Prepare to get blown away by our latest podcast adventure!
We kick things off with a chuckle over Tuttle's Astros shirt that nearly broke the internet during the World Series, then quickly dive headfirst into the deep end. Pondering the weight of expectations on young prodigies like Bryce Harper, we segue into the transformative power of a solid mindset, with pearls of wisdom from a mindset coach to NFL legends.
Whether it’s hitting home runs or slinging jokes, we dissect the secrets to standing out and staying sharp. And if that's not enough, get ready for some behind-the-mic confessions as we recount tales of early morning radio battles and salute standout local businesses that are crushing it with top-tier customer service.
Thank you to our Sponsor: Air Innovations: https://www.airinnovationsllc.com/
But wait, there's more! We serve up a hearty slice of reality as we explore the darker side of fame and the labyrinth of the justice system, punctuated by our unique brand of humor. From the spooky considerations of being wrongfully accused to the perplexing idea of a 'righteous dictator,' we pepper in a good dose of levity to keep things from getting too grim.
Meanwhile, remember the O.J. trial? We sure do—join us as we reflect on its enduring legacy and the seismic shifts in public perception it caused.
Thank you to our Sponsor: Home Video Rescue: https://homevideorescue.com/
Finally, brace yourselves for a wild ride as we embark on a journey of personal triumphs, from Tuttle's brother's heartwarming Appalachian Trail hike supporting veterans through Warrior Expeditions (www.warrriorexpeditions.org) to Tim's nail-biting stand-up comedy debut. You'll get the inside scoop on the jitters, the strategy, and the laughs that come with baring your soul to a crowd.
To cap it all off, we tackle the thorny issue of ethics, as a jaw-dropping documentary sparks our outrage and leaves an indelible mark. So, join us for an episode that zigzags from hilarity to heartache and back again!
Prepare to get blown away by our latest podcast adventure!
We kick things off with a chuckle over Tuttle's Astros shirt that nearly broke the internet during the World Series, then quickly dive headfirst into the deep end. Pondering the weight of expectations on young prodigies like Bryce Harper, we segue into the transformative power of a solid mindset, with pearls of wisdom from a mindset coach to NFL legends.
Whether it’s hitting home runs or slinging jokes, we dissect the secrets to standing out and staying sharp. And if that's not enough, get ready for some behind-the-mic confessions as we recount tales of early morning radio battles and salute standout local businesses that are crushing it with top-tier customer service.
Thank you to our Sponsor: Air Innovations: https://www.airinnovationsllc.com/
But wait, there's more! We serve up a hearty slice of reality as we explore the darker side of fame and the labyrinth of the justice system, punctuated by our unique brand of humor. From the spooky considerations of being wrongfully accused to the perplexing idea of a 'righteous dictator,' we pepper in a good dose of levity to keep things from getting too grim.
Meanwhile, remember the O.J. trial? We sure do—join us as we reflect on its enduring legacy and the seismic shifts in public perception it caused.
Thank you to our Sponsor: Home Video Rescue: https://homevideorescue.com/
Finally, brace yourselves for a wild ride as we embark on a journey of personal triumphs, from Tuttle's brother's heartwarming Appalachian Trail hike supporting veterans through Warrior Expeditions (www.warrriorexpeditions.org) to Tim's nail-biting stand-up comedy debut. You'll get the inside scoop on the jitters, the strategy, and the laughs that come with baring your soul to a crowd.
To cap it all off, we tackle the thorny issue of ethics, as a jaw-dropping documentary sparks our outrage and leaves an indelible mark. So, join us for an episode that zigzags from hilarity to heartache and back again!
welcome to the Tuttle and Klein show all right, I like that shirt.
Speaker 2:Oh, you like this shirt. Oh, that's neat, man, yeah oh yeah, yeah, that's the.
Speaker 3:Uh. You know I I didn't know um that the Astros uh store um had douche wear. So as soon as I saw I was with my ex at the time and as soon as I saw this I was like, oh, this has to be me that's really cool.
Speaker 3:Though it may, it's got a hood on it too and of course I don't use it, it's just for show. But but kev um, so funny that, uh, that you bring up this shirt and maybe, and also maybe we can insert the video right here Game six of the World Series where we won the World Championship in 22. Fifth inning, bryce Harper, huge foul ball hooking right at me and you can see me on screen with this douchey shirt on and I almost had the foul ball. Had the foul ball, the guy in front of me and an Asian dude in front of me stuck his hand up at the last second and kind of tipped it away and it hit my left pinky finger, my right pinky finger, excuse me.
Speaker 2:And dented the ball.
Speaker 3:The ball was okay. The ball had to be taken out on a stretcher. No, but, you can see it right here too. I'll even give you the here's, the freeze frame of it right here. That's, that's me in the stance. And the funny thing is is I guess I stuck out, so you know cause I'm? I'm pretty big guy and I'm I was looking so douchey that you know a lot of 93 Q listeners of ours said I just saw it, we just saw you.
Speaker 2:They messaged me we just saw you on tv. I was like great, the world saw you on tv because, uh, that was the, uh, that was the. You know the world series that was the championship game.
Speaker 3:That's when we uh, we clinched, we won the whole thing. We were there that's nice and uh yeah and and you can see in the picture there my ex was ducking for cover. You know, we actually went through a drill, we had drills.
Speaker 3:We're like, hey, duck for cover, I'm gonna get it went through a drill oh yeah, yeah, we were all always prepared because you know that that's a line shot. I mean, if you look at that that real quick, again how hard bryce harper right here hits this ball. I mean that's smashed, and initially I think it's Valdez on the mound.
Speaker 1:I can't remember who's. I think it was Valdez.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he thought, he thought he cranked it and I was out there near the, the left field or, excuse me, the right field, foul pole, just foul, and it was. It was coming. I mean, you could hear the when it was coming. You could hear the.
Speaker 2:Dude, I'm amazed at how hard Major League Baseball players hit the ball now.
Speaker 3:Dude unbelievable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, with wooden bats. I'm not a huge fan of Bryce Harper, just because I remember him in junior college trying to fight everybody, but I really love his swing. I do, man, that's a pretty swing.
Speaker 3:Oh, he's got a beautiful swing and you know he's, I mean he's, he's the guy, you know he's the, he's the.
Speaker 2:Adonis, and when he was, when he was four, when he was 16, he was on the cover of sports illustrated. When he was 14, he was being talked about as potentially the greatest of all time at 14.
Speaker 3:You can't do that to somebody at 14 years old.
Speaker 2:Dude, he reveled in it.
Speaker 3:For every one that you get right, like Tiger Woods, they got it right. Yeah, you know that's one you got right. You come into a Todd Marinovich. Remember him, the quarterback, Robo QB.
Speaker 2:Yeah from USC.
Speaker 3:His dad, you know, never gave him anything unhealthy to eat. He never had sugar. He was training with his dad year around since he was like six years old to be at this big time, next big thing, quarterback, and he ended up fizzling out yep, totally did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so burnt him up actually. Uh, I didn't think we were going to be talking about this, but the guy that I have on on the fuzzy mic later this week, he is a mindset coach and he helped seven NFL hall of famers with their mindset.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know, it just got me thinking about it because he said the only thing that separates us mortal athletes from the immortal athletes is mindset. The biggest difference is when they make a decision to do something, it's done. There's no variation, there's no going back.
Speaker 3:That's it. I mean and you know I've heard like the best comedians too, cause I'm, you know, I'm I'm doing the standup comedy type stuff and I guess we'll do an update a little bit later on that but they all say the same thing. Bill Burr, you know, seinfeld, we're the guys, instead of partying our asses off, getting too wasted, not being able to wake up until 2 pm the next day, we're the guys who set aside writing time like specific time. I mean, seinfeld, it was a business. I mean he would wake up at eight in the morning, have his coffee and he would write from eight to noon every single day. Even if he had nothing, he would do stream of conscious to start writing.
Speaker 2:Because that'll kickstart it. Yep, that'll kickstart it, but that is, he says. That's. The only thing that separates regular people from the greats is what happens between the ears.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's mental, and how bad you want it.
Speaker 2:That's exactly right, sir.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's mental and how bad you want it. That's exactly right, sir. Yeah, and let's give ourselves a little pat on the back. The percentages of morning radio personalities that end up doing any kind of extensive work in very large cities very small number, and we did the work. We worked our ass off. I mean it just sounded like we were lazy on the radio. Just a few idiots. But there was a lot of work that went behind that stuff.
Speaker 2:OK, well, think about this. And when I retired this is one of the things that I said in my retirement post was a lot of people get into radio and they don't even last three days. A lot of people don't last three years. We lasted 30 years, you know, and like what you said, 17 of them, 16 for me, 17 for you. In a top 10 market You'd never take that for granted because there's only 2,400 radio stations, so there's only 2,400 morning show teams. If each radio station had their own through Through syndication and consolidation, it is considerably less. Think about the whole US population and how small of a fraternity we were in bro.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I try not to, you know, forget that. And you know the good thing is is my kids. You know Audrey and Jonas. They understand those percentages and they're like and, and we know we watched dad work and we watched dad wake up and he was, dad was everywhere, you know, yes, so so, and that's been instilled in their life. If I have to get ahead, this is what I have to do. Also, they're both hard working kids.
