros, if you need a 72 mile an hour fastball, I'm your guy. Yeah, kev, I had that thing in the low 90s back in the day and I don't know if you remember when we did the contest to give away the World Series tickets, we had fastest pitch and we had some guys out there come clock the mid-90s but I really whipped it as hard as I could. It was like 74 miles an hour. I'm like what.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the thing where, if you're not constantly on top of it and practicing and using it, you lose it fast. Then I go into sad, demented glory days. Guy, I'm trying to tell everybody to listen. I used to be a flamethrower.
Speaker 3:I used to be the guy. But here's the thing, and people always rip on glory days. People, you had the glory days. There's a lot of people that don't have glory days.
Speaker 2:That's true, had my moment in the sun. There you go. Kevin Kline, are you like freaked out? The way I'm freaked out? The Tuttle and Kline curse has continued, for those of you unaware, last week, one week ago today, when we were recording episode number eight it was Monday, the day before OJ Simpson died. We were actually recording a segment involving him, 30-year anniversary of the killings, and we had probably about a good 20, 25 minutes about OJ on that segment and the people who heard it were freaking out. They're going. Oh my God. I just listened to this and I just learned that OJ died at like the same time.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah we have been the cause of many a death.
Speaker 2:Many a death, many a show canceled. I mean, I'm so sorry. I know a lot of you love the gambler, so do I, uh, but like two weeks after kenny rogers was in studio with us, he died yeah, yeah, who was the?
Speaker 3:who was the interview that we were doing? That was the television personality and they got the call right in the middle of the interview that their show got canceled I forget his name.
Speaker 2:It was evan. His first name was ev. I forget his last name. He ended up being on California-cation with David Duchovny. Okay, the bald guy a bald guy named Evan, but he's all excited about the show and everything like that. They've had a few episodes and he's gotten some good feedback and everything like that and he puts us on hold because he's got a call. Hey, it's important, guys. This is my agent. I've been waiting for this call and he gets back out of there. He goes oh well, I guess I don't need to talk to you guys anymore because the show's been canceled that was the fastest death that we've ever caused.
Speaker 2:It was right in the middle of the interview yeah, and then, of course, kev the parallelism of September 11, 9-11. Oh yeah, an hour before the first plane went into the World Trade Center, kevin Kline and I were on the air, and our topic at the time was top three people you know are going to hell. Yep.
Speaker 2:And somebody called in and said you know I don't know if you've heard of this guy he's been responsible for some nasty terrorism throughout the world. His name is Osama bin Laden and you know, I had a vague memory of him from some news stories, you know, three or four years prior, to some of the stuff that he was involved with, but it was just so weird. And then, 45 minutes to an hour later, we get that electric glitch because we were networked into New York City, also our computer systems in our studio in Nashville, and then our news people are running up and down the halls and everything like that, and it ended up being Osama bin Laden along with the CIA in Saudi Arabia, along with the CIA in Saudi Arabia.
Speaker 3:Ah okay, so yeah. But bin Laden was? You know, he was one of the masterminds of 9-11, september 11, 2001. And we were the first ones to actually declare it a terrorist attack.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kevin had that clunky. I think, when it's all said and done, you'll find this is the handiwork of one, hans Gruber, the diehard guy.
Speaker 3:And you remember the line. See, that's how effective the line was.
Speaker 2:I remember the line because there were some people that were outraged and were trying to get you fired for saying that. And I'm just like why that's a great line man.
Speaker 3:At the time we didn't know the severity.
Speaker 2:We had heard that a plane had gone into the world trade center and initially they weren't even sure it was an airliner that could have been. You know, it could have been a cessna could have been a cessna. The guy got disoriented or whatever and hit it so we didn't know when kevin said that. So people, people like to use that to uh exercise agendas and there were some people there that didn't like our early, very early and quick success we were having at the new station in Birmingham there.
Speaker 3:But you know, what's funny is now that we have the podcast and we do have a lot of Birmingham listeners. So hello to Birmingham. We get a lot of great feedback from Birmingham still yeah, yeah Well that that that was a.
Speaker 2:That was a very uh fun show. I mean not quite as Tallahassee was unbelievable as an all talk show. Yeah. Yeah, we, we just I mean tell it we did every anything we wanted to do in Tallahassee and you know, and got away with it.
Speaker 3:In Tallahassee we had a boss named Scott Pettibone and they brought both of us in and we were playing three songs an hour. And after the third day we go into Pettibone's office and he says no more music tomorrow. We're like what are you talking about? He's like you're going, I'll talk the music's getting in your way. No boss ever says that.
Speaker 2:I was like wow, dude are we ready for this?
Speaker 3:Yeah, you are.
Speaker 2:Did you ever think what could it, what might've happened if? Cause? You know, when we got the offer in Birmingham, pettibone was scrambling. He's like hey guys, I'm working, I'm working on a situation here. You may be able to stay with us. You know clear channel, we'll put you in Miami and you'll satellite out to all of our Southeastern you know alternative rock markets and stuff. Did you ever think what would happen? If you know we grew up in Miami. You know kids are my kids grew up in Miami instead of Birmingham.
Speaker 3:I've never thought about that, and I'm actually going through a situation right now with my voiceover work, that somebody wants me to cut my rate in half because the promise of future work. Well, you know what? There is no promise of future work.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:Yeah and so no. I always say if there's an opportunity in front of you and you like it, take it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I, you're right, you're right. Bird in the hand man. Yep. But but when, when we saw the news I I heard that the juice was struggling a little bit. He, I heard a few years ago that he was diagnosed, but I didn't, I didn't, I didn't have any idea. It was the struggle, it was, nobody knew.
Speaker 3:Well, two weeks before he died, he did that Twitter, that tweet that we posted on our last episode, hey let me take a moment to say thank you to all the people who reached out to me.
Speaker 5:My health is good. I mean, obviously I'm dealing with some issues, but hey, I think I'm just about over it and I'll be uh back on that golf course, hopefully in a couple of weeks well, I think that was the super, I think it was two months, was it okay?
Speaker 2:two months, two months okay and then and then he disappeared. I guess that that's what happened and I don't you know, and I'm sure he was. Him and his family were trying to keep that on under wraps. The last thing you want is you know people doing an end zone dance because you're dying there were quite a few people that have done that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, one of them was not ron. Uh was not fred goldman, though. No, you know he didn't. He didn't spit on the grave or anything. You know he still wants his money that he's owed yeah, yeah, but I, I kev, I uh.
Speaker 2:The first thing I thought when he died is something that always pops into my head when people who are murderers die like do the people you kill get a chance to confront you after you're gone? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Well, that is an interesting question, and I would say that it depends on your religion. But if there is a heaven and a hell, you would never interact with that person again, because thou shalt not kill is one of the 10. And if you kill, you're going to hell.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but what if part of God's program is to soothe the souls whose lives ended sooner than expected? They had a chance to confront them? Say, ron Goldman is like oh, oh, motherfucker, I've been waiting for this. Yeah, I'm gonna kick your ass. You don't have a knife now, do you? Huh, you don't have no knife now, do you? Now I get down in my martial arts shit, I'm gonna fuck you up. Oj, because I'm still 25. And look at you, you're 76, mother, you know you know I'm saying, I know what you're saying.
Speaker 3:I know what you're saying and I've always found this interesting about the, the and I was raised catholic, as were you. Uh, you know, the bible's an eye for an eye, but then in the next breath they say well, god's not vengeful. Well, what they make up your mind, you know, is he taking an eye for an eye or is he just exactly?
Speaker 2:there's always, you know, some cross cross there's gray area that I don't know, exactly, exactly. But you know, I, I got. You know others, you know, like serial killers, you know, if they were confronted by the people they kill, I mean that could take forever for some of these nutbags, you know dude, can you imagine 33 boys and men waiting for gacy?
Speaker 3:you have no chance?
Speaker 2:oh, totally. Or you know, like vinch foster and ron brown waiting for the clintons okay, all right.
Speaker 3:Well, you're rattling sabers early today okay, these are I've.
Speaker 2:I've been inspired by Norm MacDonald. Yes because I just watched when he was on the View. Oh my God, when he when he was telling him the murderers he killed Vince Foster and Barbara Walters. She's an establishment propagandist. She's freaking out man.
Speaker 3:You can't say that he got banned from the View because of that. And I remember. I remember when I don't know if it was Barbara Walters or Joy Behar that said you're supposed to be funny. And when I heard that I thought well, aren't you too? Because I've never found Joy Behar funny.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, they hired her to be the comedian.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And she ends up being one of the top propagandists.
Speaker 3:Here's a clip of Norm on the View.
