Tuttle & Kline
Award winning morning radio partners for 25+ years, Tim Tuttle and Kevin Kline share stories and insights through organic conversation and natural humor.
Tuttle & Kline
Ep #5: Lights, Camera, Laughter – Unfolding the Unknown
Ever wonder what moths were up to before Edison sparked up their world? Or imagined blasting a UFO with a shotgun, like one bold Texan? Buckle up and join us as we dissect the government's UFO disclosures with a skeptic's eye and a prankster's heart.
From gym fashion faux pas to extraterrestrial enigmas, we're serving up a smorgasbord of tales that'll have you laughing and pondering the vast unknown.
Thank you to our sponsor: https://www.airinnovationsllc.com/
We strike a chord with the timeless tunes of Led Zeppelin, exploring the profound impact their music has on our lives. But it's not all light-hearted reminiscing; we take a sobering turn to discuss the heart-wrenching topics of youth violence and the desperate need for compassion in today's society based on the high school fight in St. Louis.
Thank you to our sponsor: Home Video Rescue: https://homevideorescue.com/
Closing out with reflections on today's world, we muse on how yesterday's nerds are now the lawmakers and tech titans shaping our discourse and we dream up our first actions as President—hypothetically speaking, of course.
So, come for the chuckles and leave with a dose of deep thoughts and hearty laughs., and thank you for being here!
Welcome to the Tuttle and Client Show.
Speaker 2:Oh, Calvin, we're back and we're going to do this again, huh.
Speaker 3:Totally Been looking forward to it.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and I've been looking forward because last week you told me that you have some Tuttle and Client shirts. You bought three of them. Yeah, custom made buddy, and I love that one right there. Hopefully you get a chance to see the podcast. I know a lot of you. You're on the sound only podcast platforms, but if you get a chance, always pop into YouTube just to see what Kevin Klein's wearing it's phenomenal yeah, this is a martini glasses and drinkware.
Speaker 3:I love it with our logo on it. I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thanks, it's awesome, it's gaudy and that is just fantastic. That's me, kevin Gaudy Klein. That's right Of course, of course I'm going to work out afterwards, so I'm in full douche mode with my my, that's a hoodie yeah, I like that. That's cool. Yeah, my, my ex used to make fun of me. It's like you're dripping sweat, you got a hoodie. What are you worried? You're going to get cold or something like that.
Speaker 3:Well, you could yeah. I mean even though you're in Houston. I mean once you work out that sweat in doors and you go outside.
Speaker 2:You know I never use the hoodie.
Speaker 3:Oh, you don't.
Speaker 2:I just like the look.
Speaker 3:It is a good look.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess I could put something in the hoodie if I wanted to smuggle something.
Speaker 3:you know, like you know but I just don't want to smuggle into a gym.
Speaker 2:Exactly, I don't there's. There's not much for me to smuggle these days.
Speaker 3:No, no smuggling. I'm dying. It's a dying career.
Speaker 2:No, because everything's legal now. Yeah, right, excuse me, sir, that marijuana. You seem freaked out. Yeah, you got some sweat beads coming down your head for it. Just want to let you know. In this state it's completely legal. Yeah, as a matter of fact, that looks like some good shit. Can I try some? I'll do it after I'm off duty. There you go. All right, keva, this is a fascinating thing to me, and you know, I know your position in regards to UFOs. You were always like, until I'm abducted and anally probed, I am never going to believe this crap myself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. And even then, I don't even know if I would believe it. You know, I just, although I know that the government says that they're releasing reports. Is that right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they released a report a couple of years ago that said, ok yeah, that whole Area 51, roswell thing, that was, that was a thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because we can trust the government to release all the truth.
Speaker 2:It can have. Basically, the way the world is is if you have, like if you have a report, and the government calls it BS or conspiracy. It's true, it's absolutely true, right, and it's just a matter of time before they have to go. Yeah, sorry about that.
Speaker 3:I got. I got to admit and I just recently found this out, Timmy T, Probably about a year and a half, two years ago that I am very good friends with a guy who was the commander at Area 51.
Speaker 2:No way.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and he was also the commander of the International Space Station for six months.
Speaker 2:What did he say?
Speaker 3:I haven't talked to him about it. I haven't talked to him about it.
Speaker 2:I don't know what he would be able to say. Yeah, that's true too, because I like to ask questions. You know I got. I have family and friends that have security clearance and I would like to ask a lot of poignant questions. Yeah. But I know they'd be like you are the last person I'm telling them, literally literally. If it was just you and me left after a nuclear holocaust, I still wouldn't tell you because I know that you know it would still be like spread among whatever like species lived.
Speaker 3:Yes, he'll find some podcast that he can talk about it on. Exactly so yeah.
Speaker 2:Anyway, the reason I brought that up, kev, is I met a guy over the past few days and I don't know if you remember this or not. We covered it actually on the morning show in 2008. It was a big story Stephen Bill, texas, the UFO sighting that literally the whole town and then other towns around it and even like police officers, you know, went on record and say, yeah, man, it was, it was there, it was hovering. I mean, the stories are pretty wild and he was there. This guy I met was, was there, really, yeah, and you know he got. You know he's talking about the lights and it's hovering and it's just so obvious and everybody's talking to each other and saying, yeah, I see this, do you see this? Just want to double check. And you know, it was such a long lasting thing that you can check in and talk to people as it's happening.
Speaker 2:But he told me and it's interesting enough, he told me that he brought a shotgun with him. Ok, I get that, yeah, and I was like, well, why did you bring a shotgun? And he said he did not want to get abducted. Yeah, be a scary thing, he. His thought was, if you know, if they came down, or so you know blue creatures or whatever came down. He would try to pump a few rounds into that, yeah. Or, if you know, they started lifting them up. You know they got that tractor beam thing. Yes, he would have fired up into the ship to see. If you know, it would let him go, and I, like dude, that's a hell of a fall, though, man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right, that would be.
Speaker 2:You probably, you probably just want to let them bring you up there and figure out up there if there's a safer way for you to get back.
Speaker 3:Do you find it amazing that you know what we see from alien life, that their technology is so much more superior than ours? I mean, we don't have a like tractor beam that we could you know we don't.
Speaker 2:No, kev, you've seen some of the. You know the the Air Force video when we got our Air Force guys out. You know the guys, you know the F 16s about what those things can do just stop and then gone. Yeah, 4,000 miles an hour, just stop on a dime and it's just so irregular of movement. So they got some kick ass technology that we would I'm actually afraid, if we ever really got our hands on it, because we got a bunch of assholes on top who would not use that for good. They would. They would figure out a way to use it against us.
Speaker 3:Man. We do have some amazing technology in our military, though.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:It's crazy.
Speaker 2:But, kev, you know I was thinking like I do. I mean, I get a lot of time alone and you know, when I'm doing cardio and everything like that I was thinking that this guy brought his shotgun to the UFO sighting because he's worried about getting abducted. You know what, if it was paradise that they were taking to you, taking you to and this was your only chance to get there, this was it. They had a big meeting on whatever planet and said we want Billy Bob from Stephenville, texas, on our paradise. He fits whatever dynamic profile that they're looking at and they want him there. And you know this guy because he had a shotgun and he's paranoid and he seemed hostile. They noticed that they did, yeah, and they're like. They're like, dude, we had a paradise for you, man. I mean, we had a beach, cabana, hammock, beautiful alien women that'll do all sorts of things you like done to you and for you. And you know, never make you feel bad about yourself or feel guilty. And you blew it with your aggressive shotgun.
Speaker 3:No, bro, it can't go back in time on that one brother. Yeah, it's it.
Speaker 2:That was one shot and I got to think that I got me thinking some more and I was actually talking to the girl that I'm dating, the beautiful woman I'm dating.
Speaker 3:It's a new girl.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, we were through, you know, midway through week two, heading to week three here.
Speaker 3:Oh good, I didn't see a new girl update on the battle plan, so I didn't know if we were going to get one.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, I just I don't want to jinx it. She's phenomenal, though, man. The more, the more time goes by, the more I'm like oh wow, this may be good, nice, but I'm not going to jinx it. Ok, I'm not going to jinx it, but she asked me, you know, because I told her about that whole, what if they're taking us to paradise thing? And she said well, you know, she asked me a question and she said well, not knowing, not 100 percent, sure would you let them abduct, you, tim?