Speaker 2:What was the hardest part of the job for you?
Speaker 3:The hardest job. Part of the morning radio.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I, I might. For me it was. It was dealing with management who had never done what we do and are unable to do what we were able to do. And there it's. It's the most unusual situation. Most other management positions the person that has a manager did it, you know, for many years. You know you talk about sports managers and coaches they did it. You talk about you know the sales managers they did it.
Speaker 3:You know, if the managers in radio did morning radio, well, that's what they would be doing, because that's the gig man. That's why you get into radio. So they were unable to do it and didn't do it. And it's hard to explain to them and it's hard for them to understand your process and the things that you need in order to perform. You know the managers, who are the managers who are hotlining you when they hear something they don't want to hear. You know where you think as a manager. Well, I'm the vortex of the universe and they need to be appealing to me. You know those guys don't get it. Yeah, they don't. And every so often you run into managers like that and they just destroy the whole creative process yes, they really they, they do, and those shows usually aren't as successful.
Speaker 2:You know, and that was the second hardest part for me, the hardest part was the alarm clock I had no problems, man I used.
Speaker 3:I to love getting up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't mind it, but two 45 is fucking early dude.
Speaker 3:I always, I always thought that you know, mine was three oh three.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I always thought that, that I had an edge over the rest of the world Cause I'm up and I'm going. So I'm, I'm beating you, I'm beating you.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. When, when, when our listeners were getting in their car at 5.30, 6 o'clock in the morning, dude, we were already up for three hours, you know? Yeah, the early bird definitely gets the worm, bro.
Speaker 3:Yeah, without a doubt. Speaking of hard workers and early birds, kevin Air Innovations I want to congratulate them again. This is a Houston like really foundation HVAC company. And again, kev, they won. They were part of the Cougar 100, the best University of Houston graduate business owners. They were named Cougar 100, which is not easy. I mean, look at all the famous Cougar business people. You know Houston Cougar and for them to have been on that list is fantastic and it's a tribute to their business model. What they're doing in terms of taking care of the customer, being ready 24 seven in case of emergency, which is a huge, huge thing for people who live in Houston. We got the oven coming up at any time. We're going to be in the mid nineties to the one hundreds. They do a lot of community service. Kev, and I'm so proud of Troy and Kelly being UH graduates and being a part of that very esteemed list.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, they've got to be on that list with, like, Tillman Fertitta, and I would assume that Jim Nance would be on that. Even though he's not a business owner, he's one of the most established alumni.
Speaker 3:Man to be mentioned in those names. You're doing something right, brother. Yeah, you are, and you know. They're set up and have been taking care of Houstonians since 2005. They started the business in 05. They're coming up on their 20-year anniversary and they're all about Houston and they're all about, you know, just doing the right things in terms of making sure that they have a customer for life, not just a one-shot deal where we're going to show up and we're going to milk this thing as much as we can, and I don't care if we put them in the poor house or not, don't matter to me. I got to get the big hit here. They don't do business that way. They want you for the long term and it shows with the way they do their business.
Speaker 3:Go check them out. We got a link available in our description. We got the phone number right here on the corner of the screen. And don't forget if there's anything right now wrong with your unit and you know it you know it. If it's not being efficient, if it's not piping the cool air out like it should be, or if it's making a funny noise or something like that, the best thing to do before it starts the summer war of 2024 is to get some preventative maintenance. They got great deals in that regards Air Innovations, cougar 100, proud of y'all. That's fantastic.
Speaker 2:The war of 2024. What a long fellow right there.
Speaker 3:It is. It's coming Kev. It's catchy. Were we talking about something before then?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were talking about management and the hardest part of our day as a morning radio team. But yeah, we exhausted that topic. I think we can move on.
Speaker 3:Let's move on, because I got a direct message from Allie. She's one of our podcasts. She said she literally is worried about what people think of her because she'll do long walks and listen in her AirPods to the Tuttle Cline podcast and she just laughs maniacally and she says people look at me funny, like I'm some kind of crazy person, and so we appreciate her. Look at me funny, you know, like like I'm some kind of crazy person and uh, you know. So yeah, we appreciate her. But Allie uh, uh, moved to Houston, uh, from Cleveland five years ago.
Speaker 2:We were talking about Cleveland in our last episode.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and she, she said you know, uh, we heard. She said I heard you guys talking about the one girl that quote unquote nobody was looking for when she got kidnapped. As part of the Castro three girls in the basement kidnapping story that came to a head back in 2013. He had them down in the in the basement, in a dungeon or whatever, for for almost 10 years. Yeah Well, nine, nine to 11 years, depending on which person he was kidnapping, one per year.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And the first one that was kidnapped, that was in there the longest. I think her name was Michelle. It turned out, you know, nobody was looking for her John Walsh, America's Most Wanted. He didn't do anything with her, like he did with the others Amber and the other young lady I'm forgetting her name.
Speaker 3:Georgina, georgina, yeah. And the reason why and I want to thank Allie from Houston, who came to us from Cleveland saying the reason why is she was an adult at the time. She was the only one that was an adult. Ah, okay, yeah, she was 21 when she was kidnapped and she was having custody problems with her baby. She was having some issues and she just had a ruling that day that she wasn't going to get her baby back. So her family thought she just ran away to start a new life out of frustration. So they weren't. Nobody was really looking for her and that's why, wow.
Speaker 2:So did she ever get to? Did she ever get to be with her child after she got out of captivity?
Speaker 3:I'm glad you asked that, kev, because you know, being rabbit hole guy that I am, I actually checked into that. No, she, she, uh, sometime in the future she plans on, uh, you know, visiting. You know she, the, the baby grew up in a great home, um, you know, a foster home and then a permanent home and everything like that, and she didn't want to interfere with that. You know, hey, I'm a girl that was in the basement for 10 years and I'm your mom. You know that that can be shocking to a kid.
Speaker 2:Oh, very much so.
Speaker 3:So she said she would wait for some time in the future when the baby was, you know, more grown up. Baby's obviously an adult now, if you do the numbers Right, but probably a little bit older than Audrey late, born in the late 90s, anyway. So they'll hopefully link up sometime in the future. But, kev, here I go again. When I get that direct message it gets me thinking. You know, there's a difference in terms of how long they look for you If you're a miss, uh, missing and see. I want to see if you can get the connection here.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Um Jordan Van Sloot. Uh-huh, you know him, uh, who was the first woman he killed in Aruba, the first, the first young lady Natalie Holloway. That's correct. You knew her name and natalie holloway was from alabama, I think, birmingham that's correct now. Jordan van sleut also killed another woman from a south american country in a south american casino. Do you remember her name? Do not I don't know? Yeah, you don't. And do you even remember the country she's from?
Speaker 3:uh, not even no, peru, peru okay do you see right there, yeah, yeah, yeah, get up. Yeah, a white girl goes missing. They're, they're, they're, yeah, yeah, it's all over the place. The media is like no, no, no, we can't have this, you get some Peruvian girl. It's like, oh, ok, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:I'm following you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let me give you just follow, follow me here, bear with me here. Ok, let me give you another one. Let you off the hook here. In 1999, a small aircraft goes down off the coast of Martha's Vineyard. The most massive search in the history of the US Navy Coast Guard and everything like that was conducted. Who was on that?
Speaker 2:plane that would have been John F Kennedy Jr as the pilot.
Speaker 3:JFK Jr correct.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:And his wife and his wife's sister. Yes, okay, so you got that one Kev 10 years later, so this should be fresher on your mind, because it happened in 2009. Four Miami football players were in a boating accident and disappeared off the coast of Florida. Can you name one of the players? Can you name one of the players? No, I cannot.
Speaker 2:Yes, because they're not white. No, I cannot. Were they dolphins or were they? University of Miami.
Speaker 3:They were a couple of different universities. Oh, nope Still not South Florida Exactly, I can't even you know. I think they look for about 10 minutes.
Speaker 2:Is that what it is?
Speaker 3:I think the authorities like walk toward the edge of the sand and they're like I don't see the boat, I don't see it.
Speaker 2:Reminds me of that scene in Spaceballs Found anything yet? Nothing yet, sir. How about you? Not a thing, sir? How about you Not a thing, sir? What about you guys? We ain't found shit.
Speaker 3:The takeaway, the big takeaway let me help you out here is if you are, you know, black, hispanic, asian, and you're going to're gonna go boating or you know some kind of extensive vacay, I would take, try to take a white person or two. Let's take the same thing. Yes, take, take a caucasian, just so if something were to happen, they're not gonna like just, oh, we give up.
Speaker 2:We, hey, we couldn't find them it's sad that we're laughing about that, but it is true.