Speaker 6:You like George Bush? Don't. Here's a clip of norm on the view. You like george bush? I love george bush man. He's a good man, decent. You know none of this. Yeah, he's uh, you know he's not a, a liar, a crook murderer or anything like that. So it'd be good to get the. See, I I don't. I think we should get the homicide out of the white house and get like a a fresh start, because we don't want any more murderers. I think we should just go on to the next question who?
Speaker 3:are the murderers.
Speaker 6:Oh Clinton, he murdered a guy.
Speaker 3:You're not allowed to put out accusations without proof, Charlie. That's a little too far.
Speaker 6:Let's just go on to the next question.
Speaker 3:Dude, he took no prisoners.
Speaker 2:That day, he just didn't care.
Speaker 3:He never did.
Speaker 2:And that got him fired from Weekend Update. Man, he didn't care and he knew that the president Ohlmeyer of NBC was friends with OJ Simpson and he still just continued to rattle his cage.
Speaker 6:Rattle his cage, rattle his cage. So in his book, oj Simpson says that he would have taken a bullet or stood in front of a train for Nicole man. I'm going to tell you that is some bad luck when the one guy who would have died for you kills you. That's probably. You don't get worse luck than that.
Speaker 3:Speaking of Weekend Update. Did you see the joke they did about OJ's death?
Speaker 2:No, what did they do, oj Simpson?
Speaker 4:died this week at the age of 76, after a battle with prostate cancer that was planted on him by the LAPD.
Speaker 2:That is funny, yeah. Good line man, yeah great line. Or this press conference with a group of lawyers representing the cancer just going. Hey, we don't want anybody to jump to conclusions here. We think our client may be innocent. Then why is prostate cancer on the 405 in California and White Bronco in California? And white.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I saw the clip you were talking about. I don't see you. You were already gone in November of 2021 from the station, so you may not know this interesting run in that I had at at a Bush intercontinental airport international or whatever Intercontinental.
Speaker 3:Yeah, tell me about it, because I'm unaware of this.
Speaker 2:Well, it's November of 2021.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I left. February 12th of 2021 was my last day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was at Bush waiting on a flight where I was going to fly up to Lubbock. It was Audrey's last game, or senior game, or something like that. I can't remember her last game at Texas tech or volleyball match and I saw somebody that that looks familiar to me and I just couldn't place it. So I so I walked over to him. You know, I, I just had to find out. You know me, I can't, I can't go without knowing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you got to cure the curiosity.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I walked up to him and I said, sir, I can't place it, but you look so familiar to me. You know, I thought it was maybe like a promoter of concerts in Houston or something like that. I just couldn't place him, but he looked so familiar and I could tell I was annoying him. So I thought, well, you know, just one more time. You just you look, you know what he said.
Speaker 3:What did he say?
Speaker 2:He goes I'm Fred Goldman. No way OJ Simpson butchered my son. He said that and I am all freaked out on the inside man. I'm like, oh dude, why didn't I get that man? Why didn't I get that? So I'm trying to save the situation, yeah what do you? Say so I said to him. I said no, no, that's not who you remind me of. I was thinking Raleigh Fingers yes, the former baseball pitcher.
Speaker 3:Look at this side-by-side right here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, put it side by side. But I was just trying to. I was trying to rescue it.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, that's what you do.
Speaker 2:And then there was a. He looked at me funny, he had a weird pause and suddenly Kevin, I'm not kidding, it's like he had not laughed since 1994. He burst out into laughter and thought that was the funniest shit ever. Wow, yeah ever Wow. Yeah, I mean he's like, oh my God, that's a leg. He realized I was kidding and uh, and him and I had a nice six seven minute chat while we were both waiting on our planes.
Speaker 2:You know, I, I, I told him. I said you know your son, ron. I mean I hit close home to me. Your son Rod's my age. We were born same year. We were both 25 at the time. And the situation kind of freaked me out, Fred, because before I was with the woman I'm with now, I was with Kathy when the whole incident happened. But a year before I was seeing as a 25-year-old, I was seeing the ex of a big-time Tennessee football player, his ex, and who was 30, she was 35. I was 25, 35, same as like Ron and Nicole, and he saw me a couple of times and just shot me the hate look, kev, I can see why. And it made me think to myself wow, that could have gone, OJ you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:Right, because I was cocky, I was 25. I'm like, you know, I made me think to myself wow, that could have gone. Oj, you know what I'm saying? Right, that could. Because you know, I just didn't, I was cocky, I was 25. I'm like fuck you dude, fuck you man. You were after yeah, you left. I was thinking it.
Speaker 3:Right, I know, but I'm just saying you were cocky.
Speaker 2:I went to she was beautiful. I mean, she looked like Jacqueline Smith tan. She was beautiful. I just and I kind of broke her heart. I, I, she, she was like, oh, we'll, we'll make beautiful babies together and all that stuff. And I'm like you know, you have two kids already. I'm only 25, you're 35. I just wasn't in that mode. Sure, you know what I'm saying. I feel bad for that and you know I kind of kind of broke it, but know it reminded me of that that you just never know You're in the wrong place at the wrong time. You know, and you know about the story, about you know, when I was at Tumbleweed Texas, one night and there was a former Marine sitting in his truck, he said he was going to shoot me and kill me.
Speaker 3:I remember that too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because his wife, his estranged wife, was trying to piss him off and she said to him I'm having an affair with Tim Tuttle. You know, I see him all the time at Tumbleweed. I couldn't pick this woman out from a lineup. I don't even know her. I don't even remember even ever meeting her. She just randomly used me to piss him off.
Speaker 3:Thanks for that.
Speaker 2:And he even. He approached me. We ended up being friends later.
Speaker 3:I remember that. Yes, I do remember that.
Speaker 2:Great guy. I mean we end up being a great guy. But he told me. He said I was, I saw you. I saw you as you're walking out of Tumbleweed Texas. One night you were walking to your truck. I was right there, he said. He said you know.
Speaker 3:I slammed it back. I was ready to kill you. It's strange how a lot of people turn out great when they don't kill you yeah yeah, great guy, he didn't kill me.
Speaker 2:I like it much much better that way, when, when they make the decision, they're not going to kill me. That's, that's really cool, you? Yep, we can bond over that yeah, we can that, just you know, goes to show you. You just never know, man, you just never know.
Speaker 3:Nope, Nope. I mean you're sitting there minding your own business and you're getting caught in the fray that you have no idea. You're even in.
Speaker 2:I don't. Still, to this day, I don't know who she is. I couldn't pick her out of a lineup, but yet her words to her husband could have killed me, boom Scary. Words to her husband could have killed me, boom scary.
Speaker 3:Then I'd be waiting on the other side for him to pass away, and I'd just be like mom?
Speaker 2:yeah, of course you would. Yeah, where, where's your? Where's your nine now, motherfucker? Uh, kev, yeah, let me tell you this. We are starting to heat up pretty big here in Houston. We've had several days low 80s. Our good friends at Air Innovations. They are standing by to make sure you are ready for this summer. These are good people. Air Innovations has been taking care of Houstonians since 2005. And, kev, they're part of the Cougar 100 business group.
Speaker 3:That's a big deal because you think about all of the alumni that have graduated from the University of Houston and all of those alumni that have gone into business for themselves and they are one of the top 100 alumni businesses. That's crazy. That's so cool.
Speaker 2:And they did it the right way. They did it taking care of the customer, not profiteering off of people's misery. They always want to give you a fair deal. When there's something going wrong with the HVAC, their first thought, their first thing is how can I fix what's in there now without having to replace the unit? To save them some money.
Speaker 3:And I like that they're 24-7.
Speaker 2:And they're available 24-7. Some money and I like that they're 24, 7 and they're available 24. So I can't you know. The worst thing is if your uh ac unit peters out at like 9, 37 pm and you know tomorrow is going to be 102 degrees, that is. That's scary man that's scary about it.
Speaker 2:fortunately for you, you can dial the number that's right on our screen right right now, underneath their logo, and they're available 24 seven. They'll have a tech out there to take care of you. It's what they do and they're phenomenal at it, and I love that they get that done. Or if you were right now, when you're turning your AC on and it doesn't seem as efficient as it should be, or if it's making a funny noise it's always better to be preemptive rather than reactive after the fact.
Speaker 3:Well, think about this If your AC unit is malfunctioning or, as you said, not performing the way it should, it's actually going to cost you more money in the long run because it's going to be running constantly, because it's not efficient enough. So that money you spend to get it fixed, it's going to save you in the long run.
