Tuttle & Kline
Award winning morning radio partners for 25+ years, Tim Tuttle and Kevin Kline share stories and insights through organic conversation and natural humor.
Tuttle & Kline
Ep #7: 21st Century Jesus, Life In The Marines & What's A Shake Machine?
We go down a rabbit hole or terror, tackling the twisted tale of Ariel Castro and his Cleveland house of horrors and the heinous life of serial killer John Wayne Gacy. But it's not all grim.
Thank you to our sponsor, Air Innovations: https://www.airinnovationsllc.com/
From the relentless demands of fatherhood to the curious consequence of Jesus arriving in the 21st century, we're peeling back layers of life's rich tapestry.
Thank you to our sponsor, Home Video Rescue: https://homevideorescue.com/
Ever struggled to stick to a new diet or been mesmerized by the simple grandeur of a car wash? So have we, and we're not afraid to laugh about it.
Finally, you get the scoop on our time at the USMC Recruit Depot at Parris Island. These are can't miss stories.
So, join us for a slice of life, served with a side of contemplation and a generous helping of laughter.
Welcome to the Tuttle Kline Show.
Speaker 2:Good morning to you, Calvin. Hello Tuttle, so you got nasty storms headed your way.
Speaker 3:Yeah well, we're recording this on Monday, april 1st, so happy April Fool's Day and no fooling here. We are in the line of some serious storms later, and we might even get some tornadic activity, and so I'm really sweating it. I want to get this thing edited and uploaded in case we do lose electricity. Got it? Okay? Well, there's people counting on us for their Wednesday entertainment.
Speaker 2:Isn't that great that it's been built up that way. I mean that people are just like I automatically have it downloaded. I know when it's there and there, and one person has it timed out. She said at the end of her run every single Wednesday morning she gets the automatic download and she says the best way to finish my run and I love that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's Desi. She's participated in the Ultra 55 before. I've run so many miles with her. She's super cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very cool. So thank you to all of you who have the automatic download, who have subscribed and liked and given us a rating. We appreciate the heck out of you. Kevin Klein, let's jump right in Last week's rabbit hole. I know you have one. I got to tell you mine. I don't know how I got into this at all. It's just one of those. After the fact it's like I have no idea where that came from, but do you remember the uh cleveland basement kidnapping case?
Speaker 2:I certainly do uh castro, I think it was his last name that's correct yes, and the three girls um that he had in the basement for like 10 years, and one of them he had a kid with and everything like that. Remember that.
Speaker 3:I totally remember it.
Speaker 2:I got caught in that, just looking up all kinds of stuff, and the first thing I thought Kev, you know I've been to Cleveland.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh as have I, I wouldn't mind, you know, being stuck in a basement there. Really, you didn't like it. No, I did not, and not at the time. Now I've heard that it's being refurbished. This was back in the nineties. I actually was the time that I was there. Kevin was the time I watched Jose Canseco the home run ball hit off his head at Cleveland. I was. I was at that game.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:And we were laughing at him and everything like that. And I was right. We were right behind their dugout, the visitor's dugout, and I'm just giving him all kinds. He's looking, he's staring me down.
Speaker 3:Yeah, for those of you that are listening and not watching the YouTube on this, what happened is there was a long fly ball hitting the outfield. Jose Canseco, who's playing for the Oakland athletics, goes back to retrieve it. It bounces off of his head and goes into the stands. You're. The video is up right now on youtube yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was there, for that's the only time I was in cleveland and uh, you know, it may have changed, it may have gotten better my experience in cleveland is it was only like uh, 32 hours.
Speaker 3:We went up, we ran a 24-hour race, but the day before we went to the uh, the, the rock and roll hall of fame, which was awesome, and then, uh, that night we went to the Indians Kansas city Royals game, and that was the night that the Indians won their 22nd straight.
Speaker 2:Wow, you were there for that one.
Speaker 3:I was there for that one.
Speaker 2:That's kind of cool.
Speaker 3:It was neat.
Speaker 2:So I think that the uh city of Cleveland probably should invite Kevin and I up at any time that we want to, because it's good luck for your Indians. Either you either win 22 straight or you see Jose Canseco, one of the biggest dicks in baseball history, bounce a home run off his head.
Speaker 3:Good stuff.
Speaker 2:But in that rabbit hole, kev, you know, I I'm just, I'm thinking to myself and I'd love to know your take on this. The guy kidnapped three girls from his neighborhood and he stays there for 10 years and I'm struggling. Is that genius or is that lazy?
Speaker 3:uh, gosh, that is an issue intriguing proposition to answer. Uh, it's, it's lazy. Uh, from the respect that you know, he stayed in the same house, but can you imagine all of the precautions that guy had to go through to not get caught for 10 years?
Speaker 2:by anybody in his family either. Not even his brothers knew about it. Not even his kids knew about it. Not even his kids knew about it. Nobody knew about it, nobody. And his daughter was like best friends with one of them, that's insane.
Speaker 2:It's just so off the chart crazy. It's unbelievable. And another thing that intrigued me about this Kevin, I don't know if you remember this or not, I don't remember it, but in jumping down the rabbit hole I came upon it One of the big things that caused outrage and freak out and everything like that were the parents were at his house right after their, after his girl was kidnapped. Their girl was kidnapped by him and and at a barbecue.
Speaker 3:Well, he was actively looking for them when they disappeared. No well where they were? In his fucking basement.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and, and it's so crazy to me, it's like right afterwards is like a couple of days. I don't know about you, but if my daughter gets kidnapped I'm not looking to go to any barbecues real quick.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 2:You know they, they even had like news footage, news cameras were on the parents and they're right at his place and the cameras are there and they're having a barbecue and at that time cause that was the third one, that was Amanda, I think it was.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:That was the third. They're all in the basement, like just feet away.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Hold on, dad's got to get his brisket sandwich.
Speaker 2:And I, I don't know. I don't know, kevin, I, if a reporter, I'm just like, hey, it's just been a couple of days. Well, why the fuck are you barbecuing these burgers ain't going to flip themselves. And another thing from that is I don't know if you remember this or not two out of the three girls it was frantic, I mean they, they were posters up and you know, door to door and all that but one girl was in there and nobody was looking for yeah, that'll do real good for the psyche kev.
Speaker 2:In all honesty, that would be me. My mom, would you know. She would probably be like, uh, well, well, uh, you know, uh, uh, mr kidnapper there, huh, uh, I'm actually here for just todd and terry. Uh, you can keep tim, yeah, uh, yeah, uh, yeah, you're, you're, yeah, the taller and skinnier one. Yeah, that that's's the one. I don't need him. You can, you can. I just need the other two there, todd and Terry. I'm doing my mom's Wisconsin accent.
Speaker 3:Absolutely your best impression.
Speaker 2:Oh wait a minute, oh shoot. Okay, so you killed him already there. Huh, no, no, no, I completely understand. He was a total dick.
Speaker 3:Can I get that chicken leg there?
Speaker 2:well, really, I, you know, I, I, I gotta be honest with you. I've been wanting to kill him for a long time there, huh. Can you describe in detail the killing? The cops are taking you away? Now I'll tell you what this is unusual, but I'm going to visit you in prison so you can tell me that story there, huh.
Speaker 3:He had a rough upbringing. My mom didn't love me as much.
Speaker 2:That's gotten better. Yeah, sure, it's gotten better. And looking back, kevin, again, you're able, with distance, to look at a different. I was a smart ass. I just I didn't. And it's been a problem like most of my. I just don't know when to shut the fuck up, and you know that too. You've seen it. Oh, I've seen it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're just like okay, that was okay. Oh, you're like tim tim, tim, tim, siri, tim tim. That that's kevin.
Speaker 3:Unfortunately, for the last 28 years, he's had to do that a few times and it always fell on deaf ears yeah, yeah, once I'm wound up, I'm going well and if you tell him, if you tell tim hey, dude, he's just gonna go 10 times more, he's gonna go 10 times harder, because nobody tells Timmy T what to do.
Speaker 2:I know, man it's so terrible, but anyway, I spent probably two or three hours reading about that YouTube and stuff, that Charles Ramsey guy, the black dude who pulled her out of the house, amanda out of the house.