Speaker 3:I mean, tell me, tell me about it, you know, tell me it's awful. And it's not us. I mean, you know, we're not in the media anymore. No, no, I mean, if it were us, if it was Tim Tuttle and Kevin Klein, we'd search for everyone at all times.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:No matter what it cost, we wouldn't send money to Ukraine. No matter what it costs, we wouldn't send money to Ukraine. We would spend money finding all of the people who were in boating accidents and all the people that have been kidnapped. That's what we would do, because we're all about.
Speaker 2:America. Baby, that's like you got to really respect what Texas EquiSearch does. You know they they don't care, they just if somebody is missing, they go and look.
Speaker 3:I love that, I know Right. Hey, Kev, I thought of something and I need your kind of expert analysis. Let me know if I'm going too far with it. Okay, you know I spend a ton of time alone. Yes, this is like a great time of my life, Don't? Don't. Don't feel sorry. I love this. You know, whenever I want a female company, I have you know, I can, I can, I can make that happen.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:But in the meantime, I I'm doing a lot of alone time and I it just dawned on me last week that I'm alone so much that I don't have any alibis at all. I don't have any alibis at all. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so what I started to do is I'm keeping receipts for everything that I purchase.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Just so I can say you know. So it's hey Tim. Where were you when I was like well, you know, I was in Kroger. Here's, here's my receipt. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:I do know what you're saying. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because I'm kind of freaking out about it right now.
Speaker 2:It's like yeah, I have no alibis, I have nobody that would say hey, tim was with me for about 98% of my existence right now, but you would be okay because they can track your phone and they would know that you're at home or that you're at the Kroger or that you're somewhere else. So I mean, you know, I, I I don't think you have to worry about much, but it's a good idea to keep your receipts for sure.
Speaker 3:No, I, kev, I, I, I don't, I don't trust that you don't. Every I'm. I'm telling you, kev, since I like thought of this last week, every single camera, surveillance camera that I go by, I will stop and look at it and let the facial recognition software really kick in.
Speaker 2:I do Okay, but if you're spending a lot of time by yourself, who are you associating with that might be committing a crime? That might.
Speaker 3:Kev, part of the thing that I'm doing when I'm alone is watching this shit of people who don't have alibis. I'm on, I'm on the true crime thing. That's I. That's why I love your podcast. Your, uh, your other podcast oh, thanks buddy yeah, the the fuzzy mike, yeah, I, I'm into. I'm into true crime and you know, one of the things I'm seeing is there's a lot of innocent dudes who, just because they are alone and don't have an alibi, they're sitting in a in a cage.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know, I know, I do know.
Speaker 3:So you know, I even signed up for State Farm's Drive Safe and Save, did you? Yeah, I don't. I don't give a fuck about saving four dollars a month, I want to be.
Speaker 2:Hey look, I was on the road and that's my phone, you know. So, in in search of an alibi, you are now acquiescing to big brother. I never thought I'd see the day I.
Speaker 3:It's terrible, it's awful and I never would have done that, and I part of me is ashamed of me for doing that, but man, I, I could be easily framed man and you wouldn't do well in prison.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, I'm yeah.
Speaker 3:Just look in the mirror.
Speaker 2:I don't, I don't know man. You know, I would not take a dump the whole time I was there. You're going to be an uncomfortable son of a bitch Then.
Speaker 3:I would, I would just, I would just tell them I go, look, man, if you need to fuck that you yeah, I mean, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know exactly what you're saying, yeah.
Speaker 3:So there it is. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not taking it. I mean, I'm doing what I'm doing. I'll do what it takes to keep that cherry Kevi.
Speaker 2:To keep that cherry. Very nice, very nice.
Speaker 3:No, I actually thought about it, Like what kind of you know, say something were to happen to you, Kev, what kind of prisoner would you be? I mean, you would probably be somebody's bitch real quick.
Speaker 2:No, I will unequivocally tell you this, and I am not bullshitting in the slightest If I were ever sentenced to prison, I would kill myself Really. Oh yes, sir, I am not spending a minute in jail. I could, because you just said it, tim, I wouldn't last. No, I wouldn't last. I'm not a fighter, I hate conflict. So the first person that came over to me and shanked me, they would get me.
Speaker 3:Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I just wouldn't do it.
Speaker 3:Or you'd probably do the whole. You know, keep the car engine running in the garage before you had to go to the court date or something right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there you go, yep, Yep, yeah, you just want to get out of park.
Speaker 3:I don't know what the hell the deal was. I don't know what happened. I knew it. The uh, the exhaust had exhumed and overwhelmed me. Damn it, I really wanted to go to court and have a judge say guilty.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right.
Speaker 3:I really wanted that to happen. I thought I had a shot. I thought I had a shot, yeah, yeah, I would probably be.
Speaker 1:Uh the plan guy you know it's like.
Speaker 3:It's like hey man, I know I'm decent looking and you probably want to fuck me in the ass. But if you decide not to do that, you know I appreciate if you wouldn't do that.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be thinking the whole time of how I'm going to get us all out of here and he will be thinking about it the whole time.
Speaker 3:Oh, I will. I'm that guy. I mean, there's every single prison situation there is a weak spot, and I will find the weak spot and I'll exploit it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but I also think, though, that you would, because you're a natural leader. I also think, though, that you would, because you're a natural leader, okay, and I also I think, because of that and because of your ability to bullshit, you would be probably somebody that would be able to commandeer the block.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think, I think that I think you're right. I, I I had a friend of mine years ago say thank God you're not Italian Tuttle. You probably would have been like a mafia, don.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I probably would have been.
Speaker 2:You have an affinity for mafioso.
Speaker 3:I mean la familia. I probably would have been, but I'd have been like the righteous, cool Don, hey, hey, no heroin. We're not going to deal with that soul-killing stuff. We're going to stick to the book, the gambling, the women. We're going to stick to the hijacking. We'll do a lot of that hijacking.
Speaker 2:Well, Tim's always said if he were a politician, he would just want to be a 10-year righteous dictator and it's always righteous.
Speaker 3:Because all I would do is get us back to where our forefathers originally had us going. I would just say, I mean, I would just say it'll take me 10 years because I got to get rid of the massive bureaucracy that's a Leviathan and that's just set up now to protect this massive criminal machine. That's all it is. It would take me a while to get all the reforms necessary. I just need 10 years and then I would walk away and retire.
Speaker 2:You realize, the oxymoron in all of this is there has never been a righteous dictator.
Speaker 3:Yes, kevin, you got to remember too that I put the moron in oxymoron Just like I put the fist in pacifist. Yes, he does. Yeah, I know A lot of people say, hey, you can start off all, and there's actually probably some Congress people and everything like that that start off with the righteous mind frame, and then you get caught in that. Look at all the freebies and all the that that start off with the righteous mind frame. And then you get caught in that look at all the freebies and all the shit that we can do yeah, they say the ultimate power corrupts ultimate yeah, power.
Speaker 3:Uh, what is it?
Speaker 2:absolute power corrupts absolutely yes, that's it absolute, not ultimate how cool is that that's nice, that's good, I pulled that out of nowhere, hey Kev. Yes, sir.
Speaker 3:I just want to tell you that Home Video Rescue, our good friend Chris, wants everybody to know that. You know they can take the stuff that they have in their archives, in their storage, in their attic, in their basement, wherever you have it, that's on VHS, on beta, on eight millimeter, on DVDs, all that stuff, and he can turn it into digital. Okay, and there's a lot of people I know a lot of you had that your best Christmas ever in in 1984. You got all those cabbage patch kids and you were so pumped up and you know, mom, mom uh was actually being nice and dad wasn't drinking that much and it was a great, it was, it was a great morning and you have that.
Speaker 3:But the problem is it's on vhs and it's 40 years ago and you have it right there and you have that. But the problem is it's on VHS and it's 40 years ago and you have it right there and you don't have a VHS player. And you're like I want to show my kids this. You know, because we used to, we used to all wear the red, you know footy jumper, and we used to. We dad used to do twas the night before Christmas, you know, right before we went to bed and before he got drunk and slurred the words, and you want to pass those memories on to generations after you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do. And talking about home video rescue and talking about you needing an alibi, we were watching a Canadian program the other night called the Republic of Doyle and in it a criminal they're private investigators and in it a criminal had irrefutable proof on a VHS that he did not commit the crime. Guess what? The VHS was broke.
Speaker 3:Oh, you're kidding me.
Speaker 2:No, the VHS tape was broken and I turned to Trish my wife and I said home video rescue, he would have his alibi.
Speaker 3:The last thing I want to do is tell anybody hey, have your stuff digitalized and set up forever on the cloud by going to home video rescue, because if you don't, you're going to go to prison for a long time.
Speaker 2:I don't want to say that. No, you don't want to say that. No, you don't want to say that. But just in case, exactly.
Speaker 3:It wouldn't hurt, would it? No, it would not. I mean, you know that I guess that's a theme of today's podcast. You gotta have an alibi. So we have, uh, we have a link, uh available in the description of this podcast for Home Video Rescue. Go check them out. Chris is a great guy and he's standing by and he can quickly turn your stuff over into digital, no matter what medium you have.