Speaker 2:Exactly so make make the move. Air innovations, phone numbers right there. Kevin also puts the uh, the website uh, in the description so you can go click on that right now and make it happen. Uh, kev, yeah, I, I I was hearing I thought this was just a. You know me because I drank a lot of water, but I guess as you get a little bit older it becomes a thing for guys in general. I'm just curious because you know you and I are 14 months apart. We're same age.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yep.
Speaker 2:Um, how many times a night do you wake up to go to the bathroom?
Speaker 3:That depends, and it depends on how much I've drank the, you know, the day before that day. Um, lately I haven't been getting up at all, but there were times where I was getting like in the summertime I'll get up three times a night yeah yeah see, I'm, I'm.
Speaker 2:I'm three to five times a night, really. Yeah, I'm you, the. The last time I slept through the entire night was during GW's first administration. Yeah, that's a while ago, but but I drink a lot of water too, three to five times a night, yeah, and, and how are your streams?
Speaker 3:Like an Island.
Speaker 2:Islands in the stream. Oh, little Kenny Rogers, I see where you're going there, yeah.
Speaker 3:No, it's fine, Very potent, very powerful.
Speaker 2:I got see I have three streams now, three, yeah, I got Like they span out like that yeah, I got one that hooks right, always wants to go for the toilet paper roll. Yeah, and I got one that goes down the middle. It hasn't betrayed me yet. So I love the one, that one, and I have one that goes so hard left that this stream loves the borders being wide open and terrorists walking right into our country and walks with a swagger like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.
Speaker 3:That's a left stream, baby, that is a left stream. It's interesting. That's because you know urination for men is, it's all based on how strong your prostate is Right, yeah. And you know how you have a strong prostate, right, yeah, multiple ejaculations Right, yeah, yeah. And you know how you have a strong prostate, right, yeah, multiple ejaculations Right, I don't, I don't. And I'm pretty, you know, down the middle, like Scotty Scheffler, you multiple times a day, probably, or at least a week, and you got three. You got three things going on. I don't understand it. I don't get it.
Speaker 2:So are you saying that I need to ejaculate less? Is that what you're saying? No more.
Speaker 3:And I don't think it's possible based on what I know about you.
Speaker 2:Kev, when you said more, I could hear my dick saying no, he's kidding. No, good God, you're not 18 anymore. Stop it, you fucking maniac. Speaking of sleep, though, kev, you know this is a constant problem with me is I don't remember dreams. The other night I finally this is like the first dream in months that I remembered.
Speaker 3:We've talked about this before that you don't really remember them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's weird because it's a spinoff of a topic we've broached on on our podcast.
Speaker 3:Can't wait to hear.
Speaker 2:Do you remember when we were talking about? You know if I could go back in time and a time machine and talk to the 17 year old me? I do remember that. Um, it is so weird how, like this dream just picked up, you know, after we were done with that conversation. Picked up from that point, you know where, where he was basically telling me hey, I'm going to be, do it my way. Uh, older Tim Tuttle, you know, 17 year old me was saying that, right, you go back to 2024 and and and and, fuck off, you know I'm going to, I'm going to do it my way.
Speaker 2:But in this one, he, he actually, he actually like stopped me before I was going. It was so funny. He goes, he goes to the older me, I this is what I remember in the dream. He goes hey, uh, you and I both know we've watched back to the future a bunch of times. Are you going to spit out the winning team so I can make the bank? And you know me now is like you know, I know I don't want to alter your future. I don't. You're going to. You're going to end up having some amazing kids, you're going to love your children, and if I give you information that makes you a multimillionaire or billionaire. I mean that may not happen. And he's like, oh okay, well, tell me about the kids. So 17-year-old me is having this conversation about the kids and then he goes well, tell me about your wife that has the four kids. And I'm goes. Well, you tell me about your wife, you know, that has the four kids.
Speaker 2:And I'm like oh you know me now is like, oh, that's complicated, you know. So I'm walking him through all of that shit and he's like, wow, it seems like our future probably needs to be altered.
Speaker 3:And that's where I poofed out of the dream, right there, uh-huh, yeah, it's like 17 year old me had a one line and then bailed out.
Speaker 2:Easy to diagnose, though. Oh, you got this already very easy to diagnose.
Speaker 3:uh, in the conversation that we had on this topic, you went back and all he wanted to know was what are the lottery numbers? Who's going to win the NBA championship? How can I profit off of your knowledge? Okay, now, 17-year-old, you realizes and this is exactly what I appreciate about Tim Tuttle 2.0, or Tim Tuttle 24, 2024.0 is you're giving him the answers to life and he's accepting them, because this transformation that I've seen you go through since we've reconnected on on the podcast, it's shocking to me, you know, and that he's you're giving him the winning ticket to life, man.
Speaker 2:Are you saying you're shocked that I'm not as much of a dick as I used to be?
Speaker 3:No, how reflective you are, how introspective you are, how, actually, I think, at peace with yourself you are.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I'm in a great place mentally. I can tell I'm in a great place mentally, I can tell and you know, even with some stuff happening behind the scenes that's messing with me a little bit. You know what it is.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:I'm fine.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, everything's cool, everything's good, you know.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I appreciate that Cap Thanks.
Speaker 3:Yeah, sure, but that's what I think it's about. I think it's about you've become such a different person at your age now than you were at 17 that I think that 17-year-old in your dream that you're talking to actually realizes that, wow, I'm actually getting better than the lottery. I'm getting life lessons. Because lottery man I mean, yeah, it'd be great to win $ win 1.2 billion, but you can't take it with you but I, kevin.
Speaker 2:That being said, I, I gotta tell you to be honest, I will give the 17 year old me the information to make him that way. But you know, I, I'm in agreement that he still has to go to kathy. Okay, say, say, hey, you're you, I, we still. We need audrey and jonas. You know, uh-huh, I'm gonna pay you for those kids. And it goes to erica. We still need dallas and timmy. I'm gonna pay you for the kids. You know, okay, what was that? Yeah, cut them a deal, an offer. They can't refuse.
Speaker 3:Well, but yeah. But 17 year old, you will realize that Audrey, Jonas, timmy and Dow are an extension of 17 year old you. And so that's proliferation of of the life, proliferation of the lessons. Man, this is deep bro.
Speaker 2:Well, you're getting really fucking deep on me, man. I'm ready for it though.
Speaker 6:Okay.
Speaker 2:As you can tell, I've been sucking down the espresso. Really good, Kev I.
Speaker 3:This reminds me of what you had on the battle plan, about the thing that you think about, the poignant thing you think about when you go cardio.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Dude, it's amazing. What do you mean? The what you, what the poignant thing that you brought up that you think about when you go running, that you are constantly trying to be a better version of who you are now and you think you're closing the gap.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just I, I thought of it. Yeah, I was like the person that I am right now is constantly chasing the person that I want to be and I finally realized that I'll never catch him, but the closer I get to him, the better my life is. Yeah, sure, and I just I thought of that doing cardio and I was like man, that's pretty, some pretty poignant shit.
Speaker 3:A part of that is very Buddhist. You know you're trying to attain enlightenment and for you enlightenment is to get to the Tim Tuttle that you want to become. The other aspect of that that's not Buddhism is in Buddhism, the whole tenant is you don't want, there's nothing, you want Uh and and I've always had conflicting opinions about that, because I do really think Buddhism is the religion that I'm closely aligned with- Well, I, I've done all those tests too.
Speaker 2:And you know, same here, buddhism it's. You know it's a better fit for me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, same here so.
Speaker 2:I think, that's awesome. I, just I, but I'm going to go with it. You know my, my version of it, because you know I don't want to have to like donate or, you know, have specific times that I have to do stuff. So I like being spiritual on my own time and I like it costing nothing. That's just me. There you go. I mean the God.
Speaker 3:I know ain't broke. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, like they said in U2.
Speaker 5:Well, the God I believe in isn't short of cash, mister.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there you go. U2, Bono. Yeah. Who would just be one of the greatest people ever if he didn't force us to fucking have his songs on Apple that one time that killed them. Remember that, Dude.
Speaker 3:I know it's still on my iPod. You can't get it off either. No, you cannot.
Speaker 2:I tried to get rid of it because you know I like some U2 songs, not those though. Yeah. And he cut a deal with Apple where it automatically loads and can never go away Never. That is, I'm sorry, bono, edge and Mullins and all you motherfuckers on YouTube, but that's ear rape, man.
Speaker 3:I was just getting ready to say that it is. It is, that is device rape.