Speaker 3:I knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms. Something is wrong here.
Speaker 2:He's a rock star, you just hope.
Speaker 3:If you're ever in a situation like that, where you're kidnapped and you're in a room for 10 years, you just hope they have a working AC unit, don't you?
Speaker 2:Something, man, I just can't even imagine.
Speaker 3:Oh, that would suck dude.
Speaker 2:I think some books have been written on it and that may be in the next step. If I, I may have to read some of the girls' books.
Speaker 3:Well, they've done interviews. All three of them have done interviews, yeah, yeah, one has been, uh, she's been intellectually challenged because she didn't go to school during her formative years. The other two are, I mean, as well off as they can be mentally Right, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's, uh, yeah, that, that. That was mine, Kev. What was your rabbit hole? What were you caught in?
Speaker 3:Similar criminal activity. I was uh uh caught in the John Wayne Gacy porthole.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've seen those Netflix specials.
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, I I had a specific reason, though. I interviewed his attorney for the Fuzzy Mike coming up later on this week.
Speaker 2:It's my latest episode and she was the attorney that worked on his last death row appeal. Really, how was that? Okay, and that's going to be on the Fuzzy, mike. By the time you're listening to this, it's already out, right the episode's already out on the fuzzy mic, correct?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so her name is Karen Conti and, uh, it's a great interview with her. But in order to interview her, I had to dig deep into the life of John Wayne Casey, not a life you really want to be spending a whole hell of a lot of time with.
Speaker 2:It's dark.
Speaker 3:I mean it's dark.
Speaker 2:I remember reading about that, um, that when I was way too young and not ready for it, and that was a haunting one, you know, because he was doing that stuff in Chicago and I, you know, I lived in Milwaukee at the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're not far away.
Speaker 2:No, I was like that was so so, so that can happen. You know, you're just walking down the street, you know? Yeah, you go for a job interview and you're never seen again.
Speaker 3:You're just walking down the street, you know? Yeah, you go for a job interview and you're never seen again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's, yeah, that's crazy stuff, so that. So you got caught in that. That's. That's ugly, dark side stuff.
Speaker 3:Probably about four hours of rabbit hole on that.
Speaker 2:Really. Yeah, yeah Well that's research, though for an interview too. Still, though, man, you, once you get going on that it's like there's got to be more. What else can I learn? And so you look at the clock four hours later and you're like, damn, did I really need to do that? Yeah, uh, I would advise if that one bothered you never ever look up the toolbox killer, the killers in california. Okay, 79. They actually used to record. Yeah, oh, jesus, and they never played the recording.
Speaker 3:But even the transcript reading caused people to run and yeah, hey, you're an intelligent man and you're not shy to share your opinion. Why do people have that level of depravity in them?
Speaker 2:All kinds of things. First off, there's just bad seeds. You know Dahmer had great parents, good parenting, and he's just a bad. I mean, some people are just wired bad and some of it is. Hey man, if you, uh, if you go midi medieval on your kid, if you're just a shitty parent, abusive and everything like that, you are winding up a possible serial killer okay uh, you know, these are just my theories, yeah yeah, I mean you've done enough research. You know what I'm talking about. I mean well dahmer's dad.
Speaker 3:Dahmer's dad actually introduced him to dismemberment. You know they used to do that with dead animals. They used to go trolling for dead animals on the highway and his dad would bring them back into the garage and show.
Speaker 2:I thought just taxidermy.
Speaker 3:No, no, he was showing him how to skin animals and all that stuff. Yeah, okay, I didn't know that.
Speaker 2:If you're doing that with your kid, I mean you're training a serial killer.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and they pretty much left him alone at the age of 15 to fend for himself, uh, with a divorce and all that kind of stuff and and lionel was a traveling salesperson maybe I got those domer parents wrong well, they didn't beat him or anything like that.
Speaker 2:But now they, they weren't uh if, let me tell you this if you um hug your kids a, tell them you love them a lot, give them every opportunity to be successful and reinforce them on a daily basis, they don't grow up to be serial killers. No they don't.
Speaker 3:No, they do not.
Speaker 2:You know, I mean just just look, you know. I mean I mean look at me for an example. I had a great upbringing, love. My dad, mom was a little, a little hard on me and I got, I got some a little bit, a little bit, whereas todd and terry had a little bit of a different upbringing, more nurturing, because I, I just think my mom realized, okay, t Tina and Tim, their lost causes. I screwed that up. I got to get a couple that'll take care of me in my old age. So she completely 180. She completely pivoted and they had a very different upbringing than I did.
Speaker 3:But let me ask you this because you're a parent four times over, Does it get easier the more like your first kid? Obviously you obsess over that because it's new and you don't know what you're doing. But then as you get more experience, is it OK. I know where I went hands on too much there, so I can be a little hands off here.
Speaker 2:I yeah, I mean there's there's a learning curve, but you know, I think you either have it in you, a nurturer, a nurturing parent, or you don't. Okay, and fortunately for my kids. I mean, you know, I split with their moms, you know, 10 years old and 12 years old and all that stuff. They got great moms.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but you didn't abandon them. You're still in their life.
Speaker 2:No, I made sure. You know, as you can tell, I had a radio career in a top 10 market and you know I made millions of dollars, but I live in a 675 square foot apartment right now, so those kids could have great upbringing. So you know, I was always there. I was always there as much as I possibly could be.
Speaker 3:Yeah, except for one birthday, uh, that you had to go to. Where did you have to go, oh?
Speaker 2:my God, you were so pissed. Audrey had an offer, uh, from a, a college in California, full scholarship offer, Um, when she was 15 years old. So I flew her out there for the visit they, they, they were having that and it was I missed Timmy's first birthday.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, no, no no. This was way before that, when it was I guess it was Jonas's birthday. You were still living in Sugar Land at the time and you had to do an emergency thing for the station. Do you remember that?
Speaker 2:Yes, we'll get to that. On the other side of telling you, we love Arrow Innovations, these are good people that always know how to cool off any situation, including the unbelievable heat that we have coming. Kev, you've done the checking and, trust me, there's nobody better with weather patterns and predictive analysis in regards to meteorology than Kevin Kline. What do you have in store for summer of 2024 for Houstonians?
Speaker 3:Well, it's not going to even be in the summer, it's going to be starting relatively soon for you guys. I just looked at the April forecast from the National Weather Service and the NOAA and basically Arkansas is the line of demarcation which you can explain. That, timmy T. But anything south of Arkansas is going to be hotter than normal in April and anything north is going to be cooler and wetter. I don't know if you know your geography very well, but Texas is south of Arkansas.
Speaker 2:We are in the crosshairs of some steamy weather, and a lot of you I mean, let's face it, your AC unit is sputtering after the war of 2023, the all-time record heat, and it's going. Hey man, what do we got coming? The best thing to do is reach out to the good people at Air Innovations. If you have any issues whatsoever, first off, if it's an emergency issue, if it completely cuts off, they're available 24-7 so they can get you taken care of. So the next day, when it's 95, 100 degree heat, you don't feel like you're in an oven. Also, they can do preventative maintenance and I'd always advise particularly for Houston AC units, because they do harder work than any other AC units in the United States of America to get this preventative maintenance so you don't even risk the catastrophic breakdown.
Speaker 3:I remember when we were living in Sugar Land, trish and I, and we had an AC unit go out and it cost us 10 grand to Okay To replace that AC unit. And the guy who was installing it said when was the last time he did maintenance? And I'm like I don't know. You know it was like three years after we bought the house. And he's like, yeah, he goes, there's your problem right there. He says if you do annual maintenance, he goes you'll extend the life of it. Yeah, you know what Do your maintenance with?
Speaker 2:Air Innovations there you go. There you go. Aeronovations we have their phone number right there. It's on the logo right on the corner of the screen. We also have their website available. Go to our description right now. Kevin Klein always puts their website link in the description so you can click on and get yourself taken care of. Yes, kev, I completely walked away from Jonas's I think third birthday party.
Speaker 3:I know he was young.