Speaker 2:Thanks, Chris.
Speaker 3:Kev. Can you believe this? How's this for a time freakout. You ready for this? Okay, I'm ready, I'm bracing myself oj simpson murdered nicole simpson and ron goldman well, he was acquitted 30 years ago he was acquitted. Yeah, but the civil suit they found him liable, so there's two different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was acquitted, but you know, of course, he wrote a If I Did it and described in detail exactly what actually happened at the crime scene, with shocking, shocking detail.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, very, very detailed. So 30 years ago.
Speaker 3:So 30 years ago, yeah, 30 years ago, and I don't know if you've seen it or not. I've seen starting to see that some of the networks, particularly the true crime networks, have new specials coming out. What could be new they're starting to. One of the things is they're starting to query the jury.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:And you know, one of the jurors on a little clip that I saw like a little promo tease clip, like a really large black lady that she she was answering a question about the jury just completely disregarding the blood evidence which made it mathematically impossible for it to be anybody else on the planet but OJ Simpson.
Speaker 2:And her response was we all got blood.
Speaker 3:That was the response. Yeah, uh-huh. And then she said, hey, all that matters is if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit. That's all she could say. There you go, and that's all. Those jurors remember it is Johnny Cochran had this killer rhyme right here it makes no sense, it doesn't fit.
Speaker 2:If it doesn't fit, you must acquit. Yeah, yep, so do you think it was a matter that they did, just didn't understand the DNA evidence that Barry Sheck was providing?
Speaker 3:providing. Let me tell you this. Well, actually, barry sheck was knew it was dangerous and he was trying to mess with the chain of evidence, oh to to infer that they, they could have planted that blood you know, oj's blood when he had the sample, barry sheck was, uh, on the defense side. But they, they, just if you remember, back in 1994, 95, when this was all going down, um, that dna was new, brand new. We didn't understand, you know, a lot of people didn't. Oh shit, man. So now they can nail, not just narrow you down from blood type, you know, they can like, they got you your exact, your exact fingerprint is now in the dna. So they didn't understand that. So it was all new.
Speaker 3:But that jury, kev, they were just down with the song and dance man, you got to have a rhyme. So I was thinking that it would have been really, really good if Darden or Marsha Clark, if they would have had their own rhyme. They should have figured that out right away, because you can even see the jurors response when johnny whipped out that rhyme. Oh yeah, they were like whoa. So that young, they still had a last say, you know that, that they could pull. And to me, kev. Yes, I would have got up there and I would have said the blood evidence makes it easy to say the only motherfucker with a knife that night was the dude in front of you OJ Wow.
Speaker 2:Guilty Right there. Damn. 30 years too late, buddy, 30 years too late.
Speaker 3:Kev. I might have done a little bit of a you know little record scratch with it too.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I would have said Marcia Clark, give me a beat. She's got a ball cap back.
Speaker 2:There you go. We're going gonna win this thing, man see, but it wouldn't you have. Like his, like, like johnny cochran was, if the glove don't fit, you must have quit. I mean, it's quick, it's, it's right to the point. So you know, you want to, you want to get there, like know, if you can't dispute the DNA, then he's got to go away. I know.
Speaker 3:No, I can't, I don't. That is the whitest motherfucking shit I have ever heard. What you just did.
Speaker 2:If you can't dispute the DNA, then he's got to go away.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's great. Hey, OK, I got to go check on my portfolio now. Yeah, listen up over there, encyclopedia Brown, wow do it one more time, one more time, okay if you can't dispute the DNA, then you gotta put the cat away. Yeah, that's lame and you try to get a little street by saying cat yeah, yeah, exactly that's why I'm not a prosecutor that's so funny.
Speaker 3:I could just sit, I could just see you in your suspenders and your your time, my bow tie my bow, hey, hey guys I want, hey, hey, everybody, I want y'all listen up. I got really cool thing to drop on you. Wow, yeah, hey, marcia, just trust me, I'm really cool with the black folk.
Speaker 2:They're down with me, they're down with me. I used to be a statistician for the high school basketball team.
Speaker 3:That's awesome. Very, very funny. Do you ever Kev? You know OJ's got his own Twitter or X, or whatever they call it now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, we used to love watching those.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, they still do it. I checked with it last week again because of the 30th anniversary and I was just curious hey, what's OJF doing?
Speaker 2:And it's the same thing.
Speaker 3:Gav, no matter what he posts people in the comments, he can't read the comments, boy. That's great, that's that's that's great advice about the 49ers not being able to find a way to win the big one. By the way, have you?
Speaker 2:yeah, the comments are what you go for oh my god, it's.
Speaker 3:There's no way, because he wouldn't do him anymore, he would not, he would not post anymore.
Speaker 2:If he read the comments oh no, I I think he would. I think he would because I think he is so. I think he's told himself for so long that you know he didn't do it. He firmly believes that he didn't do it and I think that the the narcissism in him would say, yeah, okay, I got away with it.
Speaker 3:I'm still pissing him off oh, you think so you're right you know, right, yeah, he probably. He probably gets off on those comments. Yes, yeah because, it's like I beat the system. Dude, that's right.
Speaker 3:Uh, good point, man, I don't know good point this is what I think yeah, but uh, get, get ready, because it was June of 1994. So in a couple of months you're going to be seeing all of the OJ stuff again. They're getting all ramped up and prepped and ready to go, especially since they need to turn things really into racial stuff right before the election. They have to do that.
Speaker 2:Didn't his low-speed chase, didn't that interrupt an NBA playoff game?
Speaker 3:NBA finals man, it was the Rockets, it was the Rockets. The people in Houston were watching their Rockets win their first title. You know, michael was off playing baseball and the Rockets were in the series where they won the world championship and literally three quarters of the game gone, wiped from the map here in Houston for Rockets fans, man yeah.
Speaker 2:I knew there was an important sporting event going on.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they interrupted and they're like, hey, we're just going to follow this right here, cause everybody in the world is locked onto this, and that was like the first real, like live as as it was happening, true crime case that we all really got into, wasn't it?
Speaker 3:oh, they called it the trial of the century called it the trial of the century yeah, I mean everybody's hanging on every word that anybody that was a witness, you know. Like kato kaelin became an international superstar with a record deal and she, you know yeah. Faye Resnick and all that stuff you know AC alcoholings. Ac. Ac started his own line of uh lunch boxes and thermoses. Hi, I'm AC. I'm OJ's friend when I'm not driving around a fugitive from justice. I am making sure that my lunch stays cool with my new ac lunchbox. It's a collector's item, kev uh-huh.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's crazy what collectors will pay for things um, yeah, hey, oh.
Speaker 3:Speaking of which, since, uh, we're talking about big events. Now, this is going to air on Wednesday, so it already happened, but when we're recording this podcast, we're two hours away now. Kev from the eclipse.
Speaker 2:Yes, the total solar eclipse.
Speaker 3:What is the Okay? So this is a total solar eclipse of the heart.
Speaker 2:It's eclipse of the heart. Thank you, Bonnie Tyler.
Speaker 3:Turn around bright eyes. Oh, one of the greatest songs he's Clips of the Heart. Thank you, bonnie Tyler. Turn around bright eyes.
Speaker 2:Oh, one of the greatest songs he's ever sang.
Speaker 3:Turn around.
Speaker 2:Are you guys in the path of totality?
Speaker 3:Yeah, we got a pretty good one, but the problem is we are very overcast in Houston today.
Speaker 2:So are we in Missouri?
Speaker 3:I'm not going to be able to see it, am I?
Speaker 2:No, probably not. I mean mean depends on the thickness of the clouds. Our clouds are not as thick, so they're optimistic. That because the path of totality is about uh 40 miles from where we are I just when you say that I was the path of totality. Yeah, you gotta have your, you gotta have your voice. Guy do it so how?
Speaker 3:So how often does today's event happen, like once every 400 years or something like that?
Speaker 2:No, actually there's a guy in Texas who is 105 years old and he has had 13 total eclipses in his lifetime. Wow, yep, he will see it today and that'll be his 13th.
Speaker 3:Okay, so ballparking it it's once every eight years, or something like that. Yeah, something like that. Yep, he will. He will see it today and that'll be his 13th. Okay, so a ballparking it it's once. It once every eight years, or something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 3:Okay, so it's not that big of a deal.
Speaker 2:I'm not even. I am scratching my head as to why this is a big deal. Why are they showing this live?
Speaker 3:on TV. Well, they need some kind of diversion from the criminality. Ah, okay, this is like hey. Forget about all the shit we're doing that you're catching us for look at the eclipse.
Speaker 2:yeah, so if you're not familiar with what's happening today, with the eclipse and again this is recorded on monday uh, the earth, the moon and the sun will be in perfect alignment. So the moon will be between the earth and sun and it'll be blocking out the sun, and it's a rarity, yeah.
Speaker 3:Once every eight, nine years, though that's not that big of a freaking deal.