Speaker 2:That's it. Am I right? Because you know you have your own playlist where you're jamming your stuff. You know I'm in the mode where it's like, okay, you know I'm your stuff. You know I'm. I'm in the mode where it's like, okay, you know I, I'm, I'm lifting weights and I got pantera and you know we got the walk. We're just going for the walk and we're all cranked up and then suddenly my apple because I'm being air raped by you two plays a, a lame ass song from their later work, which is not as good, and I'm just like this is so terrible. It always happens. That's so terrible.
Speaker 3:Could be detrimental to your health too, which you could sue you to if you ever couldn't get that last wrap up, because you know you go from Pantera the Walk into it's a Beautiful Day, which actually is a good song, but and that's not actually on the album that we're talking about, but just think about that.
Speaker 2:You don't have the adrenaline pumping because their lame ass song comes on in the shuffle. Oh, I, I saw I would just get my lawyer file a civil suit and he would. It would just be simple, it'd be.
Speaker 3:Hey, you too, you two million there, it is, there you go, we'll settle yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm so sorry that.
Speaker 2:Uh, the last thing I want is is the podcast. Getting you into trouble and it's happened before with your wife and I guess it's happened again um, we had a top three last week top three ways you want to die and um, you know, kevin and I went through ours and she has an issue with with something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's not even an issue with just me, it's an issue with both of us.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, I'm in the crosshairs too.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. Yeah, if you could script your out, how would you do it? Neither of us said in our sleep she's like you guys are idiots. She's like that's the best way to go. Go. You go to sleep and you never wake up. You don't know. I'm like but it's not your top three. And what are your other two?
Speaker 2:she goes, I don't have any other two well, yeah, that's not, but she went against the rules. You got to have two more. I like it as being one and that's fine. Uh, let me just say this you know, um, mrs klein, I, you know, I, I want a little more pizzazz than that. I do, don't get me wrong. I'm totally okay with that. If that happens, that is you're right. It's painless and you don't know. But I got a little flash to me. I want to go out with a little bang.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's startling to me because she's creative. I don't know if you know this or not, but when she was in college she wrote a top 10 for David Letterman and he actually used it. Are you kidding me? Not kidding you at all.
Speaker 2:No, I never knew that. I've been with you, been with you 26, 27, 28 years. I didn't know that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, cause she doesn't talk about it much, but yeah, she is brilliant she's brilliant.
Speaker 2:She wrote a top 10 list that David Letterman used on.
Speaker 3:Yeah, In his NBC days. Do you have it? Uh, I don't know. I'm sure she could. I'm sure she could scrounge it up.
Speaker 2:Let's let's put a bookmark in it, and next week Kevin Klein will have the top 10 that his wife wrote for David Letterman and he used it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Holy shit, that's huge.
Speaker 3:Isn't it though?
Speaker 2:Yeah, she could have. She could have part laid that into a comedy writing gig.
Speaker 3:Could have you know, but I don't know why she didn't explore that anymore.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you why, kev, because she was caught with that choice. I could either be a big time comedy writer and make tons of money and meet interesting people, or I could be saddled with this asshole for the rest of my life. And she chose B, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Dude's making $13,100 a year and I got to get me some of that. That's so funny. That's what I was making when we met man.
Speaker 2:That's funny. Oh, is that what you were making at?
Speaker 3:In Springfield. Yeah, oh, wow Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, wow Right, yeah Well. Yeah, we struggled a little bit, buddy, we struggled before we got there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean in that industry, in radio. Yeah, you definitely struggle before you get there and some never get there. But yeah, you know this was and boy. It pissed me off too, because my dad always said you're never going to amount to anything.
Speaker 2:And when I told him, hey, I'm taking a job in Springfield making 13 one, he said I told you, yeah. And then then Kevin got the huge contract in. In Houston we were making a shit ton of money like more than we like, like more than double what we were doing in Birmingham and we had doubled it from the one before in Birmingham. So we're just now we're making good cake. Now we're like top 5% salary earners in the United States. We're making good cake. Now we're like top five percent salary earners in the united states. Kevin klein lets his dad know hey, I look what I'm making now, sends him a copy of the contract and all that stuff and says, hey, I bought this house, beautiful house in greatwood here, and it's got a pool and sauna and all that stuff. You need to come down and see it. So what does your dad do to make sure that never happens? He fucking killed himself in the basement yep, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Two weeks after we uh, after we signed our contract yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Two weeks after we signed the contract, he's like I can't. I've been, I've been riding this kid so hard so long. There's no way I can give him the victory and he didn't.
Speaker 3:Yeah, tim's like dude. You thought you had the last laugh. No, you didn't.
Speaker 2:No, because yeah, he got the last laugh. Yeah, he did.
Speaker 3:He's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, mr successful watch this oh yeah, good old, dad I'm so sorry, kevin. Okay, well, I have no worries, man, I I that I actually talk about that in this week's fuzzy mic episode. Yeah, oh, your dad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, because this week is the 19th anniversary I call it oh yeah, I call it the death anniversary wow, okay, all right, next year's the big 20. What are you gonna do? We're gonna get a cake yeah, probably. So, yeah, put the grim reaper on it grim reaper in a Grim Reaper and a noose yeah, made out of an extension cord, exactly. All right, kev, let's clean it up just a little bit with a top three.
Speaker 3:Just when you thought they couldn't count any higher. It's Tuttle Klein's top three. Okay, so this is my top three this week, and it comes off of a rabbit hole that I found myself in online last week. I have no idea, tim, how I got into this rabbit hole, how I came upon this thing in the first place. You might be familiar with it from your days in Knoxville, but do you know about the University of Tennessee body farm, what?
Speaker 3:There's 11 body farms in America. The largest one is I asked you if your daughter knows about it because it's in San Marcos, texas. It's 26 acres. The one in Tennessee, the original one, is 19 acres. And what is a body farm, kevin, when you die and you can donate yourself to the forensic research laboratories 11 of them and they just put your dead corpse in an open field and watch you rot and deteriorate, and that's how they. It's a way for them to help solve crimes. They check out the rate of deterioration, what the larva size is at certain aspects of deterioration. So you're really donating your dead body to, but it's open, it's like you, you, they just let you on a field and you just dude. There's 600 bodies in the one that is near the Texas state university San Marcos campus 600 bodies in that field with a thousand promise.
Speaker 2:Like where is it? I mean, they can't just have it in an open field. It's got to be like guarded and secured right.
Speaker 3:There's a fence around it, but the one in Tennessee. People climb that fence to go in there. Not so much anymore because the novelty has worn off and it's gotten so big, but yeah, people go into it all the time. You can look it up online. There's 11 of them and they're the reason.
Speaker 2:Why would? Why would you mess with that smell, though man?
Speaker 3:exactly, exactly. That would be horrific, especially in texas. But that's why they have one in texas, they have one in tennessee, they have a couple up in the northwest because they want to see what the environmental climate factors deal with. You know how that?
Speaker 2:how that obviously down south. Here the one at Texas state. They deteriorate quicker than they do up North and and you know the ones here in Texas. Texas state Wow, dude, that's crazy. I didn't even know that was a thing man.
Speaker 3:I didn't either, until I got stuck in this rabbit hole.
Speaker 2:So what is, what is the top three man?
Speaker 3:Not including vital organs.
Speaker 2:Top three body parts top three body parts from what?
Speaker 3:perspective, though, doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:Whatever your top three body parts are, my, oh, my, what I think my top three yeah, but you can't use your vital organs because obviously they're vital like that I'd have, that I want to keep, or what, what are you like?
Speaker 3:I'm confused. Did we reverse roles here? Are you fucking Klein now? Holy crap, it's just like I overthinking shit. Yeah, you're overthinking it, klein. All right, biceps obviously.
Speaker 2:OK, got to have the pipes there you go. I work hard on those fucking things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you do. That is a lot of hard work.
Speaker 2:And since I'm a douchebag, my dick.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:All right, I got to make sure he's okay.
Speaker 6:He has been quite good to me and to others.
Speaker 2:And then, what are these muscles right here? Trapezius Traps the traps yeah, I got to have the traps. I get complimented a lot on my traps from attractive ladies, so they've become a weapon.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I'm going to go with that. So traps, biceps and penis, that's correct. Okay, and that was pretty quick for you to come up with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, did you like toil and labor over it for a long time?
Speaker 3:I mean, I thought about it and I'm like you got to have that you got to have that nose.
Speaker 2:That nose has got to be that. That's your, that's your signature, man.
Speaker 3:Actually not. It's not on my list.
Speaker 2:Why are you kidding me? You're like, you're unrecognizable without that nose. That nose is like. That nose arrives four minutes before you do exactly I, I get it. No, I know, uh, kevin kevin never waits a long time for valet because his nose is out there, you know, with the ticket yeah, if my nose could change places with my penis, holy cow man there'd be a lot of women happy about that. That's so funny. Sorry, kevin's got a tiny little penis. In case you didn't know that, he's talked about it on the air a lot.