Speaker 2:Yeah, third or fifth or something, I don't know, we were doing Gridiron Invasion and the boss wanted somebody down in Santa Fe for that football game. So I had to walk away from my son's birthday party, with kids there and everything to accommodate that. I'm not sure you and Erica couldn't do it, and he was flipping his gourd and I'm like I got a birthday party here, I need somebody there. So, yeah, I walked away and then, to make matters worse, a mere three months later, I thought I was a shoo-in to win employee of the quarter, which I'd never, I've never won you know whatever at the banquet there. And then I did not get employee of the quarter, which I'd never, I've never won you know uh whatever at the banquet there. And then I did not get employee of the quarter. I thought it was shoe. I had a speech prepared and everything.
Speaker 3:Oh, he's always got a speech prepared.
Speaker 2:Yeah and uh, cause I thought there's a. You know, Johnny knows that I walked away from Jonas's birthday party.
Speaker 1:I mean that this is my shot right here If I don't it here, I'll never win it, you know yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So I was shocked too, because you know, in our years uh, the 16 that we worked together in houston, I nominated you five times, did you really? I did nominated you five times, I just I have.
Speaker 2:I in all honesty, even though I loved, uh, johnny, I don't think he liked me. I just don't, I just don't. Yeah, he did, no, he did not like me.
Speaker 3:He did not, uh, but you know, look at it, though. Has scott sparks ever gotten? Employee of the year?
Speaker 2:well, sparky's kind of like jordan. You know you, you would have to give him mvp every year. They have to take him off of it just to give the other people a chance.
Speaker 3:Okay, like Garth Brooks and the entertainer of the year.
Speaker 2:Exactly, but Kev, real quick that year. The winner of the employee of the quarter, employee of the year, whatever that took it from me, the hardware from me, was somebody who was let go a year later. You know they were drinking everybody's alcohol and he was you remember that?
Speaker 3:Oh, I totally remember that that was that was the person who beat me.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah that, that um beat me for employee of the quarter.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so he's not mad.
Speaker 2:No, I don't hold a grudge. You're the one that brought that up. Why did you bring that up? Why did you bring that up?
Speaker 3:Because I was talking about how good of a dad you are and the only the very few times that you've been called away from important activity with your kids, and I knew that one always stuck in the craw.
Speaker 2:Well, the Timmy one-year birthday for Audrey's scholarship offer in California. That one was the one that caused the most trouble and it was probably a main point. That one was the one that caused the most trouble and it was probably a main point and the reason I'm alone in a 675 square foot apartment, but that's another story for another time. Hey, I got a question, kev, because you're always good at, like you know, analysis on things like this is coming off of Easter week, about Jesus.
Speaker 3:OK, oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Now if, if he were to come now obviously cause he was here the first time there would be a big to do about it. You know it's like, oh, as predicted. You know Jesus, you know, is here, he's here. He's here, he's doing you know, speeches and people are following him. Because we knew he was coming. He said, hey, I'm going to be back.
Speaker 3:He's kind of like Santa. He's like, hey, I'm going to be back. Yeah, you think the I have a Dream speech was well attended.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, because we know it would be cool. But if he didn't come before and die for our sins, all right. And this was like a brand new phenomenon in modern days, like just somebody who came down and said hey, I'm the son of God, my name is Jesus. How would we, in today's jaded world, how would we react to that?
Speaker 3:No, dude wouldn't stand a chance. Are you kidding me? Yeah, that would be ripe for social media. Commentary of look at this fucking loon.
Speaker 2:Exactly what?
Speaker 3:a wacko.
Speaker 2:I was thinking about that. I was like you know we would probably spin it. And definitely mainstream media. They hate God and religion. You know they, they can't stand. Their, their gods are our big government and you know the billionaire elite. You know that's their gods and money and then evil shit, that's their God. So they, he, would be just annihilated by the mainstream media, annihilated. But but even to you know people of faith, you know people you know they'd be like. Is this like like a failed carpenter that's? You know, using some kind of son of God side hustle for social media? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Oh, I know exactly what you're saying, cause we don't, we, we don't believe anymore. You know, we need definitive proof, because there's so much, there's so much malarkey out there.
Speaker 2:He would like have to whip out the miracles hardcore.
Speaker 3:And updated versions too, oh oh, the walking on water.
Speaker 2:I mean you know that he can't do anything. We've seen david blaine do exactly there.
Speaker 3:You go well. No, if he walked on water it'd be like dude. That's so, cgi, come on yeah, or something like that.
Speaker 2:We would think that there's some kind of transparent like stage underneath that he's walking on top of some actual like piece of you know structure. Of course, you know it would have to be like something, really like like, ok, you know, uh-huh, like what could he do? I don't know, but I could just see him. You know he's here, he is, he's like 30 something years old you old and he's like all right, god, I'm doing what you. I had some fun growing up and learning all this stuff, the girls, all that stuff, the ladies, hey, but now I'm ready to do your work, what you sent me for. The only problem is, dad, is these people. Don't fucking believe me, man.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, I know, fucking believe me, man. Yeah, you know, yeah, I know, I totally, and he's like. He's like, yeah, I'm not. Yeah, not a bad idea. Walking on water, that's cool. Um, raising from the dead, I mean, hey, dad, it would probably be half to somebody who's been dead for a while. I'd have to probably go to a cemetery or something like that, and, you know, just have michael jackson pop out of the grave and do a moonwalk or something. Dad, that's what, that's what I'm needing, something like that yeah, something for sure you know, yeah, maybe we could find crash m370.
Speaker 3:Uh, you know that that the the airline that went down in the water or in the jungle why don't we don't know where it went?
Speaker 2:and it went I bring it up, and then I say, well, here it is. I need something. Oh wait, Dad, Dad, I got this. I got this. Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl.
Speaker 3:That's not too far off, buddy.
Speaker 2:And even God going I can't fucking do that. Let's go with the Michael Jackson moonwalk son. Okay, dad, Michael Jackson moonwalk, I'm heading to the cemetery right now, got it.
Speaker 3:That's funny that you bring up religion. I got a voiceover job offer yesterday. I turned it down.
Speaker 4:I turned it down. What was it?
Speaker 3:about. We need somebody to voice some advertisements.
Speaker 2:Uh, advertisements for islam oh yeah, okay did you read the copy?
Speaker 3:no, they didn't send it to me. They said we just need somebody to read. Uh, read some advertisements for is uh for islam in the islamic culture why didn't you do that? I. I don't do anything political or with religion oh, but it's money.
Speaker 2:How much money did you pass up?
Speaker 3:uh, it wasn't too much. Okay, a few hundred you remember me?
Speaker 2:I mean, you know we had the radio career. I'll, I'll do a live endorsement program for anything, yeah no, yeah, no, you got.
Speaker 3:I. I passed on some that you, that you got.
Speaker 2:In all honesty, if Hezbollah wanted some kind of campaign, I could hey, this is Tim Tuttle. Look, I want you to know that Hezbollah has a bad name and they're just not that bad of guys. Did you know they have a softball team that plays games for charity, did you know? And they're just not that bad of guys. Did you know they have a softball team that, uh, plays games for charity? Did you know that? Yeah, the more you know, obviously I'm kidding of course you are that?
Speaker 2:those are jokes. I could just see people and they already started typing right there tiptoe you, mother no, I was. You can't take anything that we say during this time seriously at all. If you are, the joke's on you.
Speaker 3:You're a marketing guy. Do you think it was a smart move for them to try and get a white suburban Midwestern guy to voice their Islamic culture?
Speaker 2:Not sure that was the best idea? I didn't think so either. You know who they need. Who? Bobcat Goldthwait.
Speaker 4:Thank you very much, thank you very much, thank you very much, thank you very much, thank you.
Speaker 3:You know what he used to do. What did he used to do when he first started out? He opened for Nirvana.
Speaker 2:I heard about that. I heard a story about that.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh, yeah, he's got great stories about.
Speaker 2:Kurt cobain talks about it all the time what give me one real quick you said, cobain had a wicked sense of humor yeah I loved working with cobain I I heard that, uh, kurt cobain had a very dark sense of humor and he was really quick with it too yeah, bobcat goldthwait says the same thing.