Speaker 2:I think the last time was in 2017. And the only reason I know that is because the nurse that uh, uh, um, check me in this morning to my little doctor appointment, Uh, she said, yeah, my son was born in 2017, the last time there was a total eclipse.
Speaker 3:Oh really.
Speaker 2:That's what she told me.
Speaker 3:And it was 2017.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's like seven years.
Speaker 3:Okay, let me ask you this then Do you remember when we were little kids? We were little kids and the one that, like, turned the day into darkness.
Speaker 2:That's what. That's the one I remember.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the only one I really remember too, too, like it was. It came in the middle of the day and I don't know what that is. I don't remember exactly what that is. That like a, like a that was. That was a complete I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't even know what it's called but they're saying that it's going to happen again at this time because it's going to be in perfect um sink.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like lined up but we won't be able to see the darkness because wait a minute, you can't see darkness. Is it going to be dark here in two hours?
Speaker 2:They're saying that, yes, there will be darkness.
Speaker 3:Awesome, that's cool. That's kind of similar to what we had, cause that's the only one I remember, kev, you know we were. We were both little kids, little boys in the Midwest when, yes, when that one happened, and literally middle of the day it was a clear, sunny day where I was in Indiana Probably same thing for you in Missouri, yes and suddenly it was dark, and then you watched it go from complete darkness to slowly lighting up again.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah that was cool.
Speaker 1:I remember it totally.
Speaker 3:I don't remember that happening, since we were little kids, so I was thinking that was the big one we were looking for. So you're saying that that one is the one we're going to have today, that's the one. Oh shit, okay, so this is kind of a bigger deal. Yeah, it's a bigger deal, but well then, what happened seven years ago, when that's just a little minimal, little little? Uh, you minimal, a little partial.
Speaker 2:No, Seven years ago there was a total. That's what the lady said.
Speaker 3:Why don't we remember it? Blotting out the day.
Speaker 2:I don't even remember it, I really don't. I just remember, like you said, the one when we were young kids, second or third grade maybe, and why can't I buy bread at Kroger today?
Speaker 3:Oh, is it all gone, all gone. What is up?
Speaker 2:with that?
Speaker 3:I don't know what is going on with that?
Speaker 2:there's always a run on bread and toilet paper I I, you know I I'm a bread guy.
Speaker 3:I like to have my bread uh-huh and there was no bread and I'm like and I asked, I said you got, he said no, we had to go in the back and bring it all out. Here. People are there's a run on it because of the eclipse. I was like what? The eclipse is going to last like a couple hours and it's over. Yeah, wow, are people thinking? Well, I tell you what. The only way I'm going to live through.
Speaker 2:This one is a peanut butter and jelly fucking sandwich. Or is everybody going picnicking to see the eclipse? I don't know if you, you got to make sandwiches I.
Speaker 3:I saw somebody who got there right before I did it and they had eight loaves of bread in their basket and I'm like that's a hell of a picnic yeah yeah, you know a lot. I don't get it. I don't understand it. Cav, I know, do I? Yeah, and bread is a perishable.
Speaker 2:So if you don't understand it, cav Nor do I. Yeah, and bread is a perishable, so if you don't plan on eating it right away, it will grow mold, exactly.
Speaker 3:Exactly why did you do that? I mean, even if we have end of times next Wednesday, it's all over for the bread. Mm-hmm, and there you are.
Speaker 2:You got people knocking on your door wanting to kill you and rob you and all you have to give them is moldy bread.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they're not going to be too happy about that. So they're going to torture you because you bought too much bread at grover. I don't know how we got there. Hey, kev, let's do this. We didn't do it last week. We need to do it again. I love it. Let's do a. Uh, tuttleline top three.
Speaker 1:Just when you thought they couldn't count any higher. It's Tuttle Cline's top three.
Speaker 2:Are you ready? Yes, your top three. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3:Top three ways to die. If you can script out the scenario, oh wow, top three ways to go. If God came to you and said Kevin, I like you, you've done good here with all the children's and the pediatric cancer and the running and all that shit, I'm gonna let you choose your way out uh, okay, um geez, this could get a little morbid.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, you think and this is not a therapy session for Klein but uh, you drink yourself into a stupor, okay, until you pass out, and then you put a plastic bag over your head. Well, why? Well, because you're not going to feel it, and then you're just going to suffocate. You're already drunk and passed out, and then you have the bag over what?
Speaker 3:that's suffocating is no way to go, man you're not gonna.
Speaker 2:You're not gonna feel it, though, because you're already passed out from drinking that's the first one you come up with.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm scared of the next two man uh, the next two.
Speaker 2:you could either do uh a um, well, this is interesting, and you're gonna be like, wow, climb, what rabbit hole were you down? Uh, a cyanide pill. Or you could take like 1,000 apple seeds and crush them up, because supposedly, somebody who's 180 pounds, if you did 200 apple seeds crushed up, that's the equivalent of one cyanide pill, is it really? Yeah, that's what I read. Now, I don't think so. I think you need more than a 200.
Speaker 3:And what is the exact poison that is made from that Cyanide? Cyanide, so that's homemade cyanide from apple seeds Apple seeds yes, Shit.
Speaker 2:And then the third way I would want a sniper to separate my aorta. Well, you're not going to feel that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, what if that sniper though just that day, you know had the coffee shakes and was just missing a little bit? You're like you, dick man. Yeah, you said you could do this in one shot but you remember george uh over at uh hpd swat he said that's the shot.
Speaker 2:The shot is to separate their aorta.
Speaker 3:Um and also, and I got this one from um um, miguel Navy seal. Oh, yeah, yeah, uh, right there, medulla, bye-bye.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 3:That's why the headshot was always so good Cause if you get, if you hit, do the aorta shot, they can still shoot at the hostage they have. Oh okay, whereas the medulla obligata yeah, I could be wrong on this if you're swat or if you're navy seal, if you're a sniper or whatever, if you go, you know, if you go right there, they can't even squeeze the trigger. Oh wow, I mean, they're just it's. But yeah, I kept you remember when we did the uh, we did the uh. Houston PD SWAT.
Speaker 2:I totally remember that.
Speaker 3:That was awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you and Erica were just going head to toe. Uh, with the, with the sniper shooting.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she beat me, she actually beat. I had a great shot, I nailed it. She had one that was really close, like the the Modula Obligata shot, but but but to me the best, best was the when we went into the hostage warehouse. Yeah, you know, there there was a, there was a warehouse with a hostage in it and then there was a bunch of bad guys that you had to shoot. The bad guys were like, yeah, that you had to shoot and I killed everything like quicker than they had ever seen. The only problem is I killed the hostage too. Yes, yeah, he's not kidding when he says he killed everybody in the in the room.
Speaker 2:They're they're than they had ever seen. The only problem is I killed the hostage too. Yes, yeah, he's not kidding when he says he killed everybody in the room. Yeah, they're mannequins that come up, you know yeah.
Speaker 3:They're mannequins that pop up on you, yeah, but you know it's still because of that day. It's still a standing thing with Houston SWAT is, if they're ever in a situation where they have to kill every motherfucker in the building, they will call me. Yes, tuttle's our man. Just anything moving, tuttle go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a record time for the amount of time it took somebody to get rid of their complete magazine of bullets.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I went through it like Tackleberry on Police Academy. Remember that Come with me, come with me. That's what I said to the SWAT guy with the clipboard. As soon as they got me ready to go, I said come with me I can't remember, was that in?
Speaker 2:was that in darkness? Did they do that? Yeah?
Speaker 3:yeah, it's hardcore training yeah, it's, it's. They had darkness and they had some strobe action. Yeah, trying to throw you off, yeah and that's why I killed the hostage, I mean I saw something coming at me. It was the hostage saying thank you, you saved me. And that's why I killed the hostage. I mean, I saw something coming at me. It was the hostage saying thank you, you saved me, and I was like oh, you're welcome.
Speaker 3:You're welcome I'm so sorry, man. I'll tell your, your family, that you were happy for a moment, yeah you made it.
Speaker 2:What would be your three ways?
Speaker 3:Obviously Kev, because I'm a douche and I'm that guy Making sweet love to a beautiful woman and your heart explodes at climax oh, okay, yeah, like I said, mine were really grim. Yeah, yours were grim that would be a good way to go out. Yeah, and you know I have a hero complex, maybe saving a kid from being kidnapped or something like that, oh, okay. Yeah, so you know they could. Oh, he was a hero, you know.
Speaker 2:Uh huh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, I don't want to, I don't want to be dead. I love life. But if I had to be dead, it'd be like I like people say oh yeah. Yeah, he was a dick on the radio and on stage when he did his comedy, but he was a hero. He was, yeah, saved a life, gave up his to save a life, and you know this one Kev, killing tyrannical fascists, defending my God-given rights handed to me by the sacrifices of my ancestors and doing it for my children and grandchildren.
Speaker 2:That'll look good on the epitaph.
Speaker 3:Better get a big stone for that one.