Speaker 3:Yeah, go look at that Nirvana Nevermind CD. That kid was born with more than I have at 54 years of age.
Speaker 6:Yeah, and I can imagine the couple of women you've ever been, with a couple of them probably thinking of that as.
Speaker 3:Hey, anyway, you can fuck me with the nose, exactly, yeah, but no, that my nose is not in my top three. My top three is my thumb. I think the thumb is pretty important. We text with it, we hit the space bar with it, we can grab things with it. You know, I think the thumb's pretty important. So I'm going to go with the thumb. Okay, then I'm going to go with skin Skin, yeah, think about this. Okay, I'm going to put the picture up right here for those of you that are watching on YouTube. There was one year that Heidi Klum went as a skinless person. Yes, okay, a lot of people agree that Heidi Klum is very attractive. One of the most attractive women is a supermodel in the world. I did not find her attractive without her skin. I'm going to say skin.
Speaker 2:That was not a good look, right? I mean, I she. The thing that she doesn't understand is Halloween. You're supposed to go as a skank, by the way, kev. When did that happen? You know, because I remember, you know we're growing up and hey, you're a ghost, or you're a clown, or you know you're a witch or something like that, and then just suddenly out of nowhere, it's like a whorish cop.
Speaker 3:Right, I totally remember that Skanky firefighter, french maid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly Loose-moraled lawyer which is redundant, I know, uh-huh.
Speaker 3:I don't know when that happened, but thank God it did, that's been very yeah, We've that's been very yeah, me too. And then uh, then well, I'm going to turn this thing on its head. My third is a sphincter. Wow, Well, just think about it. Okay, we have seven sphincters in our body. Okay, and a sphincter is just to open and close to make sure that things come out and don't come out.
Speaker 2:Can you imagine if we did Wait a minute? I thought it was just one, the one. Well, that's the one that gets all the attention, but Are they actually other ones that are and it's called sphincters, or are they valves?
Speaker 3:No, actually I looked it up and they're actually just by definition alone, they could be called sphincters. Okay, uh, because, like I said, it's main purpose is to open, to let out and close, to keep out to. You know, um, so yeah, can you imagine if we just walked around without that ability to keep our shit in?
Speaker 2:True, you're right. If we didn't have that, it would just be pouring out whenever it wanted to pour out, and that is not very social. Exactly so, you, exactly so.
Speaker 6:You're on a first date and you're like oh, she likes me, you know. It's like oh wow wow, that sucks.
Speaker 2:Hey, uh, then you'd have to invent the men in black flashlight, for, you know, making people forget what just happened. That would have to be invented and people would be whipping that thing out at all times, all times. You know, ladies and gentlemen, batting third for your Houston. Astros Alex Bregman. Oh shit, I got to use my. Sorry guys, the game's going to be a little delayed, am I right? Oh?
Speaker 3:man.
Speaker 2:Am I right? You're totally right. That would just be the worst dude.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, so see it's vital, it's very important yeah, yeah, thank you, kev, you're welcome because, yeah, that would be, that would be a game changer. None of us, I mean I don't, I don't give a shit how hot you are, I don't care. I mean you could be margot Robbie, you know, and you could just, yeah, just be that hot and their accent is that sexy and you're a big, you know, a big time star, and you're funny and everything like that. But if you're dropping fucking deuces randomly on red carpet, I'm sorry, no career survives that. No career survives that. No, oh, here she comes. Oh gosh, I just loved her and Barbie and she was so good and this oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, how was that cream style corn for lunch?
Speaker 3:Oh, how was that cream style corn for lunch. Oh, there you go I didn't see that coming.
Speaker 2:I didn't, hey, kev, did you? Did you see this that you're you know soccer more than I do? Okay, yeah, I played um and you you know, uh, brazil had a a big time midfielder named kaka kaka, uh-huh, yeah, I totally remember him. How do you pronounce it? Kaka kaka kaka, kaka yeah, and he and he had a high-profile wife in Brazil. I mean, they're like the prince and princess of Brazil, probably about 15 years ago. It's his wife. I can't remember her name, cecilia or something, caroline Selico or something like that.
Speaker 3:Okay, all right.
Speaker 2:They were together had two kids. They were together for 10 years, from the time she was 18 to 28 and he was just a couple years older than her, and they had two kids together.
Speaker 3:And then they had a divorce and it just it rocked brazil yeah, I don't know if you know this is about brazil, but they're pretty rabid about their soccer yeah, but you know it.
Speaker 2:Just it hurt. You know it's like how can those two not make it happen? If those two can't make it work, then what chance does any of us have? That was the vibe you got from Brazil and she just went on record this weekend. She was asked hey, what happened? And she said caca, that's the name, caca, yeah, never betrayed me. He treated me well, he gave me a wonderful family, but I was not happy. Something was missing. The problem was he was too perfect for me.
Speaker 2:Really, that's what she said. You believe her and I, I yeah, because it's happened to me. This is a thing. This is a thing.
Speaker 2:Um, I'm just absolutely insanely crazy, uh, about my ex and I'm doing everything right, kev okay I'm kind, I'm generous, I'm supportive like I've never been before, just head over heels and all the while we were together, her ex causing drama and being fucking nutty and crazy and everything like that. And I can understand why she's just amazing and beautiful and everything like that, like amazing and beautiful and everything like that. But you know, we had that conversation where she's you know, she even said she goes. You know it's kind of a turn on that that you know he's doing all this stuff and I'm like what it's crazy. He's a sociopath, he's fucking nuts dude. I mean I'm gonna I'm probably gonna end up having to kill this motherfucker. You know, I'm saying okay, yeah and I was.
Speaker 2:And I was like, and I was like, wait a minute, wait a minute. You like drama, you like this stuff, and I'm probably boring to you. And there was a pause that I'll never forget and I was like, oh my god, this is coming to an end soon.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm saying yeah yeah, you could see it coming I was just thinking about it, like because there was a pause, and then, you know, she finally said oh no, no, you're great, oh my god, you're wonderful, you treat me so well. But there was was that pause, and I was like, oh shit, man, I'm dead in the water here. Man, because I hate drama, I don't do that, I don't fight, I don't have arguments. There's no back and forth. You could, kev, you couldn't query all of my exes. It's pointless. None of them will tell. We never really had shouting matches. Oh, never had any of that. I just, you know, I'm like, okay, well, I'm gonna let you calm down. Uh, you know, I'm gonna go do something and I'll be back and you know, we'll talk uh-huh, you know I'm saying I don't exactly what you're saying yeah, and and and.
Speaker 2:That was a thing, man.
Speaker 3:Some of them love the drama, the action I think that has a lot to do with and I maybe this is a generalization, but women are nurturing by nature. That's why they're moms. Okay, and if there's nothing to nurture, if there's nothing to nurture, if there's nothing to work with or change, if Kaka is perfect, she probably feels like there's nothing I can do in this relationship. You know, if you're treating your ex as perfectly as you did, well, there's nothing for you know, she doesn't have a challenge, she doesn't have something to intrigue her about the relationship. I gotta, I gotta fix this, I gotta fix this. They want to change you. I think it's because they're they're the nurturers.
Speaker 2:You know, you know, the funniest thing about that Kevin is and it's unfortunate, because I'm just, I don't want to be that person, particularly anymore with my new enlightenment era, but I, I uh you're right though, man. I mean the, the the only two times where I've been quote unquote dumped, I have been kind, generous, supportive, I mean it's, it's the two times where I was like really in love. You know what I'm saying, yeah, and I this, you know, it was like I want this to last. You know what I'm saying, I do know what you're saying. And the other time, at the other times, I was like, well, whatever, you know whatever, yeah, this is fun, but you know, whatever, and I just, I just, I didn't care, I didn't show the passion or the emotion. You know, I was kind of a dick, you know, and they, they love that.
Speaker 3:That's what they say. Women love the bad boy is what is a common phrase, and the reason that women love the bad boy is because it's a challenge to them and women need to be mentally stimulated. They, they, have to. You know, and I mean, I always thought that this was a bullshit reason that girls didn't go out with me in high school is oh, you're just too nice, but you're saying that.
Speaker 2:The actual thing yeah, oh, it absolutely is. When I saw there that, that quote and it's, you know, last couple days that's been a big quote, she's saying he was too perfect I was like, oh man, that's happened to me. You know, when you're, when you're too awesome to them, you're boring. Yeah, you're, you're boring. They, they, they want you to, they want you to uh, break off their side view mirror on their car in anger.