Speaker 3:You know. Well, that's the question, Sure.
Speaker 2:Well, what would you do, Cav? I mean now that, now that I've exposed you to at least the concept of hey, what if they're coming to take you to paradise? And for you it'd be like it'd be like metal bands 24, seven. You know it would be that kind of thing. What if they're taking you? I mean, would you let them?
Speaker 3:No, because you've lived with her. You've been with me for 30 years. You know that I'm the eternal pessimist, but I like to call it realism. The other shoe is going to drop sometime. You're going to get me up and then you're screwed. You know you're not leaving, you can't go anywhere and all of a sudden you realize that paradise came with buggering every 30 minutes.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, Cav, that is so funny. Here we go again. Are we thinking? Because she asked me that. She said, hey, would you go with not knowing, now that you know the possibility exists that it could be paradise? And I said well, I thought about it for a minute. I said well, number one, I don't want to leave my kids.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a good call.
Speaker 2:I love my kids and I even said to her. I said you know, I like things, I like where things are headed with you and I I don't want to just abandon that. I mean, you know what, if you're the one? Yeah. I'm saying, and you know, she seemed about that which is cool, which is very cool.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it didn't chase her away on that one Nice, smooth move, subtle.
Speaker 2:But you're right. I mean you know they could be taking you to their planet to use you as a sex slave and you're literally being sodomized, and for the rest of your life, by, like, giant alien penises, like it could just be the you know? You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying.
Speaker 2:So yeah, the risk is too much there. Totally, totally. After about three or four years, I'm like Jesus man. You warned me out, don't you want some new? You know, come on.
Speaker 3:After three or four years you don't have a sphincter and nothing's held in anymore.
Speaker 2:Just drop me off in Vegas, give me a hundred dollar bill and go pick up another sucker.
Speaker 3:There you go, secret safe with me, yeah.
Speaker 2:I won't tell anybody about the sodomy.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm trying to say yeah, you're dropping me in Vegas. What happens happens and stays Exactly hey, so win-win.
Speaker 2:Right, that is so funny that you thought the same thing. Yeah, why did we both think we're going to be sodomized by aliens?
Speaker 3:Because that's what you hear about from aliens. That's what they do. They don't come out here and yeah, they don't nasally probe you, they ain't really probe you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like hey guys, come on, man, that's the worst place for you to be looking. Yeah, that's probably why you hate us, why we hate you, that's why we fear you. The Tuttle and Clive podcast, it's a good time is brought to you by Air Innovations.
Speaker 3:I was going to ask do they have air conditioning on the ship in this paradise?
Speaker 2:You know what we got, guys, as long as that thing is hovering in the Houston metro area, I am sure there's a very valiant and phenomenal technician at Air Innovations that would take the call and just say hey look, just don't abduct me, that's right, but I'm going to come up there and I'm going to fix your AC unit. I know it's hot as heck, you know, here in Houston in June, july and August. So I am going to do what it takes because they're available 24 seven. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they are. I don't. I don't know whether they have a tractor beam to get up to an alien ship, but they have the technology to get to your house and they all have neat sets of tools. And this is a five star rated company, Kev. I mean, it's the best you can get. These are people. I read some of the reviews I'm like, oh man, these, these technicians are heroes. Yeah. I probably wouldn't go on to that extra length myself, and that's probably why I'm not in Air Innovations.
Speaker 3:Air Innovations technician have you ever been in an attic in the middle of summer in Houston. It's not fun, it's not fun, kev.
Speaker 2:When we first moved to Houston, the Great Woodhouse yeah, I had to go in there. I think it was the year after 2006. I had to go in there to get a box out of there and I came out. I was. I looked like Moses Malone in the third quarter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just, just just just dripping and yeah, so they'll go in there and they'll make that happen, because that's what they do. That's what their duty is. They're happy to do it. Air Innovations also has the preventative maintenance programs. Make sure your AC unit is ready for the summer of 2024. Kev said last week that summer 2023 was a record breaker. You've seen some information. Where do you get this? Farmers on Manac or something like that. No 24 could be worse.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I get it from various sources NOAA, the National Oceanic Atmospheric Association and Administration, whatever it is. Yeah, they say that with the La Nina coming, that it's going to be hotter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, is it La Nina.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the El Nino is on its way out and we're seeing a strong La Nina coming in.
Speaker 2:Okay, and I know a lot of you are confused right now. A lot of people are like hey, what is La Nina? I mean in Spanish, la Nina is the Nina. The. Nina. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, so here are innovations. We got the phone number right on the logo right there on the screen, yeah. Or you could go to the description in the podcast. We'll have a link where you could just go right to their website. They are fantastic people, kev. You do what I do, I mean, especially since you know you are retired and I'm kind of semi-retired Way too much time on your hands and there's stupid things that jump in your head and you have to figure out some stuff or look some stuff up and it just costs you so much time and energy All the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, me and idle thoughts just don't mix, so I've always got to be thinking about something or doing something.
Speaker 2:And are you like me, where it's like after you get done with a an hour or an hour and a half rabbit hole that does not positively affect your life in any way, shape or form? Are you like embarrassed? You're like why did I do that?
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, and I wondered you know how can I ever get that hour and a half back? And you can't. It's like wasted time.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and you know I've had a couple over the past week. First off, I don't know how this got in my head, but I was thinking to myself. I think I walked out at night to go get my mail and I saw some mobs around the lights.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:And I thought to myself you know, before light bulbs were invented, what did mobs do? Yeah, yeah where did they come?
Speaker 2:from yeah, that popped in my head. Of course, I can't have that in my head without knowing what it is, and this is how it all starts all the time. Uh huh, you have to know. So I looked it up and they actually used to just like fly into candle flames. Remember, back in the pioneer days people had the candle, or like the kerosene lamp or something like that. Yeah, they used to just fly right into that.
Speaker 3:Oh, you thought we were excited about electricity. Holy crap, think about the moths. Now we don't have to die.
Speaker 2:Do you think Thomas Edison is like a hero in Moth World?
Speaker 3:Oh, they've got to erect statues of him somewhere.
Speaker 2:They got statues of. Thomas Edison in Moth Town, USA. I'm telling you that right now he has safe countless lives, you know. Yeah he has. They probably have the memorials where it's like, hey, johnny Moth, back in 1817, he flew right into a campfire. As we miss him, he was, he was. Thank God Thomas Edison came along and got us out of that flying into campfire stuff that is, that's funny.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, stuff like that pops in the head, oh yeah all the time, all the time.
Speaker 3:Like you said, you have a lot of time to be thinking about it. When I go on my runs, it's, yeah, constant.
Speaker 2:Constant.
Speaker 3:I've often thought, as you just kind of alluded to, where do well this? This is how my dog's mayor, sconeyville, happened, what you know. Where do they? Where are the canine political entities? You know, because you got to have, you got to have somebody ruling right. This is true.
Speaker 2:I mean they, they they have to have, you know, structure too, don't they? I mean it's it's not as intense as ours or as corrupt as ours. They're not assholes that screw each other over constantly, but they probably have some kind of structure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, and I think about that. And then in the summertime I'll see lines of ants, you know, and I'll be like how did they get so uniform? You know, like because it looks you know like because it looks. It looks chaotic, but there's actually a structure to that Exactly. And how claustrophobic is it underneath the ground? That's true too. There you go, you know there's.
Speaker 2:So ants are frightening. Yeah, because they. I mean, you can tell they have a system. Yep, they have. You know, there's some like ants, some alpha ant that's keeping shit moving right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the queen. The queen ant, I believe it's the queen ant.
Speaker 2:Okay, so the the alpha is a queen.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I got you, so she would be an Omega right? Yeah, I don't know, I don't, I'm sorry, I'm Venus.
Speaker 3:It's all Greek to me, right, but this gets me. Oh, before we go, last week you brought up the dung beetle. Okay, yeah, so you know what? The most powerful, strongest entity on the planet, not true, not?
Speaker 2:true, the dung beetle.
Speaker 3:Did you know that a dung beetle can lift 1000 plus pounds of its own weight?
Speaker 2:Hold on, Not like a thousand like a thousand times A thousand times, wow. So like like in a bench press, a squat, you know, did it? Did it specify the exact?