Speaker 2:It says continued on back for sure. Oh, it's funny. Oh, man, that is. That is.
Speaker 3:This has been a really funny episode, hasn't it? Yeah, are we done? We're not done, are we?
Speaker 2:no, we're not done, I'm just saying well, we've been cracking ourselves up.
Speaker 3:Holy shit, man. We we have been talking for a little while. Jesus man, where does the time go when we do this?
Speaker 2:It's because we're just having fun you know?
Speaker 3:Yeah, really is. Yeah. Hey, kev, real quick, do me a favor and stall. I'm going to go turn up the fan a little bit. I'm getting to heat it up in here a little bit.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, yeah, so we're going to stall. What's the interesting thing about this little top three that we just rattled through Top three ways you wouldn't want to die, I mean, you know, yeah, it's a little morbid, a little grim, but it totally takes on our personality, where, you know, tim is the eternal optimist and I'm the eternal realist. That's what I say. The eternal realist, it's more pessimism than anything, and mine are really dark and grim and Tim's are like, yeah, I'd like to go out having sex being a hero being a hero having sex, being a patriot and making sure my kids get freedoms and shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but there's the personality difference. Kevin put a plastic bag around my head. What the fuck, man? If you see Clint going to an orchard, get him to a medical health.
Speaker 3:He's stocking up on the apples.
Speaker 2:If you're in a grocery store anywhere in the United States of America, and you see Kevin Klein with 10 bushels of apples. He ain't making no fucking pie.
Speaker 3:Exactly, oh my God, oh my God, exactly, oh my god, oh my god, yeah, yeah, if you would have been the perfect, walter white, you'd have made that ricin and stuff like that, yeah, right from baking bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, great series. Golly, what a great series best ever.
Speaker 3:Um hey kev, you know my little brother Todd.
Speaker 2:It's hard for me to wrap my head around my little brother when he's so accomplished in what he's done.
Speaker 3:Well, it's just because I'm four inches taller than him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, but you're, you're older than him too, right?
Speaker 3:18 months. Yeah, he's my. He's kind of Irish twins. My parents were so thrilled that I came along. They're like holy shit, we got to do that again. Yeah, no, I think they were like this one's fucked up.
Speaker 2:That's what I was getting ready to say.
Speaker 3:We got drunk, this game man. I mean, look at him, he's like trying to catch flies with his tongue sitting there on the ground, little fucker. Anyway, my, my brother, todd um, he is, uh, a retired colonel, us army black hawk helicopter pilot mm-hmm and you know tours of duty combat veteran and he right now is, I think, in week three or something like that of uh, warrior expeditions, appalachian trail, six month hike.
Speaker 2:That's crazy yeah, what he's doing is no joke, okay. So if you're not familiar with the Appalachian trail, it's AT for short. Um, it starts in Georgia and it ends in Vermont or New Hampshire or Maine. It goes all the way along the East coast and I want to say that it's over 100,000 feet of elevation gain. You're going through the smoky mountains.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and he's like, like I said, said I think he's somewhere around day 14 or something like that and he's getting sore and everything. I I love it because he's doing posts, um and everything, uh, logging where he's been. I mean, he finished the first state last week, he got through georgia, all of georgia, and now, uh, you know he's in uh Carolina. Yeah, I think I can't remember Georgia, south Carolina, I'm trying to think of the map right now. Yeah, whatever, and he's going up the Appalachian Trail and he's doing it for a worthy cause. This is for Warrior Expeditions dot org and there'll be a link in the description that Kevin will put in there.
Speaker 3:Thanks for doing that, kev. Sure, it's a great program. That, kev, sure, it's a great program. I mean they take combat veterans and they get to go out on these expeditions, which is really awesome for their mentally, for the brotherhood, the contemplation during either the hike that they do or they do a long bike ride or they do a long paddling on rivers for like weeks and weeks and weeks, and gives them a chance to think things through and talk things through with fellow combat veterans. It is so beneficial to the mental health and I love that my brother is doing this and, if I know Kev, I would have to say that 95% of the people who listen to this podcast are huge patriots that are really down with our soldiers and what they've done for us and what they continue to do for us. It doesn't matter if you have $5, $10, $20, whatever you have If you could donate it to warriorexpeditionsorg. This is so beneficial for the uh, for the vets.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a phenomenal outlet. You know the. The statistic is 22, uh veterans a day commit suicide and a lot more suffer from PTSD and from uh mental health issues after having seen combat and and and been in uh firefights and stuff like that. So, yeah, you're helping so so many people who have put their lives on the line for us to be able to have these freedoms.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you know, just imagine, I mean Kev, you and I, for an hour hour and a half a week. We get this therapy of the podcast.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And we're not even we're not even like combat vets. We haven't seen or heard or have memories of the things that Right, and we're not even. We're not even like a combat vets. We haven't seen or heard or have memories of the things that they have memories of. If they can go away on the Appalachian trail together for six months and talk things through it, that's so good for their hearts and their souls and their minds and I just love that program. But obviously that costs money.
Speaker 2:Sure it does all the equipment.
Speaker 3:See, when they bring a combat vet out there, they feed them, they have, they supply them and all that stuff and the vet's just there going through the experience and I think it's just amazing.
Speaker 2:Well, the what? The scenery that they're going to see is absolutely spectacular. Um, but again, we're talking about 2,400 to 2,600 miles of hiking.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's going to take six months.
Speaker 2:I was just going to ask how long is that going to take?
Speaker 3:Six continuous months. My brother, who is a genius, gets out of the house for six months. I could see my sister-in-law, jenny, going fuck you. Yeah right, fuck you, tim. You always were the troublemaker.
Speaker 2:Is she going to go out and meet him along the way?
Speaker 3:I'd imagine. I'd imagine. She is an amazing wife and very supportive woman. All that Todd has been through, she's been with him 100% of the way, right behind him.
Speaker 2:What kind of training did he do for this?
Speaker 3:Because you just don't wake up one day and go, I'm gonna hike 2400 miles, you gotta. You gotta get your feet and stuff prepared. Well, most people need extensive training. My brother, though, he's todd tuttle. I mean, yeah, he's, yeah, he just he puts on the game face, that's what, what he does.
Speaker 2:Is he doing it in combat boots or are they wearing some comfortable shoes?
Speaker 3:I've seen different kinds of shoes in his pictures. It just depends on what the terrain of the day is.
Speaker 2:Right yeah.
Speaker 3:Because they assess everything and they're like okay, I'm going to need to be able to do this today, because it's this much incline and may have some rain and you know.
Speaker 2:So I think it varies so do they have a support vehicle that is following them with supplies and stuff, or are they rucking this whole thing?
Speaker 3:what do I look like? Dude fucking faq no, I. I just I thought, maybe you might know maybe we could get todd on the satellite phone and have a chat with him.
Speaker 2:Oh, that'd be awesome.
Speaker 3:Let's do it. I'll see if he can do it for the next podcast, if we can have a quick chat with Todd.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that'd be awesome, that'd be great, totally cool.
Speaker 3:As long as he agrees not to give up too many goods on our childhood upbringing there.
Speaker 2:You're pretty candid about that. I don't think he could tell us anything that you wouldn't.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, and some of it, I think, mortifies Audrey and Jonas Probably so. Dad, you're like on stage at stand-up comedy talking about your penis size.
Speaker 3:You can go to the bathroom on that one boys, speaking of which, yes, yeah, um, this is being done on monday late am, early afternoon. This podcast, uh, tomorrow evening, uh, tuesday night, I will be at the houston improv in front of a decent size audience and, ke Kev, I'm truly amazed. I made the post last week. The number of people who bought tickets, I've seen, I've seen the people who responded to come and see me. They, you know some of them, have gotten. You know tables of six, tables of four, you know tables of two, some people individually. But I'm just so appreciative People that I've never met, people that I don't even know, that are just fans of this podcast and were fans of the radio show when we were on it are just like, oh my man, I got to see Tim Tuttle on stage doing comedy.
Speaker 2:There you go, yeah, and hopefully you'll be able to hit record this time, or at least have somebody there.
Speaker 3:I'm going to, I'm going to actually reach out to, to somebody who's gonna be there and I'm just gonna say, hey, do me a favor, record it for me and you know, and send it to me afterwards. But I I've had a couple people who are comedians, uh, reach out to me, uh-huh, and there's, they're kind of, you know, I guess, throwing doubt in my head why like how well, they're just like hey man, this is a different beast man and you know, it's really like, really like your first time.
Speaker 3:I mean a couple open mics, that's nothing. Now you're the bright lights of the improv with a lineup of killers.
Speaker 3:You know houston comedians that are killers uh-huh you know you put, you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself and then you, you're advertising on social media that you're doing it. I mean, tim, we listen to the podcast. We remember you from 93 Q. You are a great conversationalist wit. You are comedic in a forum with an ensemble cast. This is a different beast entirely. That is what I don't know, and I don't know if they're trying to plant that in my head to freak me out.
Speaker 2:Listen, you know this as well as anybody Comedians don't like competition.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's cutthroat.