Speaker 3:But can you imagine that bill, bobcat goldthwait and nirvana that's uh, how do you that that?
Speaker 2:you know, kev, those are the hardest comedian gigs ever. Oh yeah is when you're. You're there and they're there to see nirvana do teen spirit and lithium and you're to stand up there with no musical instruments whatsoever. They're all high and, you know, hopped up on whatever Nirvana fans get hopped up on. I can remember those days, I can give you an idea. But and then you start telling jokes. They're like, oh yeah, that's, that's a tough gig.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, would you? Would you take that gig on?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Would you take that? Gig on Nah? No, when I was younger maybe, but as we've seen from my comedy career so far, I need the situation to be right or I get irritated quickly.
Speaker 3:But your career is starting to burgeon, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yes, Do you want to go there with it? Hell yeah, dude. All right, I'll tell you. I'll give you an update in regards to my standup comedy After we tell you about home video. Rescue Kevin Klein.
Speaker 3:Love home video rescue.
Speaker 2:I love how people are starting to go back into their storage in their garage and everything like that and grabbing those old, valuable, like priceless VHS tapes, eight millimeter CDs you know all of that stuff and they're turning it over into digital by going to home video rescue, whom we have a link in our description where you can click on. It gives you the steps to save those precious memories. Yeah, this stuff is not going to last forever. They deteriorate every single day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the thing you said. Priceless and the word that comes to mind immediately when I think of home video. Rescue is irreplaceable. These things that you're letting waste in your attic or your basement or your garage. They're deteriorating and you can't replace them, so get them digitized, put them up on a cloud, put them on a USB card, and then you have them forever, kev, you were.
Speaker 2:Uh, for those who aren't aware, you you wouldn't know it by looking at him because he kind of looks like harry potter or some kind of nerdy shit like that. Kevin klein was a hell of a baseball player. Uh, punch in judy, hit from the left side, hit for average, had a little bit of power right there and all of that. Um, and I know you got. You have tapes out there of your prowess on the diamond.
Speaker 3:Well, I can tell you one thing One of my highlighted high school baseball games that was used as a promo piece. The tape broke. It was VHS back then. So yeah, the tape broke. You know what are we talking, 35 years ago, 1988 30 years ago ouch yeah, it broke him.
Speaker 2:So you should have gotten with home video rescue much earlier absolutely yeah yeah, hey, kevin, I was thinking about it too and I'm just freaking out about it. There's a tape somewhere in my mom's possession maybe storage or something like that where I was brought up from um, you know, sophomore year, from junior varsity to varsity basketball, and there's a great tape. You know the announcer because they used to do the games. You know, here's Timmy Tuttle, the sophomore brought up from varsity. He's a high flyer, he's an exciting player and we're going to see what he can do. He's checking into the game now and then, just like a minute later, I get a breakaway and get, as a sophomore, 15 years old, a nice tomahawk dunk on a breakaway and the crowd just goes apeshit that this sophomore kid just did that. It just had a nice flush. Sure, that is on VHS somewhere in my mom's possession and I'm dying to get a hold of that.
Speaker 3:You better find it soon. I know Better, find it soon I know better.
Speaker 2:Find it soon. Remember, um. If your kids have never seen it, they think your glory days are bullshit.
Speaker 2:You gotta you gotta give them the video proof plus. You know weddings and graduations and you know Christmas morning with the family back in the seventies, eights, 90s. These are precious memories. You need to get taken care of today with Home Video Rescue. Yeah, kev, an update For those unaware in the last couple months I've been working on really always a dream of mine.
Speaker 2:I've always had the dream, kev I don't know if I told you this or not Back in early 1996, when I called the radio station that you had just started working at and John Lennick was the program director and the afternoon guy and I asked if they needed interns and he said, yes, all my interns suck, come up tomorrow. That set me on the path to becoming a morning radio personality for 26 years. If that didn't work, if you know, if John Lennox didn't answer that phone, I, I, you know, I. I told uh, my then, uh, girlfriend um, who would eventually be to come, audrey and Jonas's mother. I told her I said I'm going to also work on standup comedy. You know, I'm all. You know, I'm going to, I'm going to work up on, you know, and we're going to move to Los Angeles if, if it starts going. And you know I had that kind of agreement with her. But the radio career took off quickly.
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 2:So I've always had at the back of my mind that I wanted to be a stand-up comic and a lead singer in a band and a lead singer in a band.
Speaker 3:Well, got a better chance of being a comedian buddy once, yeah once, I realized I can't sing.
Speaker 2:That went bye-bye, uh. But yeah, I, I wanted to do that whole thing, kev. I wanted to go, uh, either Los Angeles or New York, be a stand-up comedian, maybe try out for Saturday Night Live, you know, get movies I. I mean, I wanted to follow that path or at least give it a shot. But the radio career took off.
Speaker 2:But now no, no no, no, you know how it is, man. They pay you just enough money to keep you waking up at three in the morning, and I was comfortable, and you know. And then we ended up, you know, a pretty big time deal in Houston, texas. So no regrets whatsoever. But now I'm giving it a shot again and I'm so happy to report. And, kev you know this already and those of you who follow me on social media you know this too Raymond from Improv Houston reached out to me and said Tim, we would love to put you in the lineup on an upcoming show.
Speaker 3:That's incredible. That's very impressive, and he had some great glowing words for you also. He said you don't need to be messing around with open mic nights. He goes, we already know you're funny, because when we used to bring in the comedians, all the comedians were talking about you too. I kind of disagree with that.
Speaker 2:I think that you should do the open mics because it just gives you an opportunity to open new material, try new material and hone your craft. Uh, but I will never stop doing open mics. And I also have another Avenue. Um, bj, the DJ, reached out to me. He used to do some comedy at the improv and everything like that. He said that there's a, uh, a promoter, a guy who does organize comedy shows. You know that I could easily get on the bill with them and you know, maybe even do regular, have a regular gig where I can test my material, nice. But I will tell you this in all honesty my goal is to go over the improv and blow them away. And then Raymond's like oh dude, we've got to have you hosting, that would be awesome. And then you know, I got 15 minutes right now. I can open, I can be an opener right now. Um, but yeah, you take it from there. And then, next thing, I mean that would be a, that would be huge.
Speaker 2:That would be phenomenal, but one step at a time. You know, I'm very happy, I know, uh, I would love to have as many of you watching or listening to this come to the first performance that I have at the Improv Houston and I'll let you know via social media and we'll keep updates here on the podcast of when that may be. But I would love, I'd love, to fill the place with friendly faces.
Speaker 3:Be amazing, and I don't. I don't think that there's any reason that that can't happen. If you could pick the person that you would want to host, for who would it be?
Speaker 2:I would want to host for Bill Burr.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he's doing stadiums now. I know Arenas.
Speaker 2:I know, but yeah, there's some really good ones. I mean Kev, I actually was thinking about this, I don't really care. Okay, as a matter of fact, the less established the better, because it gives me a shot at blowing them away.
Speaker 3:Well, and then again, the less established the better, because they might love what you do and say, hey, you want to travel with me and be the opener for me.
Speaker 2:that happens, that happens a lot yeah, uh, but yeah, I, we'll see where this goes. I kept there was a a couple of uh tags that I've added to my act, and now you know that I'm going to be doing improv. It might not be like locked at six minutes, I may get a little more room to spread my wings and so I can add tags and more material, but I, I, I was, I've been testing it out. Different focus groups, different people and there's a couple things that I've riffed that have really, uh, gotten a great reaction. I just wanted your feedback on it okay I have this new material?
Speaker 2:I haven't heard it well it's, it's punches on the older, so you'll hear the, the, the stuff you've heard before, but you'll hear tags, new tags on it okay like um you, you remember this? Uh, during halftime of a big game, I took my son to the crowded men's bathroom since he's three years old with no filter. He finishes peeing, walks over to my stall, looks in and says he's got a big pee, pee.
Speaker 2:Now it's really not that big, but to a three-year-old it probably looks like a fucking boa constrictor. By the way, three-year-olds have tiny penises. You may not know that, unless you're a parent or a democrat oh geez geez, calm down, it's just a joke. You pedophiles are so sensitive. Wow, that got a reaction.