Speaker 3:You know I'm saying yeah, I don't know if they want you to go that extreme, but at least present something that they have to. Hey, I need to get him to stop doing that yeah, I, yeah, that's what I think now, now see that that has me torn.
Speaker 2:It's's like I, I pro, because I, I, I, just I, I just can't be that guy anymore. I, just I, I, you know, I just don't want to be that guy anymore but, that, that that guy holds them keeps them.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying. No, yeah, I know, I know exactly what you're saying. You know, just based on past relationships with you, I definitely see where you're coming from. Um, but, yeah, just be you, and if the new version of you is what you really want to be, there's somebody out there for that, I mean it's boring, I'm boring now.
Speaker 2:Well then find somebody like Trish, who loves boring. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sweet, I'm kind, I'm supportive, I'm generous. Yeah, hey, yeah, oh, my God, yeah, oh, my god, yeah, let's go do that expensive trip, come on. No, no, no, I'll take care of it, you would love my wife.
Speaker 3:No, no, no. She loves boring and she doesn't like Spending money. That's funny. I mean, they're out there. They might be unicorns. I found one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you did, we'll see. I laughed. I was like oh my god, that's totally me be unicorns. I found one, yeah, you did. Oh, yeah, you did. Okay, well, we'll see, we'll see, we'll see. But I, I just I laughed. I was like oh my god, that's totally me.
Speaker 3:Um, hey, kevin perhaps you should reach out to kaka and start your own support group I, I can't, I can't be friends with somebody with that name without laughing. Yeah, that's that's a nickname, you know.
Speaker 2:I know. I'll be like. I'm going to call you Bill For sure. Hey, kev, let me tell you I have to take a moment to show appreciation to people listening to the podcast that showed up last week at the Improv Houston and watched me do my first ever real stand-up comedy show. They came out, they supported and they had a great time. They gave me great feedback and you know they said they loved what I did and everything like that, and I enjoyed it. It was a fun time.
Speaker 3:Well, you posted the entire set on Facebook and I've read some of the comments and, uh, very, very positive, very overwhelmingly positive. I watched the, the, the video you sent me. You nailed it, dude. I even commented on your, on your post. Yeah, yeah, you hit it out of the ballpark.
Speaker 6:Now you're about to see the translation of the stage.
Speaker 4:Now you're about to start clapping, start, clapping, start, clapping Woo.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you very much. My son is a huge fan of Thomas the Tank Engine. His favorite character is Percy. I take him to Target. He goes running straight for the toy section screaming I want Percy, I want Percy. Of course, as a three-year-old he struggled with his R.
Speaker 5:Of course, as a three-year-old, he struggled with his R it's crazy.
Speaker 2:And Kev, because I was sandwiched in between very seasoned comedians and they were shocked that well, that's your first time, Holy shit, dude. And I said, well, I've done a couple open mics and this is my first big stage opportunity. And they were like, wow, man, you had the poise. I usually don't see poise like that until two, three, four years into a standup career.
Speaker 3:That's what I said. I said you look like you're very comfortable out there, you own the stage, your pacing was great. Uh, like I said, man, you hit it on the ballpark, yeah, so I was very surprised when you sent me the text that you sent me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I'm glad I did it and I'm not saying that I'm not going to do it again. I mean, it's a bucket list item that I've knocked off and I'm very happy that I've done that and I'm not going to do it again. I mean, it's a bucket list item that I've knocked off and I'm very happy that I've done that and I'm not going to say I won't do it again, but there's some drawbacks to it. And that's the one parallelism of every time I've gone up on stage even the open mics is I got zero sleep that night, so that for me nukes the entire next day and I just-.
Speaker 3:Your day starts early.
Speaker 2:My day starts early because I'm a futures trader and every single time I've done it, the next day has been a little bit of a struggle with my trading, and I can't have that. That's the bread and butter, and I can't work out either. This last time I went I was so jacked up I didn't work out the day after or the day after that. I didn't work out Wednesday and Thursday.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 2:And that's a lot for me, that is a lot.
Speaker 3:It's a complete schedule change. I mean, we used to make our living getting up at three in the morning and being basically done with work at 10 15. Now you're not really even working until 10 15 in the evening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah yeah, and you know, and I was thinking about it, you know, yeah, it was a great creative outlet and I love it. Uh, but know, with our podcast I get that same creative outlet and it's actually even better on the podcast, for this simple reason. When I'm doing a stand-up comedy act, it's the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over. You know the bits I have. Some of them date as far back as 2007. So with this podcast it's improvisational once a week. Yeah, it's constantly changing.
Speaker 2:We haven't really even done anything that we thought we were going to do today yeah, I mean we, you and I, freestyle and improv, and and that is to me more satisfying than saying the same joke now for the 712th time yeah, after having done it, don't?
Speaker 3:aren't you even more impressed with like the bill burrs, who go and do that same set every night for 30 nights in a row? Like I've often wondered why bands don't change their set list from night in and night out. That would just be boring to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally. And Kevin, I was thinking about it and you know, and I was talking to some of these pros, these killers that I, that I worked with at the improv Houston, and there, you know, one guy said, yeah, it's been the same thing three straight years. You know, one guy said, yeah, it's been the same thing three straight years. He sometimes will add a new tag, but he does it six or seven times a week and I'm just like, I'm just, you know, that's in my head and I'm like, wow, man, I like the improv riff component of it that you and I can do. Yeah, now, don't get me wrong, if a situation arises where it could be a quick pay type situation, I would do it, but I'm satisfied with what I'm doing now.
Speaker 2:And now that that's knocked off the bucket list, there's some other things I want to do this. So you and I, being retired, semi-retired or whatever, you know, we have the whole world in our hands. You know, outside of the couple hours I need every weekday morning to trade, the day is mine Sure. And you know, I have screenplay ideas in my head that I've never wrote. I mean, I have actual outlines and notes for probably about ever wrote. I mean, I have actual outlines and notes for probably about three or four movies that maybe I just I want to start writing those.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm going to have to put you on pause right now, because we have a very special guest waiting for us in the weight room. Should we admit him? I'm?
Speaker 2:not worthy, please do.
Speaker 3:I am absolutely not worthy of this, because this is going to be phenomenal.
Speaker 2:There he is. Kev lucky you Two totals, no waiting.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this is fantastic. So impressed by what he's doing.
Speaker 4:What's up Todd. Not much Kind of had to move around to find the right reception here. Great seeing you, klein.
Speaker 3:Great seeing you too, buddy. How's everything going on? The AT?
Speaker 4:And. I guess it's okay to see Tim too, but I knew that was coming. Uh, everything, everything's going really well. Um, actually had a really great hike this morning. Uh, perfect temperature and an easy trail day, so, uh, having fun.
Speaker 3:Where are you Are?
Speaker 4:you in North Carolina, just shy of uh Fontana dam, which is the gateway to the great smoky mountains.
Speaker 2:Todd. Uh, for those of you unaware, that's my brother, todd, 125 miles into this.
Speaker 4:You've done how many miles so far 165.
Speaker 2:Jesus man, that is crazy. I mean, todd, seriously, man, what is going on? Why are you doing this?
Speaker 4:I don't understand six months along the Appalachian Trail. Well, my wife Jenny wanted me out of the house. I had to come up with something. And then I had the opportunity after I retired. You know somebody on the trail who talked about Warrior Expeditions. I checked it out and I applied to be a couple of the participants of this wonderful organization.
Speaker 4:So, as a combat veteran, I I was selected we lost you for a second bro yeah, I apologize, it's coming in and out, but but, um, yeah, just to finish off, you know it's 22, after I retired last year from my civilian job. Um, you know, I uh trying to figure out the next chapter, mental health. Uh, clear my head, you know, figured six months and 2200 miles was going to do it.
Speaker 2:How are you mentally, todd? I mean, for those that are aware, my brother, retired Colonel US Army Black Hawk helicopter pilot, was overseas for some expeditions. You know, how are you? I mean, are you okay? I mean, I'm your big brother.
Speaker 4:Yeah, no, you know. Overall, yes, but I've gone through my trials and tribulations, so to speak, you know, including some bouts of depression that end up turning into anxiety and, as you know, Tim, I had to go to rehab for alcoholism back in 2015. So it's been a lot. Military career 31 years, multiple tours it takes a lot. Military career 31 years, multiple tours it takes a toll.