Speaker 3:move, yeah they, but what they do is they take. They find their prize lump of shit and then they they take it to wherever they need to take it so that the rest of the congregation can eat.
Speaker 2:So they can walk with 1000 times their weight.
Speaker 3:So other people can eat.
Speaker 2:Yes, this is correct, other beetles can eat, right. So that would be the equivalent of you know, I'm a. I'm 205 pounds, right? Well, you know, I just had a weekend with my sons. I don't eat as well. I'm 209 pounds. So that would be the equivalent of me taking 209,000 pounds, yes, putting it on my back and walking to feed the village. That's right, holy cow, that's strong, isn't that amazing? And that's stronger than an ant.
Speaker 3:Stronger than an ant. Yep Yep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and and that you know that if you think about it, you know all these animals that are pound by pound stronger than us. I mean, they say that dolphins are smarter than us too. Right, so can you imagine like if, if dolphins ever got feet oh wow and could just come out, they would rule us? Sure they would, they would abs if they ever could like walk on land. I mean, cause they're smarter than we are they would, they would, they would mess us up bad. Thank God they don't evolve.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:No, just stay there in the water, and they would frighten us.
Speaker 3:Exactly and be friendly in the water.
Speaker 2:And that's the thing is. They're so cute with their noises and everything like that and their bottle nose yeah, you wouldn't see it coming. I mean, all of a sudden you're being dominated and destroyed by a, like a group of dolphins that have legs that have evolved.
Speaker 3:And then just think if they crossbred with a dung beetle, oh dude, you're screwed, you're screwed. Yeah.
Speaker 2:They would be. They would be carrying large amounts of shit for us to eat. This is all you're gonna eat, that's right, and we'd be their pets. They'd be like ah, how's?
Speaker 3:it feel how funny is it now?
Speaker 2:How funny is it now You're in that little cage? Hold on, we got, we got. We got a family of dolphins that want to come over and look at you.
Speaker 3:Hold on.
Speaker 2:Hey, you want a t-shirt, he's got some humans here, I want a t-shirt, kev I. There's another one. That, uh, another rabbit hole I got into last week and I think you may relate or, you know, be like, okay, I get it. Uh, I was watching the seventies movie. Let's do it again. It's with Cindy Sidney Portier.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:And Bill Cosby. It's like a you know. Uh, jimmy JJ Walker was in it, oh, okay. And uh, john Amos was in it. We're good friends with him. We were good friends we were.
Speaker 2:That's how we talked to him. For those unaware, john Amos, kevin, you could put a probably a picture up of John Amos and you'll know exactly who we're talking about. He was the dad in good times. He was a diehard one of the villains and I think diehard two or three, I can't remember specifically which one. Uh, he was also McDowell in coming to America and we interviewed him probably about 10 years ago. And Kev huh, kevin Klein, uh, confused. James Earl Jones, the co-star, you know guy of the deep voice who played the King, king Joffrey, yep, joffrey to beer, yeah.
Speaker 2:And coming to America, voice of Darth Vader and all that. He confused James Earl Jones with James Earl Ray, the guy that shot Martin Luther King, yeah, and what was your exact question for John Amos that literally caused the needle to scratch and stop everything?
Speaker 3:What was it like being in the same room with James Earl Ray, which isn't a far stretch, because wasn't John Amos around Martin Luther King when he got shot?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they were friends.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's one of those things where be careful what you put in your mind, because the whole time before we got talking to John Amos, I'm like don't say James Earl Ray, Don't say James Earl Ray. Instead of don't say James Earl Ray, I should have said say James Earl Jones, say James Earl Jones because you think of you. Say what you think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do that all the time. Whenever I do that, I automatically say it. I have no filter and I have no way of stopping it.
Speaker 3:I know right.
Speaker 2:It's already in there.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, like you know, don't say cocksucker, don't say oh, cocksucker. Oh, there it is. Yeah, yeah, so that was great. I mean gotta give John Amos credit. He was really cool about it. He knows you just made a mistake. But yeah, basically you wanted to connect him to the person that murdered his friend.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that's the way it sounded.
Speaker 2:That was awesome. Awkwardness though, yeah, it was. So you know, let's do it again and I'm in this rabbit hole about that movie. By the way, that was one of the movies that like when we first got Cable when we were little kids remember when Cable first came out late seventies, when we were little kids.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we didn't get it, but I remember everybody having it.
Speaker 2:I mean, they didn't have much programming then. So you literally, you watched let's Do it Again and Gumball Rally and you know you watched Jaws and Jaws 2. That's all like round the clock. So I'd seen that movie so many times. But you know, I'm looking through the movie and I'm looking okay, there's Jane Kennedy. She was in it. She's beautiful. She was the former Miss Ohio. She was on NFL today on CBS. Remember we were kids. That's how I remember her. Yes, you know, and I got into that rabbit hole and I'm looking up Jimmy the Greek because he was on that. Remember, Jimmy the Greek.
Speaker 3:Jimmy the Greek Snyder? Yeah, he lost his job because of some less than colorful language.
Speaker 2:Yes, his comment about black athletes got him banished from the kingdom and you know. So I'm looking up that clip. You know, basically some reporter walked up to him after he had too many whiskies. Same thing with Fuzzy Zeller or the Tiger Woods back in 96. You walk up to somebody who's had their daily whiskey and you put a microphone in their face and they say something stupid. Anyway, you know, I got caught down that thing and then Brett Musburger was on that show.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I got caught on that. You know his comment about the Florida state co-eds that one time. Remember that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well then, when he was gushing over the Alabama quarterbacks, girlfriend.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:He's a little pervy older guy there, yeah, but it also got me thinking, you know, because I watched the Florida state comments. It got me thinking. When you and I were doing a year of radio in Tallahassee, I was like, do you remember we did a remote broadcast from the bookstore.
Speaker 3:Totally remember that it's when we first got there.
Speaker 2:And I can see what Musburger was talking about Literally like one after another, some of the most beautiful women we've ever seen. Yeah, In one place at one time. Mm, hmm.
Speaker 3:Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong. I think that I was really glad at that point that I did not go to Florida State University. They recruited me for baseball at high school and I'm so glad I didn't go, because I never would have been able to go to class. I would have been curled up in a fetal position in the corner of my dorm room. That's how many beautiful women there are.
Speaker 2:We were in shock. I mean, there was a time where, you know, we were supposed to go live. We had a queue to go broadcast. Hey, you guys are going live and you and I are just sitting there with our mouths open going. What planet are we on? Seriously, Are we getting abducted?
Speaker 3:by aliens no-transcript.
Speaker 2:Good recall, kevin Klein. Thank you, yeah, and you know so. And then I'm still stuck in this rabbit hole, kevin. I'm looking up Google images. You know Google Earth. Yeah. And I'm looking, you know where our government housing was, where we lived, and I'm looking up the when we broadcast from Florida State Games, the Florida State, florida game. Yeah, we had one of our knuckleheads that had that sign.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, so we? There's only really one way to go into a dope walker dope walker stadium and that is the main drag, and we broadcasted for every Florida State home game, and this is the other. Chris Wankie was there and he won the Heisman Trophy. Florida, their in-state rival, came to town and played, and so we dressed our one of our employees up and he was six, six, about, maybe. What do you think? Meethead was about? Three, 10, three, 20. Yes, huge, he did not shave, he was a gorilla of a man.
Speaker 2:He looked like Sasquatch. He really did. I mean serious. If they were ever going to have a movie where they were casting and looking for like I don't know, like a squad of Sasquatches, they would hire him in a second as soon as he walked in the door.
Speaker 3:Yep and his name was meethead, and we dressed him in an elephant thong. We did Elephant thong and we we set him on the street corner where everybody was going into the stadium with a sign that said I'm Steve Spurrier's gay love child.
Speaker 2:And all the Florida Gator fans first off, the Florida state fans driving in honking who aren't loving it. Yeah, I mean, they were loving what we're doing. You know we're at Tallahassee morning show, so that's who we're going for.
Speaker 3:Of course.
Speaker 2:And every Gator fan that was driving in there was just so angry that we that we would make fun of their coaching God like that.
Speaker 3:Spurrier was a Heisman trophy winner also and he was a legendary coach. They called him the old ball coach at the University of Florida and, yeah, we, we had a little fun with that.