Speaker 3:No, I don't that's got a reaction for sure yeah, and then I got a whole.
Speaker 2:You know somebody they can, I got a whole thing if it, if it turns on me and they get mad or start getting up and leaving or whatever uh-huh probably not advisable for me to whip that out unless I know the audience uh, it depends.
Speaker 3:Uh, I mean, daniel tosh would whip that out in Massachusetts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because technically, kev, I'm not making fun of Democrats, I'm making fun of the half of America that think all Democrats are pedophiles, when everybody knows it's only 80%, only 80%. That was another tag I had. Uh-huh, yeah, yeah, do you see what I see? You see what are your thoughts on that? I mean that the only problem is that really alienates you from, you know, 40% of people, and those 40% are very vindictive.
Speaker 3:Um, I mean I hate to throw his name out there again, but I mean you look at what Tosh does, you look at what Anthony Jeselnik does, it's no different, you know. I mean they take no prisoners. Yeah, no, and there's, remember, there's always a victim in comedy, there's always a victim in comedy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I promised myself that, hey man, I'm going to be me.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying? I the the. The only way that I would really make it in this that business is if I was 100% me.
Speaker 3:Would you, would you? Obviously you would rip on the other side too.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. See, if there anything came up and I can rip on a Republican, I don't give a shit, I'll do that, I don't care. Yeah. I don't care, I'm a libertarian give a shit, I'll do that.
Speaker 3:I don't care. Yeah, I don't care, I'm a libertarian. Yeah, I think that's. Uh, I think that's how you would easily get away with that. Um, and yeah, I mean it. It's going to ruffle feathers, but people are going to be talking yeah, okay, so you're.
Speaker 2:You're like, hey, man, if you're feeling it, add the tag for sure. Okay, for sure now. And I can just imagine, if I'm at improv and it's, you know, it's a, by that time I'll know whether the audience is on my side or not, and if I'm feeling it, I just I pop it.
Speaker 3:Even if you're not feeling it, pop it.
Speaker 2:So you like it. It's good comedy. Yeah, yeah, I definitely. Yeah, I riffed that, you know, and they laughed, and one of them was a Democrat that I did that for, uh-huh, and she laughed her ass off. She said, no, that's freaking hilarious, that is funny, yeah. And she, even she is the one who told me hey, you got to remember the people who are nutty. Uh, on both sides they're they're very few of them, and you know, if you don't, you don't have like, uh, you're an entrepreneur, tim, you know, you know they're not going to cancel you. You can't be canceled oh, there's been comedians.
Speaker 3:You've been canceled yeah shane gillis. He lost anL gig. He got canceled for a while.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I think the pendulum shifting and that's he's still doing, fine, I mean he's doing fine. Yeah, he's still doing fine. I just I think that the world just needs everything and everyone to be made fun of particularly extremist political.
Speaker 3:You know well, we know, we know this from our radio days together it's the vocal minority. You know it's the one or two people that email in that I hated that bit and you guys are crass and they get the attention.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know the people who email in and say yeah, that was funny. You know they're not going to get any attention, they're not going to raise their voices.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, you know they're not going to, they're not going to get any attention, they're not going to raise their voices. No, yeah, I mean basically, if people were smart, they, anytime they heard somebody complaining about words oh my God, words you would just feel sorry for I feel sorry for you that words can set you off like that, that you are so unstable and insecure with yourself or you have such a shitty psyche from a bad childhood that you feel you have to spend an hour typing me a long email about how I shouldn't have said that when I was talking about you know, blah, blah, blah and an act. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:I know, yeah Well, we've experienced it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so okay, all right, I'm glad. Good feedback. I have one more I want to throw at you.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:This comes after Okay, now where were we? Oh yeah, crowded men's bathroom. I've got my penis out next to my son and that sounds so wrong, unless you've gone down some weird porn hub rabbit hole so wrong, unless you've gone down some weird porn hub rabbit hole.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, right, after you do that, the democratic stuff and then you say that yeah that that would be a be an interesting segue it's a little tag, yeah right, yeah, little tag, but that those are. Those are a couple of tags that you know because I'm I'm rehearsing every day of course you are and writing new material and if I get you know there you know there's some poor people at at our, our community pool I'll go over the pool, we'll get talking. I'm like, hey, I'm gonna kind of throw something at you and sure you know, that's where I'm getting some of my profile groups there you go.
Speaker 3:Hey, get it wherever you can but they appreciate it, they're.
Speaker 2:They're okay with it for sure, I, you know, I I it because those tags hit and I wanted to keep them and I don't think, I don't think, uh, the improv is going to hold.
Speaker 3:You know, flash the light at me at five minutes, you know no, they they'll keep uh, because they're not going to let you go 12 minutes, but they'll let you go six or seven for sure. Yeah, that's all I ask, and then basically, depending on how they want to do, like, you can go out there and do five to seven, and then that just cuts into your second little set between the feature and the headliner.
Speaker 4:That's all. That's all.
Speaker 3:But so what I was going to say was what you do the first part, you do the first new tag. You know where you're talking about the Democrats. Okay, like you know, if, uh, if there's like a or no reaction or a oh or a boo, you know, you just say, uh, obviously you can play off of that and go oh what, we're not in a Republican territory here, or you know something like that.
Speaker 2:You know, I was just going to. No, I was just going to say, wow, you pedophiles are so sensitive.
Speaker 3:Okay, yep, double down.
Speaker 2:And you know, if they, if they, if they continue with it, then I, then I would go into. Come on you. You don't understand. I'm not making fun of democrats. I'm making fun of the half of america that thinks all democrats are pedophiles, when everybody knows it's just 80 of you okay you know, oh yeah. And then somebody gets up and leaves and I'm like, oh, there goes, a pedophile Got to go erase their browsing history.
Speaker 3:Damn Okay, triple down Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Kev yeah.
Speaker 3:I can take it as, as we mentioned earlier in the episode, timmy T takes it to an extreme.
Speaker 2:I just don't. I don't. I don't know when to shut up. I don't and this could be really good for a comedy career, or it can crash and burn me quickly.
Speaker 3:It could be really great for a comedy career, yeah, so yeah, um, okay Did. Raymond give you a? Did Raymond give you a possible timeframe?
Speaker 2:Not, not yet. He's going to, he's going to look at it for the right time and, uh, as soon as he gives me info, I mean Kev, God bless our, our audience, uh, our listeners. I made a post and I did a count there. There are probably, based on, you know, response I, there'll probably be a hundred to 200 tickets sold for that, and that, just that, makes me feel so good.
Speaker 3:Well, it makes you feel good and it also solidifies that you're bringing people into the uh, into the arena, into the uh the venue. So your chances of getting asked back because of that you can, you can, you can flop and they're still going to bring you back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, the guy brings in 200 bodies every time. Yeah, it's a little, it's a little, it's a little. But you know I I'm counting bills over here that's right um kevin. For those unaware, kevin klein is an uncle, uh, or if you're spanish he's a to, a to. That's what that means, okay um and I I guess your um nieces, nephews. They have you tagged. You didn't know about this and now you're known for it. You didn't even know, and it was revealed recently, what you're known as, what Uncle Kevin is known as.
Speaker 3:Yeah, when they're young, I do the shake machine on them, okay, and it's basically what I do is I grab them by the, I get behind them, I grab them by the shoulders and then I shake them real violently, okay, and it's basically what I do is I grab them by the, I get behind them, I grab them by the shoulders and then I shake them real violently, okay, and it's called the shake machine. The shake machine is that we make everybody limber, make sure all the joints are loosened up and the muscles aren't tight, and then we kind of shake them, you know, and they like it, and so they've been practicing on their own.
Speaker 4:So how do you prepare them for this?
Speaker 3:Well, I guess Olivia's going first. Your goddaughter, yeah.
Speaker 1:My favorite cousin, okay, so, oh yeah, no, she's way too tight. She's fighting it. You know, I lift her arm up and I'm not going to actually push it down.
Speaker 3:Okay now, if she would just let her. Oh, there we go.