Speaker 2:Todd, tell me about WarriorExpeditionsorg. I mean, this is an unbelievable organization. I've been doing some reading on it, but from your words what they're doing for the combat vets that we have.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that we have. Yeah, so, um, you know, just for the hike alone, there was 400 applicants that we had of. So they do three different things. They do a hike, which this year is the, at 2200 miles from georgia to maine, and then they also do, uh, warrior paddle, which is going down the Mississippi from Minnesota to New Orleans, and then they do a Warrior Bike, which is from Washington DC to Washington State, coast to coast.
Speaker 2:I mean that's just such a neat thing and an opportunity for the vets to clear their mind, have some camaraderie back and forth. I mean it's just phenomenal. I'm so proud of what Todd is doing. Obviously, we had a little bit of a connection problem with him, but you know we'll try to link up with him. He's going to be on the trail for six months and, you know, maybe next week or the week after or whatever we can get him when he's in a better signal or the week after or whatever we can get him when he's in a better signal type situation. But, kev, I mean I'm proud of the guy I.
Speaker 2:You know you always see these guys as a rock. I've always seen my brother as a rock and you know the fact that he was fighting with alcoholism back in 2015, and he's had some anxiety and you know that Todd's the toughest of the tough. You know you can only imagine some of the demons that some of our combat vets have to fight with on a day-to-day basis and I'm sure you agree, kev. God bless each and every one of you who has ever been out there and put it on the line If you have an opportunity sometime today and Kevin Klein will put the link in our description here. Go to warrior expeditionsorg and make whatever kind of a donation you could make for a very worthy cause. Hey, ted, what was more horrific? What you saw in the Middle East or growing up with me?
Speaker 2:what you saw in the Middle East or growing up with me?
Speaker 4:Oh for sure, growing up with you, Uh-huh. As you know, Tim can be very overbearing and take over a room and make everybody feel anxious.
Speaker 4:No, and he has to have the last word. No, that's where my anxiety started. Last word, no, that's where my anxiety started. So, todd, how many miles a day are you averaging? In case you didn't know it, uh, right now, just 10, because, uh, you know, we're trying to uh ease our old bones into this. You know, in my 50s, I, I want to, I want to finish this. I don't want to go fast, you know so, yeah, I'm taking it nice and slow right now, when we get into the mid-range. You know, in my fifties, I want to, I want to finish this. I don't want to go fast, you know. So, I'm taking it nice and slow right now. When we get into the mid range, you know, in the Virginia and Pennsylvania areas, where it's more flat, then we'll start doing 20 to 30 miles, uh, and then, once we get up into the white mountain, uh, new England, it'll go back to, you know, eight to 12 miles a day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've only been on about 10 miles of the AT trail, appalachian trail, and it was in New Jersey and it's it's absolutely stunning scenery, but those Hills are no joke, brother.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hey, todd any run-ins.
Speaker 4:I think we've already done the equivalent of one Mount Everest, yeah.
Speaker 2:Up and down so far.
Speaker 4:Yep. Hey, todd any bear, there's a total of 16 Mount Everest on this baby. Uh, we just missed one. Um, we just missed a bear run in. Uh, it was a camp that was just down the trail from us. They had one come through the camp, the other, uh, the other night, um, but no, I haven't seen one yet.
Speaker 2:What are you supposed to do? I mean, did they train you on what to do, how to handle a bear?
Speaker 4:What's, what's the maneuver to survive a bear?
Speaker 2:Uh, shoot it. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:Yogi's like oh, yeah, I thought I had free lunch and they were combat veterans. That's right Now, you know you. Just you don't want to get in their way. They're pretty much more afraid of you, you know. But if, if they've got the cubs or they see you as prey, you got to make yourself as big as possible, as loud as possible, and obviously when you're with more people and that's what worked with those folks in that camp, you know they just all started yelling out and screaming and it took off.
Speaker 2:Okay, so basically, what you're saying right there is yeah, growing up with me was not the best, but right now, if a bear comes, you want me there.
Speaker 4:That's correct Because, again, you don't have to outrun the bear, you just have to run out, run the jackass next to you.
Speaker 3:That's right.
Speaker 4:You'd be perfect for that, Tim.
Speaker 2:You don't have to be the fastest, you just have to be the second slowest.
Speaker 4:That's correct. Yeah, so if you want to join me in in the smokies, where it's a big bear sanctuary there's like 15 000 bears there I'd love to have you tim, that way I could push you down and run there we go.
Speaker 2:It's like all the all the demons from the 70s and 80s come out there. It is todd. It was great talking to you, man. I love you, little brother, I'm very proud of you thank you and if you get a chance, please uh check in with us here and there on mondays, will you? Love to have you every monday bro yeah, yeah, what you're doing awesome.
Speaker 3:What you're doing is so impressive and it's such a great, worthy cause.
Speaker 4:Uh man, I'm I'm so proud of you too, bro hey, I appreciate it, guys, and I'll definitely try to pick uh some good scenery behind me, uh, so you get to enjoy what I get to see, which is incredible, incredible views. All right, take care, guys. Thank you so much. See you Todd, Love you, buddy Love you too, see you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the scenery that he's seeing is just geez. It's crazy how good that scenery is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't know he had. I guess I've got to become a more involved brother. I didn't realize he was having those problems. I didn't.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean like you said, it's understandable you know everything that they see and go through.
Speaker 2:I just always seen he's the rock. You know what I'm saying. He's like. He's like that guy, you know, Sure, but I, I, I, you can, you can still be that guy and you know, have some demons floating around in the brain, Right?
Speaker 3:Oh, tim, if you only knew how many people have demons floating around in the brain and how exteriorly tough these people are. You know because, like one of my previous guests on the fuzzy mic said, you only see what we want you to see. You know, people only see what we allow you to see, and on the surface we're not going to show you our warts. On the surface You're going to think, oh my God, like this week. I'm talking to a Playboy Playmate. She was a Playboy Playmate centerfold in 1990. You think those people have it all? No, dude, she was into self-harm, she was suicidal and it seems so crazy, doesn't it?
Speaker 3:well as somebody who deals with it. It is crazy because you don't know what's going to set it off. You don't.
Speaker 2:It doesn't rhyme or reason to it and I remember like, do you remember the um? When dave chappelle was re-signed by Comedy Central $50 million for two more seasons and he just flipped out. I was like I can't do it. And everybody's like what it's? $50 million, Are you crazy? What are you doing? And he had to escape for a while. He disappeared.
Speaker 3:Totally remember that.
Speaker 2:And you're right, you never know what's going on up here. I mean you're right, you just you never know what's going on up here. I mean you're pretty open with me and I see a lot of kevin klein darkness, but I'd imagine there's still a 10, 15 percent that even I don't know about oh, there's 10, 15 percent that trish doesn't know about so have a nice night of sleep tonight, trish. How?
Speaker 2:about that, honey, I'm home yeah yeah, every single night I stand over your sleeping body and think of three reasons not to kill you oh no, it's never about uh any other harm, it's always about self-harm yeah, yeah, I know like you know, I was doing a joke there and you had to step on it with your fucking reality. Thanks, thanks, pal.
Speaker 3:Oh no, that's one of the. That's one of the first questions that a therapist will ask you. So are you thinking about harming somebody else or just yourself? Yeah, that's one of the questions. Yeah, I mean, if you say I'm thinking about harming somebody else, you're fucking getting put away. Dude, I've been in the hospital. I've been in the hospital twice, you, I've been in the hospital twice. You know that. Yeah, yeah, not because I was going to harm somebody else, I was going to kill myself. But there was a day and I guarantee you and Erica don't know this, I guarantee it but it was a Friday morning and I came into work. And before I came into work that morning, I literally had a knife to my throat and I was piercing the skin right here because I had this thought when I was cutting an apple, I was like I wonder what it would feel like if I poked a knife behind my larynx.
Speaker 2:No, he's being nice. He's just like my brother and like I got to go deal with this asshole again for five hours.
Speaker 3:No, seriously, it was in in. I literally put the knife up there, pierced the skin and then dropped the knife, and that was, uh, when we got off the knife up there, pierced the skin and then dropped the knife, and that was when we got off the air. Trish took me to the hospital.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for those unaware, Kevin Kline still suffers bipolar.
Speaker 3:More depression than bipolar, but chronic suicidality is the new diagnosis.
Speaker 2:And I'll never, ever forget. I watched the Netflix special the night before your last time at the radio station in February of 2021. And the Netflix special was that lady who got on top of like the water heater or water processor on the roof of the hotel in Los Angeles and she was so depressed she got in there and drowned herself. And I came to Kevin Kline that next morning, his last day that I would see him in our 25-year career, and I was like dude, I had no idea that shit gets that bad up there. Oh yeah, oh yeah, and I felt bad. I was like man because, you know, I there were times where, in all honesty, I even told you this before, where your anxiety and depression and it annoyed the fuck out of me, of course.