Speaker 2:I know that we were childish with our little different time. We were a different age, it was a different kind of morning show and it was no holds bar. I mean that that's light in terms of the crap we used to do.
Speaker 3:Maybe we can do a whole podcast episode about all the stuff we did on the air at WXSR in Tallahassee.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:That we couldn't talk about it on regular radio. There's no way.
Speaker 2:And our first year in Birmingham, yeah, and we can have a whole podcast of stuff that we did that you could never do today. Uh-uh, ever Like literally would have you not only canceled, probably arrested.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you, you couldn't even describe on the air what we did anymore.
Speaker 2:I, yeah, I, you know I've had my kids like asking about it and stuff like I can't tell you guys.
Speaker 3:Yeah, thank goodness you were young.
Speaker 2:You know Jonas is 20 now and he's in it. You know he's an adult, he can hand yeah and I. He's like. You know we've gotten into that and I'm like boy. I can't even describe some of this stuff to you. I just couldn't, as, as a good father, I can't tell you what a scumbag I used to be.
Speaker 3:But it put a roof over your head, kid. So it did. It paid the bills.
Speaker 2:It paid the bills. Uh, speaking of paying the bills, Kevin Klein, we have a good friend of the show, Chris, and Chris runs home video rescue, love him, love the service too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know what I found the other day, timmy T, that I probably didn't have to send to Chris.
Speaker 2:What'd you find?
Speaker 3:We found the VHS of our wedding Not yours and mine, but Trish, yeah, you and your actual wife. Yeah, that'd have been weird.
Speaker 2:Not, not, not your sick other from your radio career for, you know, 28 years, that's right, his actual wife, that's lovely man?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think we found it. I think once we started talking about Chris and home video rescue, I think Trish actually went and looked for it.
Speaker 2:What is the medium that is on? It's on VHS.
Speaker 3:Okay, it's deteriorating every day, man, I know. And we don't have a way to plug it in. We don't have a VHS player anymore. We don't have a way to plug it in and test and see how good the quality is, so we're just going to have to send it.
Speaker 2:I would hate for, kevin Klein, you to lose that first dance that you had to the BGs. I would hate for that to be gone forever because you did not reach out to home video rescue. We've got a link in our description, by the way, for those of you who have this. They handle the mediums of VHS, beta, eight millimeter and a bunch of others. Just go to their website All the details and instructions on how to have your memories last a lifetime instead of having to sit in your closet and deteriorate on a daily basis. Kev, the Bee Gees thing is just phenomenal, though I can't believe you remember that. Yeah, more than a woman. I think it was right. More than a woman.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So what my wife did? We chose Thank you from Led Zeppelin as our first dance song, good man, the reason we chose it is because we went and saw Page and Plant in St Louis and they opened with Thank you and I just started bawling because, number one, I'm watching Page and Plant live. How cool was that? It was amazing, tim. And then I'm there with my girl and I just squeezed her and started crying and I was like you know, that's going to be our first dance, but we had the DJ scratch it in about a minute and a half in and then we went into more than a woman from Saturday Night at Peever.
Speaker 2:That is Kev. That is beyond Okay. By the way, home Video Rescue standing by, they'll get you squaring away. Chris is a great guy. It doesn't matter what you have on these tapes, he's just going to make it digital for you, so it'll last forever. I'll put it on one of those little USB things. Yep, you can get right in your computer, you can download it on your stuff and have a backup and everything like that. That's what you want to do with these precious memories. I did not know that. You saw Page and Plant Twice, holy cow, that's when they were doing their kind of acoustic slash, indian infused.
Speaker 3:This was Welcome to Clarksdale. It was in support of that Welcome to Clarksdale. Then the next time I saw them was the follow-up release to that and I saw them in Denver at Fiddler's Green and that was an outdoor venue and it was obviously the mile high city. After every song, Robert Plant had to take a hit of oxygen.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 3:Well, how old were they then, tim? They were probably early 70s. Do you think they're early 70s right now? Okay, then they had to be 20, 29 years ago 30 years ago.
Speaker 2:Late 40s, late 50s.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Early 50s.
Speaker 3:Yeah, early 50s.
Speaker 2:Wow, okay. That's probably why Robert Plant won't do a Zeppelin tour, even though he's been promised a billion dollars, is because he just can't get there where he was when he was 25 years old. He can't get there.
Speaker 3:He still sounded great, though. You know he sounded great and fans are forgiving. Fans know that that's impossible for him to get where he was.
Speaker 2:We age man. I actually messaged the Led Zeppelin I think it was Facebook and I said look anything, anytime. Robert's feeling gassed in the middle of a set, point the microphone out to the audience. We know every word, every word. We know every word. There will be 75,000 people out there and 70,000 of them will sing every word right back to you while you catch your breath. Yeah, we know, you can't do the 13 second From Kashmir anymore. We know that. Yeah, we don't need to Just go, please, on tour, but they won't Because this is your band.
Speaker 3:You know everything about Led Zeppelin.
Speaker 2:This is.
Speaker 3:Tim's number one. This is Pipeline, right here, buddy. Is it because he doesn't get along with the folks? Or is it because John Bonham is not there, the original drummer?
Speaker 2:You know that's a great question, kev. I mean, his official response is from him. Is you know when they offered him a billion dollars, the band Led Zeppelin one billion with a B Right after they did the 2007 celebration day thing at O2 Arena in London? Remember that Totally? Remember that? Yeah, absolutely. And everybody thought, okay, they're going to have another tour and everything like that. And I don't know if you know this or not and you can look this up and fact check me if you want to 500 million people tried to buy tickets to that show.
Speaker 2:I believe, it, the corporate people, and I don't know which one, specifically BMW, ford, coca-cola or whatever they got together and said look, we will give you one billion dollars for a 12-month Led Zeppelin world tour, biggest cities done. And Robert Plant said well, no, I'm not going to be a traveling jukebox. That's his response.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:But you know there's some rumors that the reason he can't is because, you know, 60-something slash 70-something. Robert Plant cannot compete with 25-year-old Robert Plant. He's the greatest ever.
Speaker 3:And he doesn't want to be remembered as 70-year-old Robert Plant. He wants to be remembered as 25-year-old Robert Plant.
Speaker 2:He does not want you to go to the show and be like boy that sucked, because if you look at that O2 Arena Celebration Day and it's out on it's called Celebration Day Live.
Speaker 3:If you look at it and I hate to say this, but you know I'm a Zeppelin guy and I'm honest he was the weak link in the show- Well, yeah, I mean, any front person is going to be the weakest link, because number one, they're the front person and number two, the guitar doesn't change, your fingers don't change, your voice changes. I get that, I get that, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Exactly, I think he's so revered I mean he's the golden god and he is so revered he does not want to be knocked down from that that pedestal. I can understand that. He just does not, and if he's doing something that's not even close to 25-year-old Robert Plant, he would feel awful. From what I understand, they all love each other and get along great.
Speaker 3:It's good to hear. I like hearing that.
Speaker 2:Like Robert Plant, has a place in Austin and a place in New Orleans, and you can see him every so often there.
Speaker 3:Cool.
Speaker 2:And sometimes Jimmy Page is there with them and they're just sitting in like an outdoor restaurant having a tea or something like that and the people would stop. You know they don't. The cool thing about those two is nobody floods them, nobody, like you know, just all over them. They give because they're I don't know. Do you have any theories on why that is? I mean, those are two of the biggest rock stars in history, yet their fan base gives them room and space.
Speaker 3:I would probably say it's because they were so elusive to get photos of when they were younger and there's nothing, I mean, outside of Robert Plant's spiral hair when he was younger, there's nothing really that stands out. I think they can mesh with the general population and people not realize who they are. Okay, I would know them in a second. Of course you would. You're a major fan. You don't know all of those people who are because I'm familiar with them. But to regular people who don't know, they know what they sound like but don't know what they look like they could they can be anonymous.
Speaker 2:You say that. It's kind of funny. You know, on an annual basis, Spotify gives you like a rehash statistically of what you listened to the year before. And you know, last year and the year before when I, you know, started doing this, I am the point zero, zero, five percent lead Zeppelin listener Like I live. That's how much lead Zeppelin I listen to. Yeah. It's like me and three other dudes on planet Earth that listen that much to lead Zeppelin Crazy, which I'm proud of.