Speaker 4:Like a noodle. Like a noodle.
Speaker 3:That's right Now. We've got to make sure because you know, I brought the extreme shake machine this year. Yeah, the extreme. Okay, let's make sure that everything's limbered up there. How we doing on the feet here. Okay, I'm gonna do the lights over here, okay, good, all right.
Speaker 4:Gotta get those noodles, oh you're fighting it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's gonna get you injured. Okay, because this is extreme shake machine.
Speaker 4:Okay are you ready?
Speaker 3:Three countdown for yeah, we'll count down all right, three, two, one extreme shake machine. You got me really loose, okay Three two, one. Oh, she's going in circles, oh no.
Speaker 4:Don't make her throw up.
Speaker 3:But when they get to a certain age, you can't do the shake machine anymore. Like, my 25-year-old niece is going to be a doctor next year. I can't be doing that to her, you know. But so I do something different when they get to a certain age, and that is I silly string them whenever I see them. All right, silly string them. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's. It's a lot more expensive than the shake machine because you got to go out and buy a dollar 50 can of silly string all the time.
Speaker 3:But, um, so I went and saw my niece play soccer two weeks ago. Uh, she's a freshman, she made the varsity and she's the leading scorer on the team. It's quite amazing. Yeah, she's really good. Um, so she got to play college ball. Yeah, oh, she's already getting recruited. Yeah, yeah she, she's on a I don't know if it's the national development team, but she is on a high level development program. Uh, yeah, she's really good. But anyway, her sister Rachel is her name Reese was in the backseat of the car with my mom, grandma and Trish, my wife, and she was talking to her little friend and she's like I can't wait, she goes. Uncle Kevin brought silly string and we get to silly string Rachel. That's kind of his thing. He likes to silly string everybody. So yeah, that's my thing, I silly string.
Speaker 2:So you.
Speaker 3:But you see, here's the thing is now there's pressure on you. You got to do that every time. See, that's what I was. Uh, what was was going to ask you. Now that that's my thing. Do I have to find a new thing or do I just go extreme with that?
Speaker 2:No, you, you have to do it every time. Now, if you don't do it one time, they'll be like doesn't Uncle Kevin love us anymore? Is that true? Really, I don't know. I don't know. I just think that you don't want those questions to arise. You just got to stick with your thing, right.
Speaker 2:Like you know, every time Uncle Kevin shows up, we're going to get silly strength. Time uncle kevin shows up, we're gonna get silly string. It's like. It's like, you know my kids, whenever they show up for a weekend with dad, hey, we know there's uh, ice cream sandwiches, klondike bars and hershey's kisses.
Speaker 3:They know it okay, all right every time, that's their thing you know. Okay, then I, I will. I like that you said I can stick with it because, uh, this gives me an opportunity to now reinvent how I introduced the silly string.
Speaker 2:There you go Be creative.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there we go Be creative.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know you don't want it to be predictable, you want to surprise them.
Speaker 3:Exactly, exactly so when you were a freshman in high school, what was your demeanor like? I was very shy and I was afraid of the seniors. You know the people that were older than me. If my, if my uncle would have come when I was playing varsity baseball as a freshman and, silly, string me in front of the team, I would have been mortified uh, yeah, I probably.
Speaker 2:I've probably been like, oh man, he can't do that yeah, right dad, you gotta talk to him.
Speaker 3:He can't do that I did it to my niece at her game now, but you could tell was she embarrassed, I mean uh, she's embarrassed, but all of her teammates came over and they started taking the silly string that was on the ground and putting it on top of her there you go.
Speaker 2:So they were down with it. So she she became more comfortable with it because it was accepted by her teammates.
Speaker 3:Exactly yeah.
Speaker 2:Whereas, like just this last Thursday, I picked Dallas up, he was practicing his. You know Dallas, it takes theater classes. He's for those unaware, he's my 13 year old seventh grader and he's now an actor. That's awesome. And he's a seventh grader in a traditionally eighth grade role second lead in a big play.
Speaker 3:That's awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, he's good. Dallas is coming into his own Kev. He's playing the saxophone really well. He did Happy Birthday to Timmy on the saxophone back in December and he's now an you know, an actor.
Speaker 3:That's phenomenal.
Speaker 2:Taking theater classes in school. But you know, I picked him up on Thursday because, you know, I picked the boys up and I got out because he started walking back into the school. I thought, ok, he didn't see me. So I got out of the car and started walking toward him talking to his uh, drama teacher, his theater teacher, and he was dad. What he, dad, dad, that killed.
Speaker 2:You know I, I saw him, he came out and I was trying to like, hey, doc, give him a hug. You know I haven't seen him in a few days and he was just sure. And then he talked to me in the car. He goes oh, dad, yes, stay in the car, stay in it, you stay in the car. Yeah, I, I think it's because you know he, he gets mortified when his mom, because his mom is an attractive woman and the all the other little boys are your mom's hot. You know he doesn't want that. Oh, really, yeah, really, yeah, they do that to him. Yeah. And you know I just got done with a workout, so I'm sleeveless and showing the pipes and I probably think that he didn't want, you know, the same kind of reaction. So he's just like, oh, what are you doing? What are you doing, dad, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so the next time you pick him up, you're going to get out of the car in a speedo and and I'm going to silly string them, kevin.
Speaker 2:Speaking of which I um uh, in just a few weeks, the uh tv, I'm hosting a tv show, yeah, yeah we're in april now, which was when you were supposed to start shooting, right?
Speaker 3:yeah, production's been moved back to.
Speaker 2:May. Oh man, yeah, I'm excited, but then though, this is good because it gives me more time to get in like TV shape.
Speaker 3:You're in TV shape, Terry Crews.
Speaker 2:There's just a little bit, and I decided what I'm going to do between now and then, over the next month, is I'm thinking of going vegetarian.
Speaker 3:Okay, I've seen numerous people go vegetarian and completely transform their bodies.
Speaker 2:Now Kev, not strict. I mean I'm still going to have chicken a few times a week, Okay, I mean. I got, you know. Need your protein right and and I'm gonna have a steak if I'm at a steakhouse. If I'm at a steakhouse which will be how often?
Speaker 2:not too often, but every other night that you don't eat chicken right I'll have some ribs whenever I catch the waft from spring creek barbecue right down the road. Yeah, anytime there's like a northwesterly wind blowing at 15 plus miles an hour, I catch that waft. And if I catch that waft, I got to go over and get some ribs.
Speaker 3:Okay but you're going to be vegetarian.
Speaker 2:Otherwise, total vegetarian for the next four to six weeks. So yeah, that's going to be my program.
Speaker 3:You're committed, I can tell.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, I need to be committed. No, I'm doing good, I'm doing good with it. I was thinking about doing the vegetarian thing, but I and I actually tried it. Like I tried two or three days with no meat whatsoever. And yeah, you, you, you wouldn't like me, you, I, I. It's a no wonder that a lot of vegetarians, they have a very short fuse. I mean, their body is just dying to eat meat. Think that's what it is. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I just I tried it. I tried it and I was like God, I gotta get some chicken, man, I gotta get some chicken. You know, I got to get some chicken man, I got to get some chicken, you know. So I, I, I it was I. I got in my car and I literally sped to Kroger to get some, to some chicken, and I pulled in the parking lot. I'm like fuck this, not, not quick enough and went to raising canes.
Speaker 3:He had a Jones.
Speaker 2:He had to kill it immediately. And I I didn't even you know, I didn't want to eat inside cause I didn't want to frighten any kids and families. So I, just after I went to the drive-thru, I pulled in the parking space and I'm like that's what we do with Bucky's.
Speaker 3:We go into Bucky's and we get our little sandwiches, or else we get our brisket burritos in the car, right in the parking lot. I love it. Are there buckies in missouri? There's one three miles from my house. It's one of the largest ones in america. Ah, yep, three miles from the house, wow, it's got 100 127 gas pumps wow, really does it have the see?