Speaker 3:Of course. I mean, if it annoys the fuck out of you, think how it annoys us.
Speaker 2:Because you know, there's a certain number of shows that Kevin Klein and I have had over our 6,500 shows in 25 years where I would look on the other side of the board and he's checked out.
Speaker 3:Oh, I wasn't there, I wasn't there.
Speaker 2:So I'm like, oh shit, I got to do this alone again today.
Speaker 3:Motherfucker, you know I get not thinking because you know I don't know about it and you know I'm kind of a selfish prick, well it, and you know I'm kind of a selfish prick, well, for the longest time, tim's medical advice to me was dude just don't do it exactly, just get over it and it's like man bro, if it was that easy I would you know, but I would.
Speaker 2:I would just be like dude. We have the world in our hands, man so robin williams we, we've reached exactly. We've reached. Pay dirt, we've, we know we. We joke with each other for a few hours every morning, making appearance here and there, and they pay us an obscene amount of money. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Speaker 3:I woke up and I I just didn't know. Yeah, and now, with you know me being open about it and with Todd being open about it and you actually after, after, uh, before I left the station, we had a nice conversation, uh, uh, on the telephone and you were like dude, I know what you're, I know. I know about it now because there was a time where you, uh, you were kind of I don't know if you were, it was right after you and Erica.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I, I, I had a low point too, a low point yeah, where it was just like is this really fucking happening? Yeah, is this really fucking happening? Yeah, so I get it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So and that's what I do with the fuzzy mic is I just try and make sure that the conversation is is open, is honest and it seems to be helping people. I'm getting really good feedback on it. So you know, and I would love I didn't know about Todd If, if he ever wants to come on, he would help a lot of people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when he, he would be a great guest. He'll be done, you know, in October, but he would be a great guest for you and I. You know, when he could just sit down and do it, he'd be. I mean he's, he's very, very, very smart and he's very fluid.
Speaker 3:You don't get to his rank without being smart bro.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, he's a colonel, yeah, he's yeah. For sure. Okay, all right, that's fun, kev, did you have a good time?
Speaker 3:But you want to do screenplays. Getting back to what we were talking about, you want to do screenplays.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're going to bring it back. Yeah, were talking about you want to do screenplays oh, you can bring it back. Uh, yeah, I, uh, yeah, I. I have like two or three re what I think are really good ideas that have just been floating around. I mean, I've even had the dialogue, uh, floating around in my head what would be cool dialogue for it, and I just, I think I, I want to. You know the? The thing that was a problem in the past is I can't type, but now you have voice to text and I can just spit that out and then you know, I can edit page by page, by page. It is so much easier for me to do writing now.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 6:Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, you know, I have one idea that that's been in my head for a while, kev, and I'm going to go ahead and give you the idea. If anybody steals this, I will kill you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he'll come after you.
Speaker 2:I will. I'll send my brother after you in his Blackhawk helicopter, but it's called Varsity. Assassin, you've told me about this. Oh, I've told you about this. Yeah, assassin, you've told me about this. Oh, you, I've told you about this. Yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:It's an idea where you know a young looking assassin and this guy's trained in martial arts and weapons and everything like this. I mean, he's a killer of all killers. You know, uh, you know from the military and basically what. What he does is he enrolls in a high school, which is a perfect cover. Who's going to think an assassin is in high school? And you know, while he does his day-to-day high school student stuff. You know he, because he's in a city and I don't know whether it be like Washington, probably DC, or something like that, or somewhere like that Washington DC where high profile people who would be targets, you know they come and visit or whatever, but you know, you know he would plan these just unbelievable assassinations. You know and you know.
Speaker 2:But he's also on the other side. He's dealing with being a high school student. You know flicks and he's dealing with gossip and rumors. And you know, here he's. You know he's 22 years old and you know some of these pretty girls are 16 years old, they're, they're all over. He's a handsome dude, of course, so he's got to deal with that. Hey, I can't you know, I can't, you know, I'd like to, and they all think he's gay and stuff like that. And you know, then one time he's just goofing around in the gym alone and he like dunks a basketball and one of the basketball players see it and like dude, you man, with you we win state this year. And he's like, no, I can't, because, you know, because he's struggling with all these different conflicts and and still has to maintain. Okay, we've got a high profile target. Just checked into the four seasons hotel. Blah, blah, blah. You're gonna have a 48 hour period that you can hit him. Uh, you know, make your plan, submit your plan, let me you know.
Speaker 2:I'm saying I know exactly what you're saying yeah, so varsity assassin is the name of it, is that cool?
Speaker 3:That's really cool. That's great Varsity Assassin.
Speaker 2:You like that. Does he have a name? I do not have a name, okay.
Speaker 3:Do you have a suggestion for a name?
Speaker 6:Not Bryson.
Speaker 3:DeChambeau. Wow, because he would choke on the last day before the assassination no, it's a name is like, so important for a character you know, and so I mean you're going to.
Speaker 2:Does his name reflect his need to be anonymous?
Speaker 6:or is his?
Speaker 2:name going to be reflective of his secrecy. Thank you very much. That's something for me to think about. Yeah, yeah, the first thing that popped in my head is Ryan Uh-huh, Just you know, just just regular Ryan. Yep, you know what I'm saying I, that's a great name but maybe I should put more thought into it and really think about it. No, no, ryan's a great name, but I, I, I want to write that as a movie, but that could also be like a Netflix series.
Speaker 3:Could be a series like a.
Speaker 2:Netflix series Could be a series. Yeah, Because you can just assassinate like crazy.
Speaker 3:There's always somebody you want to kill.
Speaker 2:There's always somebody that needs to be assassinated. In this world. There's some evil fuckers. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do know what you're saying.
Speaker 2:But the only problem with the series is, you know when they're in high school. Eventually they have to graduate.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's when the series ends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ryan, this is your seventh year as a senior.
Speaker 3:What the hell dude? Well, hell, how long has Bart Simpson been in elementary school?
Speaker 2:But that's a cartoon, you can get away with it. Still. Yeah, good point. I mean you're right, Suspend the animation and just go with the story, right?
Speaker 3:Yeah, you get somebody young enough looking you can milk that yeah, so I mean that's.
Speaker 2:I think that's going to be my next project finally writing uh, varsity assassin I like it I like it cool. All right, what do you have going on kev this week?
Speaker 3:uh, this week, uh, great episode on the fuzzy mic. I don't have a guest, but I talked for 17 minutes, which is 17 minutes too long for a lot of people. Uh, but I talk about my family, my upbringing and, uh, basically what we talked about today and that is, uh, you know the the depressive episodes and stuff like that. And then I am I'm talking to deborah driggs, uh, for next week's episode, and she is her when she was a centerfold. Her issue is one of the highest grossing uh issues now on the secondary market, and do you know why? Why, because donald trump is on the cover. Oh, and she has a story about, uh, the 45th president nice, yeah, don't they all hers, hers is actually, uh, very interesting.
Speaker 3:Uh, she, I mean, I can spoil it right now. No, no, no don't spoil it, okay.
Speaker 2:Don't spoil it, because we'll tease it again next week, and that'll be the big tease, okay.
Speaker 3:Alright, what about you? What do you got?
Speaker 2:Again. I think I'm going to be writing Screenplay. This week. I got some you know some stuff to take Care of. Ask us to beat.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be writing screenplay this week I got some, you know some stuff to take care of.
Speaker 2:Ask us to beat no, no, no. Okay, I'm all mellow, chill now, but thank you to each and every one of you again for your support in regards to the standup comedy, from going forward If something materializes, see, that's the. That's the thing about us being like retired, semi-retired we can do whatever the hell we want. So that may come up again. If not, there's other things I need to check off the bucket list. Please check out our merchandise. Go to Tuttle Kline Facebook Search Tuttle Kline, get our merchandise. It is really sharp looking stuff. And please like, follow, download, subscribe rating. We need all of that stuff to continue to grow the podcast.
Speaker 3:And thank you for listening and thank you for all of the comments. If you want to get in touch with us, TuttleandKline at gmailcom, or just leave a comment in one of the YouTube video sections or on our Facebook page.
Speaker 2:All right, Kev, I'm out of here, buddy.
Speaker 1:That's it for this episode of the Tuttle Kline Show. See you this Wednesday for an all-new episode. Also, you can catch Tuttle on TV. He is a handsome man and you can get more Kline on his podcast, the Fuzzy Mike, with new episodes on Tuesday. Stay fuzzy, friends, and thanks for listening to the Tuttle Kline Show. Yo, All right.