Speaker 3:As you should be.
Speaker 2:And Kev, it's so funny, since we're talking about this, I'm I'm in New Orleans with my ex. We're having a weekend there and I heard that that plant was in town. You know there's a buzz or some people talking that they saw, somebody saw a Robert plant on, you know, near Bourbon Street, I can't remember what it was. You know Jefferson Memorial or whatever, or you know Cafe DuMond or something like that, and I kind of freaked out. I'm like, oh my God, he's here somewhere. So I was. We walked so much. I feel so bad for my ex, probably one of the reasons why she hates my guts now. We walked up and down those streets and I have coming out of my phone Zeppelin songs. Oh, really, yeah, just, you know, like, like it's some kind of dog whistle for him. Yeah, like he's going to come up and go boy, hey, that's my song. Oh, he's not. I've never heard this. I can't believe it. It's fooling the rain. That's a bloody good riff there.
Speaker 3:Is that your song? What's that fooling the rain? Is that in the? In the light, in the light.
Speaker 2:OK, yeah, in the light it's kind of an obscure song off their physical graffiti soundtrack. That's the greatest song in history. But you know I was just playing a bunch of Zeppelin songs just trying to woo him, trying to come here. Plenty, plenty, plenty plenty, plenty, plenty here. Rockstar, rockstar, rockstar, rockstar. And of course they did not work and my girlfriend at the time was rolling her eyes and going what the fuck are you doing? Yeah.
Speaker 3:Well being fanboy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what happens when you have too many hurricanes to.
Speaker 3:You know he's still touring. He's going back out on the road this year with Alathon Krause Again. Oh is he? Yeah, yeah, he and Alathon Krause are doing a whole other set.
Speaker 2:Does he play any Zeppelin at all?
Speaker 3:I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2:OK, because the only time I've seen them Cav is. I saw Robert Plant when he did remember he didn't now in Zen in the late 80s.
Speaker 3:I went to it.
Speaker 2:I was there too Tall cool one. Yeah, tall cool one. I remember I had really good seats because I you know, in all honesty, I didn't deserve them. I moved myself up and I had a sleeveless. Imagine that white shirt that said House of the Holy Led Zeppelin on it. Uh huh.
Speaker 2:And in the middle of the set I think he was doing, you know, just got done with anything goes or something like that, I don't know, I can't remember the song. I took my shirt off because I was a douchebag then too, and I threw my shirt on the stage and for like two or three songs it just sat there on the stage. Finally, he walks over to my shirt. I had to have told you this before, didn't I? I don't know. He walks over to my shirt, he picks it up and he looks at it and he goes. I remember those days, nice, and I was like, oh my God, it's like the heavens opened. Did he throw it back? No, you got to. No, no, no, no. I was I'm so glad.
Speaker 2:I said to myself for years that he's probably, he probably took that back and he's got it right. He put it on a hanger and for it, because it was a really neat painted house, the Holy shirt is really colorful and everything like that. And you know, in my head I'm like, oh, he, that's a keepsake for him. He's got that in one of his places over in England. Sure, he does. Yeah, some roadie use it. Some roadie used it to wipe his ass. I know that, but you OK. So you saw them in in St Louis.
Speaker 3:I did yeah, yeah Great.
Speaker 2:St Louis, by the way, is Kevin Kline's hometown and and Kev, I know that there's a story going on right now in St Louis that really has jumped in your head and you know, obviously I want this podcast not only to be us, you know, not goofing around and and being idiots, but also, you know, a little bit of a therapy thing what's what's?
Speaker 3:on your mind, buddy. I don't know, man, this is pretty heavy. Do you really want to get into it? I mean, we're having just a great. We're just having just a great riff, I mean it's you know what.
Speaker 2:Let's just touch on it a little bit.
Speaker 3:OK, well it's. It's a story that's gone international, not this past Friday, but the Friday before. Two girls in high school at Hazelwood East High School got into a fight and one of the girls got on top of the other girl and bashed her head into the concrete multiple times and the girls now in the hospital, basically brain damaged and basically fighting for her life. And it's, it was a black girl and a white girl and the white girl is like one hundred and five pounds wet and the black girl is a lot bigger. But apparently the white girl started the fight and she's apparently the bully in the school. And finally the 15 year old black girl had had enough and she, they, they fought.
Speaker 3:But my thing is you, you've neutralized the situation. When you get the girl to the ground and you're on top of her, there's no reason to bash her head into the concrete three times. And I can't unsee the video. And it wasn't that. I went looking for the video. It popped up in my newsfeed and it said it said warning graphic. And I'm like they're not going to show that and they did, and I can't unsee it, man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm so sorry, man. I'm so sorry that you know I can't and it's not a race issue with me.
Speaker 3:It's a humanitarian issue with me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I forget about what the mainstream media and their propaganda and their agenda divide us all. I mean, that's what that's what that's all about. You know, if you, if you look at the world today, the people who scream racist are the actual racists. The people who scream Nazi and fascist, they're actually using Nazi and fascist methodology. That would make Hitler proud. So, in terms of and I have to say this in defense of the black girl, cav is, when you get in that mode and you never been in it, have you ever been in a fight?
Speaker 3:No, I mean not a, not an uncontrolled one. I've been in boxing matches.
Speaker 2:Okay, I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but I used to be a little bit of a pugilistic asshole. No, you A little bit, I'm not proud of it.
Speaker 3:The guy that bowed up on Roy Jones Jr used to fight.
Speaker 2:Imagine, and you know when you're in that, that mode it's hard to come down. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Yeah, adrenaline is running high. I get that, I get that.
Speaker 2:I remember I was I split up with this was my very first girlfriend that I was. You know I have her quote unquote love the puppy, love thing. Her name is Stephanie and this is at Ball State and we split up and I she started dating another guy, john Griffith or something like that, and I saw them at a party, an apartment complex party, and I walked into the same party and they were together and he made some kind of look on me. He looked at me like kind of funny, like yeah, you know.
Speaker 3:I got her. You don't.
Speaker 2:And I I blacked out and you know I was there with Trevor Lee, my buddy and a couple and he and I have no idea what happened until you know, maybe 15, 20 minutes after my friends pulled me out of there and and allegedly I hit him like 35 times in 15 seconds.
Speaker 3:Okay. Did you bash his head on concrete?
Speaker 2:No, I did not it was all punches.
Speaker 3:It was all punches and and even. Even that aside, okay, the bashing of the head on the concrete, which is extreme, is excessive, and it's it's going to. If she dies, at least at the least, it's going to be second degree homicide, second degree manslaughter. If she survives it's going to be a felony assault. But what bothers me more about this whole thing is when the girl is laying in the street and she's convulsing, people are fighting over her, not fighting to help her. They're fighting each other over her. Nobody's helping her and I'm like where did we fucking go wrong?
Speaker 3:Oh, I know we don't care about anybody anymore.
Speaker 2:I know there's no compassion at all.
Speaker 3:None, none.
Speaker 2:And I don't know whether that's we're desensitized to it because of the movies we watch and the video games we play and stuff like that, but that is, yeah, that's all. You always want at least a couple people that are present to go. Okay, man, you know we understand what happened there bully getting fought back on. Now we've got to address the situation instead of it continuing and escalating. How long did it take for teachers and administrators to get there?
Speaker 3:It was not on campus. It was right across the street from campus, is what I understand, and no teachers were there and no resource officers were there. Because there aren't any resource officers at the school, because they cut that budget. Okay, and not only well, it depends on who you listen to. They cut the budget. One is one area, and then you hear that the police department and the resource officers won't work there because they were forced to take DEI training and they refused to do it. So they boycott the school, neither here nor there. There wasn't any adult supervision there from the school district, and so a lot of people are saying that the school district is to blame for this. But I mean, it's such a sticky situation and I don't know all the details and nobody knows all the details, it's just what I read. But the thing that bothers me the most is the lack of compassion. Yeah, you know, and that.
Speaker 2:Because we're looking to get video of it rather than help it. Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 3:Well, but apparently there were not. Like the 15 year old girl had her crew and the 16 year old girl had her crew, and when the girls in the middle of the street, they're still fighting. But is this what the future is?