Speaker 2:the one by me has the uh longest car wash in the world oh really yeah, it's the longest car wash in the world. I don't think this one even has a car wash, got a dog park yeah yeah I mean, if I'm telling you, if you go in that car wash, you're not cut your time traveling, you'll come back tomorrow. I, I, can, I can, I can only imagine if the car wash broke down and you're in the middle of it. You have a three-mile walk. That's how big that car wash is.
Speaker 3:The largest in the world.
Speaker 2:It is the largest in the world. It's the Buc-ee's and Katy off of I-10. Oh yeah, I know that one. I know that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the longest car wash in the world. Crazy, I didn't know that. It gets me thinking, you know, because they have design engineers for everything. They got roller coaster design engineers, they got the car wash design engineers of like, hey, man, we got to go big, we got we. We, we need to clean that fucking car so good that the dirt is screaming for mercy. Like we want a car wash that'll not only knock the dirt off, but when the dirt is on the ground it gets starting to beat. We beat on the dirt so it could tell its friends not to get on this car again. That's right, that's what we want to design. Yeah, yeah, it's just so funny. It's like how, how clean can you get a car? How clean can you get? I mean, you know it looks good Like if you drive out of the world's largest one in in Katie and you drive out on one that where you just sit there for a little bit and pull out, is there a big difference, apparently so Okay, I'll give you that.
Speaker 3:Like the one that we go the one that we go into we have. Uh, they do the lava bath, they do the uh spot-free rinse, they do the ceramic sealant, they do the hot wax, they do the tire shine. So that's just five elements. I mean, the world's largest got to have 15 elements or so.
Speaker 2:Oh my God you need more elements. Those design engineers are going god guys, I know this sounds fucking crazy, just bear with me here. This time we're going for 18 elements they said it couldn't be done and a bunch of like nerdy engineers going okay, man, we can't do it, we just can't do it. Oh, we're't do it, we just can't do it. Oh, we're going to do it. We're going to stay here all fucking night until we get this thing designed. Give me your phones. Give me your phones.
Speaker 3:Can you imagine Mick from Rocky being the boss there, like a hardcore boss Like R Lee Ermey or something?
Speaker 4:From now on, you're Gober Pyle, sir, yes, sir. Do you think I'm cute, private Pyle? Do you think I'm funny, sir, no, sir. Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face, sir, yes, sir. Well, any fucking time, sweetheart Sir, I'm trying. Sir, private Powell, I'm going to give you three seconds, exactly three fucking seconds, to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you.
Speaker 2:He was great man, he was an awesome interview too.
Speaker 3:We kind of became friends with him. We became friends with him.
Speaker 2:We did it, gunny Gunny, gunny Gunny, sergeant Arlie army. Here's a picture of him right here. Uh, he was, yeah, full metal jacket, did a bunch of uh, saving Silverman, just a bunch of other stuff. He was also obviously the voice of the uh, the army, uh, army guy in a toy story movies. Uh, and yeah, he, we, we. We chatted with him um years ago via telephone and every other word was it was a square word, remember that?
Speaker 2:oh, I totally remember that and our, our operations manager, carrie, came in afterwards go, how can you learn we're in bir, birmingham, alabama, and he, he goes. How can you let somebody take our Lord's name in vain on these radio stations? And I'm like, well, first off, kevin Klein was hitting the dump button as much as he could. You were hitting the seven day seven second delayed dump button and he was swearing so much that it still was getting caught on the reload.
Speaker 3:Dude, I got carpal tunnel in that five minute interview.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Kevin's trying to dump everything. So, hey, Kerry, sorry that you know a couple GDs and a couple MFs slipped out on the airwaves, but I'm not going to tell a war hero what he can and cannot say Okay, that that dude put it on the line so you can be in here getting off bossing people around. Okay, Calm down.
Speaker 3:Dude, it's, it's something about uh being a gunnery sergeant in the United States Marine Corps. Because you remember, when we went over to Paris Island, gunnery sergeant Tim Grinstead, who was from Coleman, alabama, every other word was the F word out of his mouth. And then my father-in-law, who was the front row, uh frontline sniper in Vietnam. He went back to Paris Island and became a drill instructor and sniper educator. Uh in a, uh, let me see, I, I, we did this the other day in a seven minute drive. He said the F word 27 times. What? Oh, dude, there is nobody in this planet that can cuss like ken snyder.
Speaker 3:Oh man, he's awesome, that's funny and he does not care who's around I forgot about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kevin klein and I uh were the only morning show, or at least the first at the time. It may have changed since then. We were the first morning radio show to be flown to paris island where they train marines and be allowed like extensive uh access to what is going on. I don't, I don't know, it's, it's so weird. We, we, the, the marines loved us well, okay.
Speaker 3:So when we were broadcasting in birmingham, alabama, one of our Marines loved us. Well, okay. So when we were broadcasting in Birmingham, alabama, one of our hardcore listeners was Rick Hernandez. And Rick Hernandez was the regional coordinator, the regional recruiter, for the Marine Corps, and he was based in Montgomery, the capital of Alabama. Well, they have a program called the Educators Program where they take superintendents, principals and teachers from the local area high schools and they fly them over to Parris Island and show them what the process is when a recruit signs up, and it gets them into the schools more, so that they can talk to more students and maybe get more recruits. Well, he went to his boss he was a brilliant man, rick Hernandez, and he went to his boss and he said you know these guys, 35% of 18 to 34 year old boys, men in Birmingham and Alabama, listen to them. We should probably take them over and let them broadcast what it's like to give their audience the people we're trying to attract the sound and sights. And so they treated me like a recruit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and me too, for the 72 hours we were there. And me too. That was great. I mean, we got, we got exposed to the crucible, which is an unbelievable like finishing touch to a Marine recruiter what they have to do, the obstacle course. But they also. We also did sniper work and kelly hunter and I she was our female co-host at the time we were hitting our targets really well from deep, you know 100, 100 meters, 200 meters, 300 meters or yards, I can't remember what it is, yeah, it's, it's 300 meters.
Speaker 3:Uh was the furthest you can shoot, and jimmy phil, uh, our producer hit one 300 meters. I think you hit a 250.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so dead square. I mean, we were, we were good. Kevin Klein, however, he struggled a little bit.
Speaker 3:I almost got two drill instructors fired.
Speaker 2:Fired because they couldn't get him to hit any kind of target. I mean not even the 50 meter target, which which I could. I could take a firearm behind my back and hit a 50 meter target. You know, Kevin could not hit that in a prone position, completely stable, and yeah, they were getting frustrated with you.
Speaker 3:They brought it Well. So we were supposed to have six shots each of an M 16 rifle and you can choose whatever target you want. So Tim and Kelly are going, you know, balls out, tim's 250 yards, kelly's like 150, 200 yards and I'm 50 meters. 50 meters, and I can't even hit it. And so I get the six shots done.
Speaker 3:Drill instructor comes over and he goes you didn't hit damn thing, did you, kid? I'm like nope. So he says we got to figure out what's going on with you. They bring another drill instructor and give me six more shots. I hit nothing. Again he's like get the gun up to your face, kid. And I'm like okay. So I get the gun out of my face. He goes now, what do you see? I'm like I don't see anything. He goes ain't you looking through your sight? I'm like I don't even know what the fuck I'm supposed to be looking through. So what it turns out, long story short, the third drill instructor came over and I was shooting out of the wrong eye. I'm left eye dominant and I was shooting out of my right eye. No, hold on. We switched over to left eye dominant. I got six more shots. I only hit the target once I suck at shooting.
Speaker 2:That was 50 meters too, and I know, hey, kev, they were they, they the one guy. Just you turned him into a muttering fool. I mean, he's like muttering to, he's back there with Kelly and Jimmy Phil and I muttering to himself Like I in. In 27 years this has never happened, never. I cannot believe we could not get that young man to be able to hit a 50 meter target. It bothered him, you could tell.
Speaker 3:What a sad sack of shit he is.
Speaker 2:No, he, no. He probably said I can't do this anymore. I'm going to be a short order cook. I'm going to retire.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but still, you know the beautiful thing about that. And what nobody understands anymore is I got 18 shots. You guys only got six.
Speaker 2:Ah, there it is. He was sandbagging to get more reps.