Speaker 2:It is very cutthroat and if they can eliminate one competitor, then you know that's what they're trying to do. But look, hey, I don't remember what NCAA basketball coach it was, but he took his team they were in the final four took his team into the arena you know, because they played those final fours in football stadiums and he had them walk the perimeter of the court and he said it's just a basketball court, it's no different, it's just a stage. It's no different, it's just a stage, it's no different.
Speaker 3:Well, that's from Hoosiers with Gene Hackman.
Speaker 2:Is that what it was?
Speaker 3:Remember he had the Hickory team because they were freaking out there in Hinkle Fieldhouse, which was huge in comparison to what they played out in the sticks in Indiana, and he, just he measured hey, what is that rim? It's 10 feet Yep. Same and he just he measured hey, what is that rim? It's 10 feet, yep, same as in Hickory. And how far is the free throw line? 15 feet, same as in Hickory.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Buddy, hold this end of the back for me what is it?
Speaker 3:15 feet?
Speaker 2:15 feet Put.
Speaker 3:Ollie on your shoulders.
Speaker 2:Measure this from the rim buddy. How far? 10 feet, 10 feet.
Speaker 1:I think you'll find it's exact same measurements as our gym back in Hickory. How far? 10 feet, 10 feet.
Speaker 2:I think you'll find it's the exact same measurements as our gym back in Hickory. Yeah, that's where I got it from. Okay, yeah, it's just a stage.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's right, it's a microphone. I'm used to having a microphone. I'm used to talking in front of people, you see my thought.
Speaker 2:But the thing is you're not going to see them. You know you'll see the front row and that is it. That's it, that's it.
Speaker 3:It's all spotlight you, the lights blind you and yeah, and you're uh, you know, and, and the way I look at it is this is I have to do this at least one time. I mean, I, I will not, I will not be able to live with myself if I don't at least do this one time as a bucket list type thing. I have to do it. But in terms of my material, I'm very confident in the material. I think it's funny, it is, and as long as I can deliver it, it'll get laughs and it's going to be the same thing up on that stage that it was during my 26 years of doing morning radio with Kevin Kline. If I can make Kevin Kline laugh, that'll represent a large enough part of the audience where I will get the feedback necessary and it'll be fun. You know what I'm saying I know.
Speaker 3:A packed crowd at the improv is 450 people.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 3:And if 10% of them you know 45 of them have the same sense of humor as Kevin Kline, that's going to fill the room with enough laughter where I'm going to be good.
Speaker 2:You're going to be good regardless. Your material is strong. You're going to be good regardless. Your material is strong. You're well rehearsed. You've done it already a few times on stage. You're not going to have a problem. Don't worry about what those cats were saying. You're going to be all right. It's called Houston AF, right? Yeah?
Speaker 3:Houston AF is the name of the show Bunch of Houston comedians and I'm going to you know Raymond said I'm just going to be introduced. This is Evel Knievel, right here. He's either going to land it or he's going to crash.
Speaker 2:Do you know any of the other comedians who are on the bill?
Speaker 3:I don't know their specific names, I would any list. Uh, I don't know the specific names. I would I any list, though I would know them I haven't seen. I haven't seen the list, no that guys have yet.
Speaker 2:No, but these are professionals, these are guys who have, guys who have done it before. Yes, okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this'll be good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, this'll be, this'll be great, and I'm just going to do my thing. You know, that's all you can do, and and and kev I. There's one little change that I made. I'm not gonna do that. The the democrat thing. I've changed it. Um, instead of uh, you know, ripping on uh, democrats uh-huh I, I basically will say um, yeah, uh, three-year-olds have tiny little penises. You may not know that if you're not a parent or a producer of a show on Nickelodeon, oh wow.
Speaker 2:Okay, yes, the Drake Bell, yes, yeah, okay, yeah, very timely, very topical Cool.
Speaker 3:You like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there won't be any of them in the audience, so you can just see.
Speaker 3:I can just see, damn it. I'm from nickelodeon. I was here scouting you, tuttle. We were going to give you a contract oh, that's a good one. That, yeah, that, that, that, that'll, that'll be good okay that's the only, that's the only change, and I I've rehearsed it. I just need to deliver it slowly and concisely. You know, one of one of my issues is I get jacked up and sometimes could get too quick. Uh-huh, I just need to do it slow and smooth and pause after my punches, let them laugh and then move on.
Speaker 3:Boom, boom, boom deep breath and yeah, yeah, my son's a big fan of Thomas the tank engine, his favorite character, percy. Yeah, I take him to Target. He goes running straight for the toy section screaming I want Percy, I want Percy. Of course, as a three-year-old he struggled with his R's Calm and cool.
Speaker 2:Nice pace, very good pace.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the only thing that I can see. Tripping me up is you get so jacked up and that was one issue I had with one of my open mics as I was, because I could hear the clock right, but I don't have a clock at the improv no huh.
Speaker 2:So uh, one way to uh, you know one way to combat that is take a bottle of water up there, put it on the little uh stool and if you think you're going too fast, take, take a sip.
Speaker 3:Good, good idea, and there's nothing wrong with pauses either. Not at all. One of the things that I noticed is, if I do a pause and I can hear absolute silence, I know I've got them because they're hanging on my words.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 3:You know, yeah. And I'll actually pause on purpose here and there throughout the six minutes. It's about six minutes and I'll here and there just to see if anybody's carrying on a conversation and I don't have some people's attention.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And then go rip them if I have to.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm just going to do it, man, evil Knievel, I'm going to land it or I'm going to fucking crash and burn like Caesar's Palace.
Speaker 2:You're going to kill it, You're going to knock it out of the ballpark and then Raymond's going to ask you hey, man, when can you host? Wouldn't that be cool? Yeah, that'll be phenomenal.
Speaker 3:Then you need to work on yours, and you need to do it with me.
Speaker 2:I would do it with me. I, I would do it. That would be. That would be fun, that would be awesome yeah, that would be very cool tuttle and klein night tuttle and klein live boom, we do the podcast exactly comedy.
Speaker 3:Exactly just kevin, you're. You're a brilliant writer. You could whip together a tight five pretty quick oh, I appreciate you saying I'm a brilliant writer.
Speaker 2:Uh, I don't, yeah, I mean. Well, god cause, I know who watches this and I, I want to give you my opening, uh, my opening comedic line. It would set the tone for the entire evening, okay.
Speaker 3:Are you sure you want to give me this? Yeah, yeah, and I'm not sure I'll take it because I, oh, no no, no, you wouldn't.
Speaker 2:It wouldn't fit in your. It wouldn't fit in your.
Speaker 3:Okay, this is what you would do.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I would just come out and I'd be like, yeah, thanks, um, anybody else in here been in my mom's pussy, cause that's where we all came from.
Speaker 3:That you don't have to explain it. Kev, I was there. Thanks, yeah, hey, hold on. Hold on, cause I want to know, would you explain it? No, you just anybody else been in my mom's pussy?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's fucking funny, dude Thanks.
Speaker 2:And then if somebody says, hey, that's fucking funny, dude, thanks. And then if somebody says, hey, yeah, oh, I didn't know my brother was here, oh that's great.
Speaker 3:Oh, hey dad, that's great dude.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a great one. You thought of that yourself. Oh yeah, yeah, hey, start, start chicken scratching your tight.
Speaker 2:If you're there, we're rolling buddy well, then the other, the other opening that I, uh, that I thought about having is um, hey, thanks, thanks, um, I just hate it when people come up here and they talk about their families and we don't fucking know them and what. What makes our family so important that we got to talk about them? What makes your family so important that you got to talk about them? So my dad, my dad, committed suicide. I know we were just as shocked as you. This man had no skills whatsoever, yet he was able to fashion a noose out of an extension cord, and does he get the irony? Did he get the irony that he's ending, he's shortening his life with something that was used to extend? Oh, my God dude, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3:Yeah, seriously, man. Thanks, you're a. All right, now I'm really going guns and blazing tomorrow night so I can make sure that we have a uh, we, that we have a platform at Houston improv.
Speaker 3:Oh, buddy, that that that would be very, very fun to get on stage with you and do this podcast and also, just, you know, throw out some jokes. We would do our own sets and then we would do like something together on stage. You know, like, like, like you know, dave Attell and and and Jeff, what's his name? Did the what's something, the, the, the, the, what's something's correct? Yeah, jeff Ross, jeff and David Tell had a show where they something mics, dueling mics or something like that. Really funny stuff.
Speaker 2:Well, there's a there's a podcast out there called two bears, one cave, and it's Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's great. Okay, I love it. Um, what else do we got? Are we good on time? How are we doing we got? What else we got to throw out?
Speaker 2:We're good, we're fine, on time. Can I? Can I just talk about this, this documentary that I watched?
Speaker 3:I am so sorry, Kev. I know you wanted to talk about that.
Speaker 2:I should have brought that up, no no worries man, no worries it, just this. This documentary is going to stick with me forever and I'm so pissed off I want to kill a motherfucker. I really do.