Speaker 2:No, I can't you know. I think there's just cycles of everything you know Okay. And right now we're really on an extreme cycle, like we're really out there, like the pendulum has gone really far out there and it'll soon come back. And you know, right in the middle it's normalcy. And then it goes the other way and then pendulum goes that way.
Speaker 3:I mean, that's just how. Who's going to bring it back? Who's going to bring it back in the middle?
Speaker 2:I honestly think that there'll be some kind of moment, and I don't know what that moment is, a flash point, if you will, and I don't know what happens when that flash point happens. I don't know, because in an ideological civil war first, and a purging and a thinning of the ranks, I don't know. But you know, once that flash point happens and people you know realize okay, man, this is out of line, this is out of hand. I don't know if you remember, in the aftermath of September 11th, Well, that's what I was going to ask you.
Speaker 3:Is that the last time that this country came together?
Speaker 2:Yeah, for those who are too young, september 11th happened in 2001. And at that point you know, there was no black, white, asian, we were all in it together Hispanic nothing. There's no Republican, democrat, conservative, liberal, I mean we literally all, like we just got attacked man.
Speaker 3:We're America.
Speaker 2:We're America. I mean we just that was bad and it lasted a good while. I mean it lasted a year, year and a half, before things started to get a little squirrely again. But yeah, I think something like that maybe a major terrorist attack. I mean Kev. I mean, let's face it, the last three years, right here in the state of Texas, confirmed terrorists have been coming over the border. They're here. Yeah, that's probably what it's going to be, is going to be a coordinated attack by thousands of terrorists just shooting up American citizens. And then we all come together. Then we're like, hey, screw you mainstream media and evil people who want us divided. We're together now.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do. I mean, I didn't know about the, about the terrorist stuff that you just mentioned. I just figured it might be a Putin sort of. It could be. He's talking about his nuclear war stuff.
Speaker 2:You know, they could throw a nuke in Seattle and kill 1.7 million people in Seattle Washington within 15 seconds. It could be that. I mean, nobody knows what it is. Nobody knows what it is. I mean, or if they decide, hey, we're going to go door to door and make man date everybody get a vaccine, and then we all just like they're knocking doors down, strapping us down and giving us vaccine, this is too much. You know, something like that will just hit.
Speaker 3:No, that wouldn't be the flashpoint. Too many people would just take that. Too many.
Speaker 2:No no no, no, not after, not after. They're not after COVID. No, you don't think. No, no, no, no, no, that'd be, that'd be one of the dumbest things that they ever did is if they decided to do that mandate, because you know there are way too many people that had adverse reactions and there are way too many relatives that lost people mysteriously in the aftermath of the vaccine. Okay, that would never happen. Okay, all right.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I don't think. I think they're smart enough to understand that. And the funny thing is, kev, because of AI and because of you know data collection, they know exactly what they're thinking and what they can get away with. I mean, they take all the data that they get from social media and the internet and everything like that and they're like the collective whole. The large swath of people using the internet will not go for this. That will trigger an ideological civil war or international revolution or something. We can't go there because, trust me, they want to know how far they can go.
Speaker 3:Of course they do.
Speaker 2:They want to know how far they can see. You got to remember the normal people don't like control or bossing people around. We're normal people, the people who get in these power positions. They're sociopaths and they get off on controlling people. And now they have data and technology where they can look at and go okay, this is what we can get away with.
Speaker 3:Dude, it's so funny that you say that, because did you watch any of the State of the Union?
Speaker 2:No, no, no no.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:I don't watch propaganda.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, I watched it and I'm looking at the audience, which is Congress in the Senate, and I'm looking at them and I'm like there is not one stud in there. All those people were the biggest fucking nerds in school. Exactly. And they're just they're getting there, they're giving us their comeuppance.
Speaker 2:They're. You know what? They were beaten down in high school. They weren't cool, they couldn't get the hot chick. And now we're all going to pay that's.
Speaker 3:It might not be the case, but that's exactly what I was thinking when.
Speaker 2:I saw this same thing with the tech industry. The reason why they love being we can tell you what you can and can't post is I remember in seventh grade when you stuffed me into a locker motherfucker, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I was just. I was watching that and I'm thinking when is Donald give, when is ogre going to come up there and just go? Because they are man, they are, they are totally. That's exactly what they are.
Speaker 2:That's it, that's it. And they have control now and everybody's going to pay back. Everybody's got, everybody's going to pay. We're going to get exactly now. You and you don't have to be a genius to see that. If you don't see that, I feel sorry for you. If you're so caught up in your you know, I'm with this guy, I'm with that guy. If I'm with this guy, if you're so caught up in that that you can't see that I feel sorry for you. You know, maybe, maybe, someday you'll finally get it.
Speaker 3:So let's get back to the original topic that I want to get your comment on is how do I get this out of my head?
Speaker 2:A good way to get it out of your head. Kev, how do I unsee? This is a total incline, top three.
Speaker 1:Just when you thought they couldn't count any higher. It's total inclines top three.
Speaker 2:All right, here you go. All right, this will do it. This is a good mind eraser. Right here we're going to bleach Kevin's noggin. Cool Things you would do if you became president. Kevin Kline has just been elected by an overwhelming majority landslide 375. Wow, kev electoral votes. The people love you. You can do anything you want. What are you?
Speaker 3:going to do First order business. I'm going to mandate that everybody reads the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 3:Exactly Okay.
Speaker 2:That's a great one. And if anybody's ever trying to take any of these rights from you because these are rights given to you by God and protected by your ancestors with their blood, sweat and tears Nobody has the right to take them away, regardless even if they have a majority of people saying, hey, we fuck this second amendment, fuck the first amendment. Even if there's a majority, the minority is protected by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. It's just. It's what our country was founded on. We have no country If those go, if the Constitution and the Bill of Rights go, we have no country.
Speaker 3:And go read it if you haven't, because it's amazing that this document's over 225 years old and how right they got it back then.
Speaker 2:Hey, kev, it's a funny thing and you can ask you know Audrey and Jonas because they've been through it already. We go over it before they graduate high school, gone over it with each of them, so they understand. You know, your ancestors spilled blood for this. You won't give this up. And there's some. There's some stuff flat out. There's some stuff worth dying for. That's a good one. I like that. The mandatory everybody's got to read the Constitution before their 18th birthday, or something like that.
Speaker 3:There you go. Number two as a country, I want us to be more self-sufficient. I want us to stop relying on other countries for oil and imports and all that kind of shit, you know.
Speaker 2:And we had that a few years ago.
Speaker 3:And maybe that's, maybe that's American. Well, I love my country and I love being an American. Oh, you don't want to owe anybody anything Exactly.
Speaker 2:You don't want to tip to? Oh, we got to tip to around Saudi Arabia because they have all our energy. Fuck that.
Speaker 3:Bingo you don't want to be beholden to anybody, nobody.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know we got our own thing. We're going to make it happen and I'm sorry to those of you who don't like. You know petrol energy and don't like coal energy, but that's the way it is right now and I know that you're going to use your private jet to fly from city to city to get me to stop you know my carbon footprint and then get back on your jet and laugh at us as you, as you take off, but you know that's just the way we are right now and what we need.
Speaker 3:And since we've gone heavy on the first two, I'm going to go light on the on the last one and say that we should this is going to fly in the face of my first one that we also know the Constitution. We should change the national anthem to Cannibal Corpse Hammer Smash, bass, hooray Smash.
Speaker 2:That. That's how they'll know we mean business.
Speaker 3:Damn straight brother Right there.
Speaker 2:We think America's weak. It's a good time to attack them, Sir. That's their new national anthem. I'm not sure that's a good idea. So there we go. There's my three. I love it. Now I'm interested to hear yours, obviously.
Speaker 3:No foreign aid whatsoever. Okay, sorry Ukraine, sorry warmongers until we're completely out of debt, in which we're 33 trillion or something like that now, and we, we completely make sure that no American goes to sleep hungry.
Speaker 2:Nobody outside of this country gets a dime. Okay, let me play devil's advocate on that. Okay, what happens if Ukraine falls? What do you mean? What happens if they fall? I mean, there's countries that fall all the time.
Speaker 3:It's none of our business. Okay, what did Washington warn?