Speaker 3:No, believe me, I only wanted to get six. I, I, uh, I, I fear guns. You know that I'm not. I'm not. I'm not anti-gun. I'm anti-gun for me, Cause I don't know how to use them.
Speaker 2:Didn't they? Uh, didn't they tell you? Um? I think they told you that was like that. You would immediately be dismissed as a recruit, right there. They would send you home. If you can't hit 50 with an M16, you're sent home, aren't you?
Speaker 3:Well, I would get another opportunity to go through the training process. But if I can't do that, yeah, my chances of moving forward and becoming a Marine would not be good.
Speaker 2:Wait a minute. So they told you that, okay, this is an incomplete for you. You're going to continue with the program, even all the way through the crucible, which is the hardcore obstacle course, and then we're going to come back to it, and if you can't do it, you can't be a Marine.
Speaker 3:No, no, I would not be able to move on to the next element unless I could show proficiency with a rifle. Same thing happens with the swimming. Okay, you know that's the world's largest swimming pool that they have there at the Marine Recruit Depot in Parris Island. That's the only thing we didn't get to go in, because that's where they do their training, the underwater training and the swimming and stuff like that. If you can't pass swimming, you practice until you can pass swimming.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you would have woke up the next day and gone to the firing range.
Speaker 3:K-San firing range Would have been there, yep.
Speaker 2:You would have been there until it was done, and you just reminded me that swimming pool was massive. Do you remember that? I totally remember it and we watched these. You know, 18, 19 year old. They're in full gear, man, that lot of weight and they have to swim or they go to the bottom. And that was, yeah, that's edgy.
Speaker 3:Well, the thing is, you panic, you know with all that weight on you, you panic. What they don't realize is that that pack is floatable it's, it's a flotation pack as well. Okay, so that that pack is floatable, it's, it's a flotation pack as well. Okay. So if you don't panic, the pack will keep you up. And oh my God, dude, those instructors hate having to throw out the, uh, the, the buoy, the life-saving buoy. They hate it.
Speaker 2:They're like get your ass up, let's go, let's go, yeah, let's go, yeah, so, but my uh to.
Speaker 3:To end the conversation with the shooting um, my father-in-law, like I said, he was a sniper instructor at case on firing range in Paris Island. He found out about my lack of proficiency, questioned why he let me marry his daughter in the first place, Uh, but then said I'm going to give you a shotgun here at the house. We live in, we live in the country and I want you to shoot the barn.
Speaker 2:I shit you not. I missed the barn with a. How do you miss a barn with a shotgun?
Speaker 3:it's real easy. Uh, I am anticipating the recoil, I'm anticipating the kickback, and so I'm, I'm moving just just hold it tighter than I am a pussy.
Speaker 2:Get into an athletic position, man. I am a puss, I don't get that. I don't want it to hurt my shoulder and I feel bad right now. I mean, can you protect your wife? Can you protect his baby girl?
Speaker 3:oh, dude, if there's a knock on the front door, you know she's answering it she does. She's the daughter of a marine sniper exactly, exactly, and you know this from being around me almost 30 years.
Speaker 2:I'm the chick in the relationship totally yeah, yeah, okay, so she's, she's got it taken care of then who knows?
Speaker 2:all right. So yeah, I know you're probably looking at this and going, hey, I could probably rob the kleins and be okay. Yeah, if it's just Kevin at home, you can have your way. But you could probably. You could probably get a moving truck and he'll just stay in the cow or in the corner and have a moving truck pull up and just get it all that's right. But if his wife is home, that's a, that's a daughter of a Marine sniper.
Speaker 3:You're fucked.
Speaker 2:You're fucked. You're fucked. She'll figure out a way to do it. Okay, all right, kevin.
Speaker 3:Klein. This has been loads of fun. Are we good? Are we are we good? Yeah, it's always amazing, man. I love what we do on Mondays. We record these and then love seeing the feedback and I love, absolutely love, what you're doing with the quotes that we've been getting, the kind words we've been getting, and you post that with a clip on your Instagram and on our Facebook page. I really think that this is awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and thank you to those of you, particularly those of you, who have listened this far to our podcast. We appreciate you. You are the oil that greases the Tuttle Cline machinery. If you will, we would ask at this point that, if you haven't already, to like, follow, download, subscribe, give us a rating, do all that stuff for us. It is muy importante for the growth of the show. We'd also ask that you tell your friends about us. You know, just let them know. Hey, man, there's a pretty good podcast out there. It's Tuttle Cline or whatever podcast that they mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah right, there's a really good one out there.
Speaker 2:It's not Tuttle Cline, but let me tell you about Rogan.
Speaker 3:Hey, the worst rated movie of all time, freddy Got Fingered. People still watch that. We know this shitty podcast. You really need to listen to it.
Speaker 2:You gotta hear it, man. My god, it's just, they make you feel good about yourself. These guys are so fucking tragic. We also have great merchandise with a really neat logo. So go to Tuttle Cline Facebook Search that You'll see our whole merchandise laid out there. Kev.
Speaker 3:I'm a little forlorn, if I could use that word. I just did. You're an idiot. You haven't mentioned anything about my new shirt today.
Speaker 2:It's our logo. That is actually one that I would wear.
Speaker 3:Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a cool one.
Speaker 3:Well then, I'll get it for you.
Speaker 2:Okay, but you Okay, but can you take the sleeves off for me? It might come like that I'm just kidding, that'll be fine. That's a sharp one, thanks.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like this one.
Speaker 2:If there was a large to show up at my door by UPS or something like that, I would wear that.
Speaker 3:Wow, okay, because I've got new shirts in the past and you haven't really liked them.
Speaker 2:The baseball Jersey, the football Jersey. Some of them are a bit much. Some of them, you know. Some of them, uh, you know, just scream, I have a tiny penis again, I'm the chicken, this relationship. What do you have coming up, kevin Gline?
Speaker 3:I'm really excited about the release of the uh, john Wayne Gacy attorney interview that I did for the Fuzzy Mike. That happens this week. And then God forbid man. Hopefully I'm not picking up debris after the storms today. I'm really worried about these.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hey, let me know how it's going, all right. Send me a text every so often.
Speaker 3:Well, like I tell my mom whenever I go on a trip, she's like make sure you tell me when you get there. I'm like watch the fucking news. If you don't see a plane went down, I made it there you go. Yeah, if you don't see, uh, if you don't see tornadoes and roofs taking off the house, I'm okay.
Speaker 2:Oh, gosh, kevin. Huh, what's wrong with you there?
Speaker 3:yeah, you're so incorrigible uh-huh all right kevin what do you got?
Speaker 2:well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to go up a little bit, okay, uh, try to get up at least uh once or twice uh-huh and just continue to rehearse and practice on my stand-up, continue to get in shape for my cutting uh, eight episodes of the tv show I'm gonna be cutting now, in about a month and looking forward to that man, that's about it okay just being a dad and you know, hanging out we'll tell the kids.
Speaker 2:And uh, everybody, I said hi well, you can fucking do that yourself okay, hi kids, oh, and don't forget audrey's, uh, audrey's podcast yeah, she has a new episode that, uh, that is released. You put the picture up there, we go. Uh, new episode that is released. Can you put the picture up there, we go. New episode released every single Tuesday. I tell you I love it. Oh, kev, I'm her guest on episode five, are you really? Yeah, the one out right now is Jonas, her brother, as the guest.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:And then I'm out next week. I'm on episode five.
Speaker 3:Well, I would offer my services to be a guest, but I know that the response would be oh, that's okay, I already have friends that are coming on with me.
Speaker 2:Audrey's brilliant way of saying fuck you without saying fuck you.
Speaker 3:Exactly, it's your hype girl, Audrey Tuttle. H-y-p-e. Your hype girl, Audrey Tuttle.
Speaker 2:Have a good one, Cal.
Speaker 1:That's it for this episode of the tuttle and klein show. See you this wednesday for an all-new episode. Also, you can catch tuttle on tv. He is a handsome man and you can get more client on his podcast, the fuzzy mike, with new episodes on tuesday. Stay fuzzy friends, and thanks for listening to the tuttle and klein show. Yo all right, take the yo out.