Speaker 3:What.
Speaker 2:It's called our father. Have you seen it, do you?
Speaker 3:know about it.
Speaker 2:Our father, a fertility doctor in Indianapolis, a small suburb of Indianapolis, your home city.
Speaker 3:Do you know the suburb?
Speaker 2:I don't, but it's about 10,000 people, okay, and he's a fertility doctor, and so women and couples who are having a difficult time conceiving would go see him and he would artificially inseminate them with what they thought was the husband or boyfriend's sperm. It was not. He would get the women in his chair and get them all ready and he would go jerk off in the room on the other side of the wall, bring his sample in and inseminate them without their knowledge of it being his. His sample in and inseminate them without their knowledge of it being his. He has 93 offspring all living in this one town. Wow, okay. And he didn't tell anybody.
Speaker 2:It was found out because this one girl named Jacoba Ballard took a 23 and me test and it came up that she had 13 half siblings. Okay, and so she starts doing an investigation and all this kind of stuff. But here's the shocking thing. As shocking as that is, he was brought up on trial, not because it was illegal activity, but because he lied to authorities and said that he never did it. Guess what his penalty was? What? A suspended sentence of one year and a 500 fine. The definition of rape? It does not.
Speaker 3:It does not meet the requirements of rape see, kevin, and again, our justice system is so screwed up now I mean you're you almost, it's almost upon yourself to go get your own justice. They don't give a fuck about us anymore.
Speaker 2:Well, okay, you're a dad, okay, I would kill him, dad, he's still alive. He's 85 years old. He's still alive.
Speaker 3:I don't care.
Speaker 2:And he lives in Indianapolis, okay. But here's the thing okay, you have four children, all right. You think all four children are yours. You have four children, alright. You think all four children are yours. You find out when your kid is like 25 years old that this doctor who helped conceive this child, thinking that it's yours, is actually the father. How do you restrain yourself?
Speaker 3:Oh, I, kev, I. I would say this right now Is I would snap, I want I would. I would say this right now is I would snap, I, I, I want to snap, and I and I would kill him, and then I would dare the prosecutor. You're not going to find 12 people to convict me. You can waste your time if you want to. If you decide to waste your time, I'm coming after your job next. It would infuriate you, wouldn't it? Oh my God.
Speaker 2:I Now here listen to this In the documentary. They actually have telephone calls between this doctor and this Jacoba Ballard, whom he fathered, okay, and he's begging her not to go public with this because it would ruin my reputation. Oh my God, yes, yes, oh my God. Her not to go public with this because it would ruin my reputation.
Speaker 3:Oh my god, yes, yes, oh my god it would ruin my marriage kev.
Speaker 3:That is there again, and I've said this before, and this guy is the apex of that. There are just some people that think that they are the center of the universe and every one of us that is not them is a two-dimensional cardboard cutout that drops to the ground when they leave the room. That that is massive ego, and so, and that is sociopath, that is psychopath, I mean, and I and I'm almost sad that there's a massive bloodline that he's left behind.
Speaker 2:Well, okay, think about this. There's one other aspect of this that gets worse. Oh my God, Because he did not tell people about this? In a city of 10,000 people, you have 93 kids. There is a strong possibility that two of them could get together.
Speaker 3:Yes, If they don't know. I mean you got 93 kids and a small high school.
Speaker 2:Exactly Now. Here is the one that is the topper, as if none of that wasn't a topper. One of the daughters that he sired ended up becoming his patient, and she did not know, you're kidding me? No, and he inseminated her and he knew no, he didn't inseminate her, but he was looking up and fondling her breasts wait as a as a quote, doctor how do?
Speaker 3:how do you mean fondle her breasts? Is that? Is that part of the procedure?
Speaker 2:I have no idea, but that's what she said.
Speaker 3:I would. I would curb, stomp him, I would get Edward Norton Jr.
Speaker 2:I am in from American X.
Speaker 3:Yeah, fly him in. I would set his his jaw and his upper part of his face. I'd have him bite down on the curb and I'd say, Edward, let's do do the voodoo that you do. That's terrible, dude. You have a daughter. Okay, you have a daughter.
Speaker 2:That's yeah. You would not want that. You would not want to be that doctor. If, if Audrey came to you and said, hey dad, I want you to be my doctor, you would not do it. Oh no, exactly no. But this guy did it knowingly. He's a lunatic, he's a sociopath. You should be dead. But he's not. And he didn't get any. They did not even prosecute him for any of this to me where are all the dads?
Speaker 3:that's what I want to know. Where are all the dad there? There should have been at least one dad. That's just like. No, no, I'm going to throw them in my trunk and I'm going to take them to a warehouse with duct tape and blowtorch and I'm going to go to work on them.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying? I mean, there's not one of those dads.
Speaker 2:Not one. Wow, no, no, wow, I know, can you, can you?
Speaker 3:imagine finding out 30 years after, do you?
Speaker 2:think you've that that child is not biologically yours. Yeah, yeah, thanks, kev. The film is called our father. It came out in 2022 and I watched that on saturday night and then, right after I got done watching that, I watched this. Uh, the the mcdonald's massacre in 1984 in san ysidro, california. I watched that. I watched the McDonald's massacre in 1984 in San Ysidro, California.
Speaker 3:Oh, I watched that one. I watched that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they actually showed the victims laying in their own pools of blood inside. Yeah, that didn't stick with me. Our father did this asshole that impregnated 93 different women. Wow, and counting.
Speaker 3:I think they should take this 85-year-old doctor and take him to San Ysidro and reenact with him inside.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's where the aorta slicing came from Because that sniper just nailed out James Oliver Huberty with one shot.
Speaker 3:One shot, boom, that was it. That was it Oliver Huberty with one shot. One shot, boom, that was it that was it, and you know.
Speaker 2:Getting back to what you were talking about earlier, with uh. You know, we remember Natalie Holloway and and and we remember, um uh, john F Kennedy jr. I remember the two uh, I remember James Oliver Huberty and I remember one uh for mass murder the lubies and colleen yeah, I don't know any other mass murderers in the top five uh virginia tech okay, cho sung-hui.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, virginia, that's. Yeah, I don't remember the guy in vegas. No, I don't remember his name. No, and I don't even know what the fourth one is, but those are. You know, sandy Cedra was number one for just a little while and then Killeen happened and then they were number one, number two, but I don't know the other three. So you know, it's like what you're saying.
Speaker 3:You know you might forget you might forget, which is a good thing in that you'll always remember if it's a cute white girl. You know you might forget. You might forget, which is a good thing, in that You'll always remember if it's a cute white girl, all right, kev. Let's wrap it up, buddy, make sure you like, follow, download, subscribe, give us a rating. We depend on that for the growth of this podcast. Please do that. Please tell friends about us. Please buy our merchandise. We have the neatest looking merchandise.
Speaker 2:Kevin's wife has done a fantastic job on this stuff and we don't want to thank crystal uh for, uh for the production, the mass production of it, and uh thanks to everybody who's already gotten some yeah, and kevin quine, what do you have coming up this week?
Speaker 2:you have uh on your podcast yeah, I have, uh, his name is bobby sexton and he is a mental performance coach. So if you have, uh, if you're a parent and you have some kids who are playing athletics definitely want to listen to this or if you just want to better yourself and get more mentally tough, bobby's got some uh, some ways to do it, and he will also tell us the difference between michael jordan, tiger woods and us got it and make sure that you reach out to uh warrior expeditionsorg and donate to a worthy cause.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be the guest on my daughter's uh podcast Sweet, so go check that out. A little one-on-one with your hype girl, Audrey Tuttle.
Speaker 2:And next week you're going to tell us how uh Monday night went, how.
Speaker 3:Tuesday night went. Tuesday night went.
Speaker 2:Tuesday night went. Yeah, dude, I'm so excited for you, man, I'm so excited for you.
Speaker 3:I am too. I just need to go do it, man, yeah, and you will. You're going to nail it? Yep, you're going to nail it. Could be life-changing or it could be okay. I did it. That was great. The bucket list checkoff.
Speaker 2:No, it'll be such a rush that, uh, you're. I thought you were hyped after the last time you did it. This is going to be a big audience for you.
Speaker 3:All right, kevin Klein, this has been a blast. What?
Speaker 2:are you going to wear?
Speaker 3:I don't know, what should I wear. Does that matter? I?
Speaker 1:don't know.
Speaker 3:Uh, a black shirt. That is way too small for me.
Speaker 2:Okay, perfect.
Speaker 3:I'm going to shock the world Later dude.
Speaker 2:See ya.
Speaker 1:That's it for this episode of the Tuttle Cline Show. See you this Wednesday for an all-new episode. Also, you can catch Tuttle on TV. He is a handsome man, and you can get more Cline on his podcast, the Fuzzy Mike, with new episodes on Tuesday. Stay fuzzy friends and thanks. New episodes on Tuesday Stay fuzzy friends, and thanks for listening to the Tuttle Cline Show. Yo, All right, take the yo out.