Speaker 2:us about no foreign entanglements. Stick to yourselves. We're America. You know what? What did Eisenhower say as he exited the presidency? Be aware of the military industrial complex. It is extraordinarily powerful. It is very high Military industrial complex. It is extraordinarily powerful, it is very hungry and it doesn't have any boundaries. Oh and lo and behold, two and a half years later, the military industrial complex didn't like the fact that the president was saying we're not going to have a Vietnam War, you're not going to make any money. And they executed them in Dallas, texas Countries. You got to do, you got to do stuff yourself and if you want freedom and if you want, you got to you got to stand up for yourself, man.
Speaker 3:All right. I mean it kind of is similar to what my number, my number two was. You know that we become less dependent on other countries. So I get it, I get it. I just wanted to find out and present that other side is you know, does Russia get bigger and then we got to worry about them even more? Or you know? But you're you're talking about strengthening America. Okay, exactly.
Speaker 2:I know, I know a lot of people too. I was, I was talking. They're like well, we have all of these, these military assets. What do we? You know what? Let's jam those missiles full of food and let's fire food missiles into poor American cities. That are something you know something. Okay, let's feed the hunger, all right. Number two nobody can make a penny of profit off of war. Oh, defense contractors can receive reasonable wages for their work, but there is no large profiteer, no large profiteering. Plus. Check this out, kev. Family members of the president and Congress are the first ones put on the front line If there's any skirmish or war. If you're going to declare war or have a skirmish, your kids are the frontline when you're not incentivizing making military weapons and bombs and stuff.
Speaker 3:Are we not going to have that capability then?
Speaker 2:No, we still have an adequate defense of our nation. You know like people want to come and mess with us. We still have adequate defense.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, but we you know you don't go startin' wars just to sell missiles and make money. And that's Kev. A lot of it is profit.
Speaker 3:Oh, I get that. Oh yeah, come on man, it's all cash.
Speaker 2:I know that it's the United States of America Incorporated MoFo, so these guys need a lot of yachts. I mean they only have one or two yachts, kev.
Speaker 3:We would have enough to defend ourselves and we would still be manufacturing. Just nobody would be making an enormous profit off of it.
Speaker 2:Right, you'd get a fair salary. Everybody up the line, even the CEO. You'd get a fair salary.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:But that's it. Nobody's making hundreds of millions of dollars from you know, f-16 fighter jets.
Speaker 3:Yeah, would that drive the cost of the F-16 fighter jet down?
Speaker 2:Probably, and wouldn't that be amazing on our national debt.
Speaker 3:And our tax dollars.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, Okay. Number three anybody in a public office and this includes states too, and local and everything like that you can only serve a single four-year term. Love it. No reelection, no career politicians. You can only announce your candidacy 30 days before. None of this year and a half before crap, oh dude, it's been three years before. Yeah, election day is a national holiday, so everybody has to show up to the polls that day. There's no mail-in votes Because we know that's rife for fraud.
Speaker 3:All right.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's been confirmed. You must have an ID. I am so sorry if you know you don't have an ID, you don't get to vote. I have to have an ID for everything that I do. When I buy liquor, I have to have an ID when I, you know, go here, go there To have the most sacred privilege in the United States, the ability to vote and participate in our democracy. You have to have an ID or you don't vote, and then when you do vote, they put a giant black mark on your head, kind of like Ash Wednesday. Okay, Okay, it lasts three days, so no one is tempted to vote again with somebody else's ID. Because the last thing we would want, Kev, is fraudulent election. I mean, we wouldn't want no, there's nobody in our country at all that would ever want a fraudulent election. I don't want a fraudulent anything.
Speaker 2:No, voting machines that can be, hacked Paper ballots that are counted by the most honest people in the precinct.
Speaker 3:So Stephen Gertzen is going to be busy for a while.
Speaker 2:Stephen Gertzen will go from precinct to precinct, however long it takes, just to make sure he can sign off and go. Okay, this is legit.
Speaker 3:Yes, the 2024 election will be certified in 2048.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly Anybody.
Speaker 3:This will take too long.
Speaker 2:Anybody participating in election fraud Kev.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Executed for treason and sedition on public TV.
Speaker 3:Oh wow yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh and it's a side note, kind of the same thing. Lobbying elected officials is illegal. No more lobbyists. Anyone caught handing a penny to an elected official will be executed on TV to deter it from having it again.
Speaker 3:And to make my hammer smash face sound good, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:I could tell Timmy was a little angry when he was prepping today's show.
Speaker 3:Ha ha ha ha, a little bit, but yeah, hey, I forgot about what our previous topic was, so kudos, good job.
Speaker 2:That's what I wanted to do.
Speaker 3:That's what it was, yeah.
Speaker 2:I wanted you to. I wanted to put everything. I wanted to put the onus on me. There you go, so you can be clear of the onus. So there you go.
Speaker 3:Thank you, sir.
Speaker 2:Before we go, I just I want to give an update in regards to my stand-up comedy.
Speaker 3:You did not go on stage last week, I did not.
Speaker 2:I did not like Kev that I didn't have it memorized when I was rehearsing it. There were too many, I don't remember.
Speaker 3:OK.
Speaker 2:And it's so important to me to come out firing. But I think I really have it memorized now, really good.
Speaker 3:OK.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to go up multiple times this week, yeah, and I will record and. I just Is it the five that you sent me? Well, I'm glad you asked that there's been a little bit of an adjustment.
Speaker 3:OK.
Speaker 2:It just came from a Kev. I've been not only memorizing it, when I do cardio, I'm basically You're doing your routine in your head. I'm doing my routine, I'm doing it out loud.
Speaker 3:As you should.
Speaker 2:There's some other cardio people who think I'm out of my skull. Yeah, there's some runners who come up behind me and I'm going, and I'm going, it's Percy, it's Percy, you know I'm doing that, and they're like what the hell is wrong with this. And then I act like Because I got my earbuds on. You know my AirPods on, I act like I'm talking to somebody on the phone.
Speaker 2:You know I'll be like hey, let me call you back later. You know we'll get to this. You know what I'm saying, of course, so I don't think I'm totally nuts. Uh-huh. But you know I've not only been rehearsing in that way, but I've done it in front of a couple profile groups, few friends, ok, and you know I didn't factor in laughter like I should. It's a good type five, it's making people laugh.
Speaker 3:Good, that's what you want.
Speaker 2:Well, and the last thing you want to do as a committee and is start the next piece before the laughter is done. Mm-hmm. Let them get their laugh out. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:I know exactly what you're saying.
Speaker 2:So it actually started to clock in at about six, six and a half minutes.
Speaker 3:OK.
Speaker 2:Which only one place that I want to do open mics will let it go to six minutes the rest of it, hey man, five dude.
Speaker 3:All right.
Speaker 2:So you know I have. I've gotten rid of the Jesus chunk. Really, I knew you were going to say that Hold on a second, let's let's talk about this.
Speaker 3:OK.
Speaker 2:It is a good chunk, though it's so solid man. It is a good chunk, I the reason. The reason I did that is is a because the laughs are. People are laughing more than I thought, and it's taking longer, and I came up with a good riff alternative to a chunk that I have right now that I'm going to run past you, ok, all right, but yeah, the Jesus stuff is good though, isn't it?
Speaker 3:Well, you can get rid of it now and use it for a different, a different time, you know. Use it for another.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly, and let me just say that going away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me just say this you know, past my tight five, like if something happens and somebody likes my tight five and they're like oh Tuttle, that's really good, we want to pay you X amount of money. Do you have 15? I do have 15. Good, yeah, you know what I'm saying. I got, I got to get my tight. Anyway, I've tossed the Jesus out, at least for now, and I'm going to tie it time at a few more times today. And I added this to the back end of the self deprecation chunk.
Speaker 3:OK.
Speaker 2:On a total riff and I think you're going to like it. All right, I don't know. I don't know if you remember I said rejected me, like Europeans rejected soap. Yes, I changed it and I want to see if you like it. Are you ready?
Speaker 3:OK.
Speaker 2:My last three X's have all unfollowed and unfriended me. Yeah, so I guess I'm some kind of fucking nightmare. The one that hurt the most was the one who split with me right after I bought her great seats for Game Six of the World Series Using a good chunk of my son's college money. Yeah, we watched the Astros take down the crown, but hell, I could have got her front row seats to watch the Astros shower after winning the World Championship and she still would have rejected me like massage therapists. Reject the Sean Watson.
Speaker 3:Oh, ok, that'll play well in Houston.
Speaker 2:Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with that guy? He's an athlete worth tens of millions of dollars and he's over 22 in getting a happy ending. There's either something really wrong with his dick or he's an even bigger asshole than I am. Wow, ok, after listening to a couple of minutes of your so-called comedy, I'd say it's the latter. There you go.
Speaker 3:That's the new chunk. I think that'll work and I just riffed.
Speaker 2:the DeSean Watson thing Just came up and just came on it.
Speaker 3:And yeah, I came on it.
Speaker 2:I had. I did that in front of four or five people and they just rolled. I mean, they just like rolled. Now I don't know how something like that would play nationally If I ever had to do this nationally.
Speaker 3:I think people are familiar enough with it. I like it for two reasons. Number one, it is funny. Number two it's it's uncomfortable. I like it. I like I like that.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you know, kev, for those unaware of Kevin Klein and I's comedy taste, we think it is hilarious when there's discomfort. Yeah, Particularly the discomfort of bombing is hilarious to us and for the life of me and I even I even messaged him or did a comment on one of his posts. You remember Giggity? Yes, one of our knuckleheads. Yeah, justin, one of our knuckleheads, when we had a bit where we had our knuckleheads do stand up comedy at the improv and you know, a few of our knuckleheads did pretty good Tax, did a good job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was really good and you know I was talking to, to, to Giggity, and beforehand I said you got to either do one or two things you either have to kill like solid material or you have to bomb.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:And he completely bombed. He crapped all over himself and you can hear that that. That audio is out there somewhere. I don't have access to it, but you can hear on the audio Klein and I in the background just laughing our ass off at the discomfort that he caused that poor room of people at the at the improv.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:Mr President, we were unable to finish the Manhattan Project. We understand that there is a need to neutralize the Japanese Army. Right now we have this guy named Giggity In Houston, texas. We feel that if we drop him from the Enola Gay over Tokyo and allow him to do his comedic act, that the Japanese Army would surrender by morning.
Speaker 3:It was so bad. It was so bad, it was so good.
Speaker 2:I know, I know man. I told him. I said, man, it takes a lot of balls, it does. I mean it takes a lot of hard work to kill Text. Did it hard work, congratulations. But it takes balls and courage to go up there and know every single person I'm looking at three and a half, four minutes from now is going to hate my guts.
Speaker 3:And they did.
Speaker 2:And they did, and they did, and I think he was booed off the stage or the sound of crickets was so dead silent.
Speaker 3:We loved it. I wish we had it. I don't know where we could dig it up. I don't have it. I don't have it.
Speaker 2:I don't either. I wish I had it too. It's got to be somewhere.
Speaker 3:Got to be. He should have it. He should have it.
Speaker 2:I don't know why he doesn't. I may have to reach out to him because I told him when we did the, when I did the comment on his IG or whatever it was Like that was one of the greatest moments for our knuckleheads ever 26 year career we always had street guys and knuckleheads doing crazy stunts and that was one of the best moments ever when he just completely bombed, Totally Loved it Okay.
Speaker 3:Kev. Yeah, it's been a blast. It really hasn't. It's gone by so fast, holy smokes.
Speaker 2:I can't believe how this happens. It's so weird, like when we were on 93 Q and sometimes a three minute bit would take forever. Well, because, you're.
Speaker 3:The old saying is a watched clock never moves, and when you have a set amount of time, you're constantly looking at that clock and it's like, oh my gosh, I got to wrap this up. Or oh my gosh, it seems so long.
Speaker 2:We went through the dramatic majority of our career imagining our boss, johnny Chang, is sitting there with a stopwatch. Yeah so yeah, but yeah, that's a lot of fun. Before we go, a couple of things real quick. First off, please, if you're listening to this or watching this right now like subscribe, give us a rating, follow it. We really appreciate it. If you are on one of the podcast platforms, do us a favor and download it. I mean, I download it. Those are the big numbers that'll keep us going, the number of downloads. So please do that for us and tell people about it. There are a lot of you know, q morning zoo second date update fans out there that have no idea that Kevin and I have a podcast, and we'd love for people to at least try us once and see what they think.
Speaker 3:And you know what. We've touched on a couple of controversial things today. If you want to email us or send us a comment, please do. We can open up that discussion. You can start a discussion for us on the next episode. I do that with the fuzzy mic all the time. I love listener correspondence.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, if there are people out there listening going well, I like fascism, we don't want you to feel alienated, you do have. I mean, we believe in the freedom of speech, not just the things that we agree with and are thinking we love everybody's, you know speech, we don't care. So feel free if you're like, oh, I hate that second amendment or I hate the first. You know I absolutely love the mainstream media. Tim Tuttle, yeah. I think they're great. They're awesome haircuts and they're white teeth. These are great people, hey reach out to us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, reach, yeah, by all means, leave a comment and then, after we laugh at it, we will. I'm just kidding, We'll respond. We always respond.
Speaker 3:We always respond and we could very well use it on the next episode. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah. We would love to have stuff where people are angry at us and be able to read that.
Speaker 3:We're not even angry. Just give us something to think about.
Speaker 2:Sure, you know, sure, like when people like have hate, you know email and comments to us. I have to admit I read it and I get an erection. So please do, wow, okay.
Speaker 3:There you go. So when you hit send, just know what you're doing.
Speaker 2:Also, we have some fantastic merch that's available. This stuff looks really good, Kev.
Speaker 3:I want to say thank you to Diane because she sent some really nice messages about the merch. She actually purchased either a shirt or a tumbler, but she said that she really likes the logo and the colors.
Speaker 2:The colors are great. I mean, it's really sharp looking stuff and it's the highest quality product. All you have to do is go to our social media oh, by the way, please like and follow our social media Facebook, tuttle and Klein and IG and all that stuff. But right on our Facebook and our IG, for that matter, we have all the information you need so you could order some Tuttle and Klein.
Speaker 3:Merch Kev what do you have coming up, sir? You know what, this week I don't really have a whole hell of a lot of anything going on. I've got to figure out what I'm going to do for the Fuzzy Mike this week, because I don't have anything planned right now. I had a guest fall through, but I just me, you know just hanging out.
Speaker 2:Gotcha.
Speaker 3:What about you?
Speaker 2:I'm going to try to go up at least a couple of times. Do some open mic action. Probably I'm a little late for the Rudger sign up. I was a little late. You got to get in by Wednesday. Okay, a few years ago when I went there, you had to get in by Friday, but you had to get in by the Wednesday. Before you know. I'll see if I can slide in there, but I'll. I'll most likely for sure go tomorrow night. Wednesday night, I have a date with, with, yeah. So yeah.
Speaker 2:So, and then I'll go up Thursday. I don't think there's anything open mics Friday in Houston, but maybe even Saturday.
Speaker 3:Well, even though you have to get your stuff in by Wednesday for Rudger, you just show up and there's a cancellation because you know, there's going to be a lot of people that don't go.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to be up that way anyway, try to do a tight five at another place that's close by Okay. So I'll just pop my head in there and say, hey, can I get a slot? Any cancellations, any cancellations or? Anything Any chicken shits Anybody that freaks out. After only two minutes and there's some extra time, you know I'll slide in.
Speaker 3:I'll save them.
Speaker 2:And as soon as you say something like that, you pull a gig at it and you bomb yeah.
Speaker 3:But you know, somebody will laugh.
Speaker 2:Yep, exactly. All right, kevin Klein, that's been fun.
Speaker 3:Yep Been a blast bro. Thank you to air innovations and thank you to home video rescue. Appreciate you guys.
Speaker 2:Yes, Please check out their links. We got them in the description right here and use them. They're good people that have supported our podcast Later brother.
Speaker 1:That's it for this episode of the Tuttle and Klein Show. See you this Wednesday for an all new episode. Also, you can catch Tuttle on TV. He is a handsome man, and you can get more Klein on his podcast, the fuzzy Mike, with new episodes on Tuesday. Stay fuzzy, friends, and thanks for listening to the Tuttle and Klein Show. Yo, all right, take the yo out.
